Take Me As I Am!
by Grey'sAddict97
Summary: Meredith is a wild child Neuro fellow put in a position of power at Seattle Grace, Derek is a proper rules following Attending who is dating Addison…what happens when Meredith dares Derek to 'Take Me As I Am? I was given permission from MRSMCDREAMY29 who is now known as BITTERHARPY to edit and repost.
1. Moving to Seattle

**As stated in my other fanfictions, I also found and will be add my own personal touches as well. Moreover, I will be fixing grammar, changing names, among other things. All original materials and rights still are owned by _mrsmcdreamy29_**

* * *

_Chapter 1: Moving to Seattle_

Dr. Meredith Elizabeth Grey cursed for the fiftieth time in four hours. Nothing was going her way this morning or last night for that matter. It hadn't been going her way for two weeks if she really thought about it. Stupid parents, stupid new job, stupid small ass one night stand. She sighed as she dismounted off of her Harley-Davidson XL 1200N Nightster. She slipped her helmet off and shook out her blond and pink hair allowing it to fall down her back in long winding curls. She secured her helmet on her bike…her baby…and stood before the Bain of her existence…Seattle Grace Hospital. The source of her problems…it was because of her stupid parents that she had the stupid new job and the stupid small ass one-night stand. Okay, in all fairness they didn't technically pick out her one-night stand…ugh, how creepy would that shit be? But still, they were to blame for everything else.

Richard and Ellis Grey-Webber. Her parents. Her mother was THE Ellis Grey…the surgical goddess…. the inventor of the Grey Method. She married Meredith's father, if you could call a man who didn't acknowledge your existence a father, before Meredith was born and then divorced him five years later after a torrid love affair with her fellow resident and colleague Richard Webber. Richard was her father, the man who had taken a scared and uprooted five-year-old and made her feel secure and loved beyond measure. He was her daddy and she would do anything for him…obviously. Which is why she was in this rainy ass city living in a masculine decorated, though clean, house that she had lived in for her first five years and starting the before mentioned stupid new job.

Richard Webber had traded in scrubs for a business suit when he had started buying hospitals instead of working for them. He owned Webber Consolidations which had bought such hospitals as Cedar Sinai, Mount Sinai, Massachusetts General and now Seattle Grace. She worked for him as a Neurosurgery fellow at Mass Gen, where her mother was Chief of Surgery. Luckily her mother and she had a good relationship because she spent a lot of time with her. Having a good relationship with your parents could suck too. She could still remember the conversation two weeks ago.

* * *

She had arrived at Sunday brunch nursing a hangover as per usual. Why they couldn't make this later in the day she would never know. It was like they knew she had a headache the size of the East Coast and couldn't wait to torture her. She knew that they were not stupid, but she also knew they didn't know to what extent she misbehaved. She was always the good girl in front of them. Hence her proper appearance. She smoothed down her blond hair and sundress and entered their massive house, her low heels echoing on the ceramic tile. She bypassed the housekeeper Rosita, giving her a quick hug and a hello.

_"__Where are the parentals?" She asked._

_"__In the dining room." Rosita said grinning. She quickly handed Meredith two Aleve and a glass of water. Meredith smiled gratefully and swallowed them before going to greet her parents._

_"__Hello Mom, Daddy." She said, hugging them both and falling gracefully into her chair. They had a wonderful meal of pancakes, eggs, bacon, ham and juice and coffee._

_She sat back after she finished and looked at them shrewdly._

_"__Okay, what is it?"_

_"__What is what?" Her mom asked innocently. Meredith snorted. Ellis Grey-Webber innocent? Not hardly. She looked at her mom, disbelievingly. Ellis looked at Richard._

_Her dad cleared his throat._

_"__Meredith I just acquired a new hospital and I need to have it overseen now instead of three months from now as I had hoped. I can't go tend to it myself due to the unfortunate lawsuits I am facing with Mount Sinai."_

_Meredith nodded. She knew all too well the problems that her father had found himself in with a doctor at the New York Hospital who had taken it upon himself to Kevorkian a few patients four months ago. Seven families were now suing the doctor and the hospital. It had really stressed her dad out and she was worried about his health._

_"__Okay…" She said, still not getting what that had to do with her._

_"__I want you to go get things started."_

_Meredith's mouth flew open. She bolted out of her chair._

_"__Seriously? No! Hell no! I have a job here, I have friends here, I have…a…great bartender here." She ranted._

_"__Meredith, you are twenty-seven years old and you are a brilliant surgeon, but I had always hoped that you would take over for me when I retired. You know what the job entails, you have worked with me before while you were in medical school." Richard said._

_"__That was seven years ago. I am a surgeon, I cut people, I don't do paperwork unless it is notes on a patient I cut on." She said, crossing her arms over her chest._

_"__Meredith I wouldn't ask if I didn't really need you there." He said._

_"__What about Peter?" Peter Connolly was her dad's right-hand man._

_"__I need him for the other two hospitals, he is stretched thin as it is."_

_Meredith looked at Ellis._

_"__Mom?" She asked, pleading with her._

_"__There is no other way Meredith. This was too good of an opportunity to pass up. We had to buy it now. And they need someone there to have the transition run smoothly." She said, apology in her eyes._

_Meredith fought the urge to stomp her foot._

_"__How long would I have to be there?" She asked._

_Richard breathed a sigh of relief._

_"__Three months…maybe four tops. Then you can come back here and resume your life as it was." He said._

_"__I have to be able to cut Daddy. That is my only condition. I will find someone to help me with the paperwork and the meetings when I get there." She said._

_"__Done. Whatever you need to do, do it. I am counting on you Mer. Please don't let me down." He said._

_Meredith nodded._

_"__You can live in the house I have there." Ellis told her._

_"__Wait…where is this hospital?" She asked._

_"__Seattle."_

_Meredith blinked._

_"__Seattle? The rain capital of the world? Where my sperm donor lives? Seriously?" She ranted._

_"__It is just for a little while Mer." Richard said._

_Meredith sighed._

_"__Fine. But you two so owe me one." She said._

_"__We know dear." They said simultaneously, exchanging affectionate looks._

* * *

Meredith had decided right then that if she had to do this, she would dress and act as she wanted to away from the prying eyes of her parents. She had inserted her pink clip-in hair extensions and paid a pretty penny to have her bike transported to her. It was time to shake things up a bit.

As far as her one-night stand went…if this was the quality of men in Seattle, she would need to get out her Mr. Rabbit aka The Love Bunny. Eight-hour battery span resembled a cucumber and had a thing for her clit that had her moaning in eight seconds and cumming in twenty. Dude last night looked promising…she now knew she should grab them first to test out the package before wasting her time. She got him home and things had gotten hot and heavy and she swore to the Lord above the guy wasn't bigger than five fucking inches. He had looked at her and obviously mistaken the disgust on her face for lust and had asked her… "Do you want some of this bad boy?" She had looked at him and responded, "No, you have spanked your bad boy for so long, he got shell shock, now get the fuck out." Daniel, or as she liked to call him 'runs with short stick' had ran away crying for some reason. Oh well. What did he think she could do with that? Her finger was longer.

She felt a raindrop hit her face, drawing her out of her thoughts.

"Ugh." She said, quickly rushing into the hospital, leather and water did not mix so well.

* * *

Dr. Derek Christopher Shepherd locked the door to his 2009 Lexus and walked towards the hospital. He met up with Dr. Mark Sloan on the way there.

"Hey man." Mark greeted him.

"Hey. You look happy this morning." Derek said.

"Yep got laid last night…twice." Mark gloated.

Derek shook his head.

"Have fun with your STDs. That thing is going to rot off." Derek said.

"You're just jealous. You are arguing over apartments, trying to find a place that has a big enough closet for Addison's clothes while I am banging any pussy that moves." Mark said.

'We are just having a difference of opinion, that is all." He defended.

"You want a house out in the wilderness, and she wants a high rise penthouse apartment…that is a difference of personalities not opinions. Man, you aren't going to do anything stupid like marry her are you?"

"I don't know…I have been with Addie for over a year. I am thirty-six years old. I want to get married and have children. My lease on the house I am in is up next month, so we are just going to move in with each other after we agree on a place and see how it goes from there."

"Do you honestly think Addie is going to ruin her figure giving you a kid? You would have better luck finding a surrogate right now and doing it that way. Don't make a mistake that you can't fix easily Derek." Mark warned. "Besides I know the sex can't be that good. She looks like she would be a cold fish."

"Mark, knock it off. I already have Mom on my case, I don't need you starting in on me too."

Carolyn Shepherd hated Addison Montgomery. She felt that Addison was too privileged to deign herself worthy to hang around with the Shepherds. Addison rarely made family functions and had taken to buying Derek's clothes and dressing him in the way she thought he should be dressed. Carolyn hated that. In her opinion, Derek didn't need to change any.

'Fine, whatever man, I just think she is all wrong for you." Mark said.

"And who, in your opinion, would be right for me?" Derek asked.

Mark had stopped dead on the sidewalk and Derek barreled into him.

"Hey! What the hell?" Derek protested.

"Ho…lee…Fuck." Mark whistled.

Derek followed Mark's gaze and his own settled on a petite woman about five seven, a hundred pounds soaking wet, wearing a black helmet with pink flames, tight dark blue jeans, a black leather jacket and three inch high heeled boots. She was standing next to a motorcycle.

"Nice bike." Derek said.

Mark turned and looked at him, mouth agape.

"Nice bike? Dude Addison has castrated you."

They both looked back at the girl who had taken off her helmet and shook out her luscious hair.

"She has pink hair Mark." He said.

"I know, hot huh?" Mark said.

"Stop your drooling, she is probably jailbait. We don't want to be late for the meeting with the new owners, let's go."

Derek dragged Mark to the hospital entrance.

"I don't get you, you haven't even seen her face, what if she is a 'dog'." Derek said using his fingers to imitate quotation marks, throwing Mark's rating system back in his face. Woman were not objects, and he hated Mark treating them like they were. He had four sisters and he would kill someone if they treated them like Mark treated women.

Mark winked at him.

"I don't have to fuck her face."

"I am a lesser man for having known you." Derek said shaking his head.

"Keep telling yourself that…" Mark grinned. "You will thank me one day when you want a quick fuck because Addison isn't putting out."

"I don't want your leftovers; I am capable of finding my own women thank you very much. Not that I would ever cheat on Addie."

"Yeah sure you won't…after all you have done so well for yourself in the past."

Derek thought back. Mark had a point; he did tend to stick with straight-laced career driven women. There was nothing wrong with that. Having a stable person in your life. Granted the sex wasn't adventurous but that was okay. He liked Addison, she wanted the same things out of life that he did, and he had a feeling one day she would be Addison Shepherd.

"That is a matter of opinion." He said finally, walking away from Mark and effectively ending the conversation…for now.

* * *

**Please read and review? Thanks, I love you all!**


	2. I Am Dr Meredith Grey

_Chapter 2: I Am Dr. Meredith Grey_

Meredith walked into the conference room and sat down in the back row. She didn't want anyone to know who she was just yet. She liked to observe people first and get her opinion of them before they could make one on her. There were well over one hundred people here, most in scrubs, some in suits…must be the stiffs on the board. Richard had informed them his daughter was coming in his place, but she hadn't met them yet. She couldn't wait, she thought dryly. Two men sat three rows in front of her, arguing with each other. One was a dark blonde with gray hair streaked within. He was at least six two, very well built, gorgeous…looked like a good fuck. She bet he wouldn't be five inches. The man next to him had dark thick luscious locks that made your fingers itch to have the chance to run them through it. He was about five eleven, a hundred and ninety pounds, average build. His sideways profile displayed a slightly crooked nose and a crooked smirk to go along with it. She leaned forward to hear what they were saying.

"I just don't like it." The blond said, she would call him…McSteamy.

"You don't have to like it." McDreamy said.

"I am looking out for your best interest. I love ya man. I don't want to see you make a mistake like this." McSteamy said.

_Oh…they were gay. She frowned. What the fuck? What was the world coming to when two gorgeous male specimens had the hots for each other?_ She had nothing against gay people, some of her best friends were gay but damn. Seattle sucked. Her vagina waved bye bye to the notion of getting any action with a live penis. The Love Bunny it is.

"Fuck!" She cursed for the fifty first time.

McDreamy and McSteamy looked back at her and she glared at them. Stupid gay doctors.

"What?" She yelled.

They looked to each other and blinked, taken aback by her attitude. She decided to have a little fun…they could be bisexual after all and a threesome wouldn't be totally out of the question. A little sandwich action could be enjoyable.

She leaned forward, making sure her breasts were behaving themselves by being showcased properly in her low-cut black sweater.

"Tell me…" She purred. "What does a woman such as myself have to do to get a thorough examination by hot male doctors such as yourselves?"

McSteamy smiled and McDreamy swallowed hard. Hmmm….maybe not so gay after all.

"Just tell me when and where." McSteamy said.

She turned to McDreamy and looked at him, biting her lip in an innocent gesture.

"And you?" She asked.

He leaned forward and cleared his throat uncomfortably. Now that he was a little closer, she could see that his eyes were a cobalt blue. Her throat went dry.

"Sorry, I am taken but my friend here is more than willing to do anyone or anything. Just be sure to have him wear protection, though I am sure the syphilis is all gone by now." He said.

Meredith cut her eyes to McSteamy, who was looking at McDreamy like he was going to kill him. Meredith snorted.

"Um…no thanks." She said to McSteamy.

"I…no….I don't…he was kidding…I…" McSteamy stuttered.

"Yeah…" She said.

"So, what do you to do here besides spread disease?" She asked, cutting a disgusted look at Mark.

"I am Dr. Mark Sloan head of plastics and this asshole is Dr. Derek Shepherd, head of Neuro. And you are?" McSteamy…er…Mark said. So Blue Eyes was her boss. Interesting.

"I am just a girl in a hospital." She said.

"You just want to hang out in a conference room for no good reason?" Derek asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah, you got a problem with that?" She asked curtly. She didn't like being questioned, even if he was her boss. Wait a damn minute, she was technically his boss. Hmmm….so many possibilities.

"It's your time. What do you do for a living?" He asked.

"A little of this, a little of that." She informed him vaguely.

"Let me guess…you are in between jobs and want to pick up a rich doctor to live off of. I should tell you that pink hair will only get you laid, not married. Now if you dressed up a little and got rid of the extensions maybe…" He told her.

She narrowed her eyes. He was like sympathetic or some shit. Like she was a clueless adolescent who needed to have help dressing herself in the morning.

"Thanks for the advice. I will put it up there with making sure to always wear panties…which I don't do…ever." She hissed at him, her eyes flashing.

Just then a tall redhead walked past her and stopped in the aisle where her new bitches were.

"May I get by Mark?" She asked.

Mark just looked at her and stayed where he was.

Derek kicked his leg and made him move to allow the redhead to get past. She sat down on the other side of Derek and kissed his cheek.

_So this was his bitch…looked frigid to her._ She would call her…Firecrotch.

"I found an apartment to look at. It is seven minutes away and is on the sixteenth floor overlooking Eliot Bay. It sounds perfect! We have an appointment tomorrow night. It has big closets and a hot tub and two bedrooms." She said excited.

_Was this bitch for real?_

"So have you two heard about the new owner? I hear the guy is sending his stepdaughter to start things off. I bet she doesn't know a thing about medicine. She probably spends her day at the mall spending Daddy's money." Firecrotch said.

_Was she kidding? Meredith made a mental note to torture her as much as possible._

"I hope she doesn't mess with my department. I have a degree in Gynecology and Obstetrics and a Ph D in Genetics. I hope she knows that we are the best in our fields." Red said.

_Yeah, bitch…keep on talking_.

Meredith leaned forward.

"Hey you. Fi…Red." She quickly amended.

They all looked back at her again. Firecrotch had a disdainful look on her face.

"Are you talking to me?' She asked loftily, looking Meredith over and obviously finding her lacking.

"No I am talking to the other redhead in your row." Meredith said sarcastically.

_Bitch actually looked for another redhead and then looked back at her confused._

Are you kidding me?

"Yes I am talking to you. What is your name?" Meredith asked, super sweetly.

"What is it to you?"

"I heard you say you were a gynecologist and I happen to be looking for one and I just wondered." Meredith shrugged.

"I am Dr. Addison Montgomery." She said proudly.

Like that meant shit to her.

"Thank you. I will be looking you up real soon."

_Thank you bitch._

"Yeah, you do that." Addison said, dismissing her.

"Alright everyone come to order. As you all know Seattle Grace has a new owner and I am not quite sure where she is at the moment. I told her to be here at eight, but you know how young people are these days. Now her name is Meredith Grey and you might recognize the name. She is the daughter of Ellis Grey-Webber and the stepdaughter of Richard Webber. Richard could not be with us for another three months, so he sent Meredith in his place to get things transitioned over. Meredith is a neurosurgeon fellow and has asked she be allowed to continue her fellowship here so she will not be behind when she returns to Mass Gen. I know we will all be very welcoming to her when she arrives. Go out of your way to help her. I know I can count on you all."

Meredith stood up and walked confidently to the front, feeling all eyes on her. She smiled and walked up to the podium.

"May I help you?" The stiff asked, confused.

"No." She said simply. She turned and smirked at the audience.

"Hi there. You are probably wondering who I am and the answer to that is not a pink haired bimbo trying to land a doctor for marriage or syphilis, for that matter, nor am I a flighty daddy's girl who spends her days at the mall…I am a neurosurgeon and a damn good one and as of this moment…I am your boss. My name is Dr. Meredith Grey and you can call me Dr. Meredith Grey."

She focused on the three shocked people near the back.

"We are going to have so much fun." She smirked, winking at them.


	3. Meredith Meets Cristina

_Chapter 3: Meredith Meets Cristina_

"She's our boss?" Mark asked, interested.

"She's our boss?" Derek groaned, embarrassed.

"She's our boss?" Addison shrieked, outraged.

_Oh shit._

Derek resisted the urge to band his head up against the nearest brick wall.

Way to make a good first impression Shepherd. Accuse her of trolling for a rich husband and insult her appearance.

"Well that is not the way I thought that would go." Mark said.

"This is not good." Derek said.

"It is not that bad Shep." Mark said.

"You are plastics. I will be seeing her every damn day. She is Neuro." Derek hissed. "She is going to torture me."

"Well, you did insult her."

"You tried to give her syphilis." Derek countered.

"That shit has been gone for a long time and you know it." Mark told him hotly.

"Will you two shut up? Who cares? She is a nobody. Who cares who her mother or her step daddy is? She is here as a pawn…a substitute. She holds no real power over us. She is simply a babysitter until Daddy Dearest gets here." Addison said confidentially.

'I will let you tell her that." Mark said.

"Oh please I can handle her. She is nobody to me. She will be gone in three months and no one will ever remember her. I eat little girls like that for breakfast." Addison said, dismissing Mark as she normally did. She couldn't wait until she was married to Derek and then she would kick Mark to the curb. Kind of like a stepchild you sent to boarding school.

They returned their attention to the front.

"Now, I consider myself to be fair. If you have a problem with anything I put in effect, just let me know and we will see if we can come to an agreement that everyone can live with. I am not here to change everything that this hospital is, but if it was running as it should be, we wouldn't have had the opportunity to take it over, so obviously some changes are necessary. On that note, I will need a team in place to help me get things going. I intend to be on the surgical rotation three days a week, which leaves me three days for admin work. I will be off on Sundays; I am always off on Sundays. That is nonnegotiable. I will be accepting applications for my team effective immediately. Fourth year residents and up only, third year and lower and attendings need not apply. You already have enough on your plates as it is. I will keep the board informed as I see necessary. Do not call me sixty times a day for an answer to an insane question you should already know the answer to…you wear a suit; you are not stupid…if you need to know the answer to the square root of pi…google it. I will be meeting with the Chief of Surgery and the surgical attendings in one hour. That is all for now."

Meredith walked off of the stage and walked back up the aisle with her head held high and a smirk on her face. She slowed down to raise an eyebrow at her attendings. They looked…apprehensive.

_Good._

* * *

She found her office and looked around at the surroundings. It was…posh and blah. Ugh! So not her. Oh well, a little black paint and a stripper pole and it would be home in no time. She turned to the door when she heard a knock.

"Doors open." She called.

A curly dark-haired Asian woman stuck her head in.

"Yes?" Meredith asked.

The woman walked all the way in and sat down, draping her leg over the chair arm.

"Make yourself at home." Meredith said sarcastically.

"Don't mind if I do." The woman said meeting her eyes in a challenge.

"What do you want?"

"You said you were looking for help."

"And you want to help me Dr…"

"Cristina Yang." She supplied.

"I shall call you Cristina."

"I would rather you not."

"I didn't ask you. You want to help me with admin? Bullshit. You are all about the cutting."

"True, but it will look good on my CV." Cristina said.

"That it would. Okay, we will do admin WTFIWT."

"Excuse me?" Cristina looked confused.

"Whenever the fuck I want to. WTFIWT."

Cristina chuckled.

"You are all bitter and pissed off…we will get along just fine Dr. Grey." She said.

"Call me Meredith. Now do you know any others who would want to do this shit?"

"Yeah, they are all fellows though."

"I don't care at this point. I would let the lunch lady do it if it meant more time for cutting." Meredith said.

"Okay I will have them come by. Alex Karev is like me, he doesn't care about tact…Izzie Stevens and George O'Malley however…" Cristina winced.

"Oh God…shiny happy people?" Meredith asked.

"Yep. I will keep you stocked with Tequila." Cristina quipped.

"I will love you forever. So, give me a heads up. What's the 411 on our illustrious attendings?" Meredith asked leaning forward.

"Okay there are four main attendings…"

"I have met three of them."

"You have? Damn, you just got here. You work fast." Cristina said.

"You have no idea and yeah, they definitely made an impression." Meredith smirked.

'Do tell."

"Lets just say that McSteamy, McDreamy and Firecrotch have a few hoops to jump through."

"Firecrotch?" Cristina gasped, letting loose peals of laughter.

She settled down after a moment.

"Okay, Mark Sloan…total ass…one step away from a sexual harassment suit, sleeps with anyone or anything he can get his hands on. Hates interns, thinks they are beneath them and he just about refuses to teach them anything."

"So in other words…prick with a dick. Next?"

"Derek Shepherd…nice guy, needs to loosen up some. Great teacher, great bedside manner…patients and doctors love him."

"So he is a stuffed shirt with a heart of gold…probably a Momma's Boy. Go on."

"Addison Montgomery…thinks her shit don't stink and she treats Shepherd like a lapdog…dresses him and all…trust fund baby from the East Coast…decent doctor but arrogant to an almost pathological degree."

"Alpha Bitch…"

"That leaves us with Major Owen Hunt…he is the head of Trauma…stays out of the drama fest that is the other three. Served two tours in Iraq as a surgeon…directly in the line of fire…he has some PTSD but has come a long way with therapy…he is fair, he likes to teach and he doesn't cause too much trouble…has different ways of doing things…"

Meredith looked at her shrewdly.

"How long have you been banging Major Hottie?" She asked.

"Long enough." Cristina smirked.

"Tell me about the Chief." Meredith demanded.

"Dr. Miranda Bailey…never call her Miranda…she answers to Bailey or Dr. Bailey…tough as nails but actually has a heart of gold…she is an enigma. Brilliant General and Pediatric surgeon doesn't take shit off of anyone…doing an excellent job as Chief."

Meredith nodded. She glanced at the door when she heard a brisk knock.

"Would you mind letting the Geek Squad in? Oh, and have the other three Amigos come in and meet me." Meredith asked.

"No problem boss." Cristina said, her trademark smirk in place as she opened the door.

"Already sucking up huh Yang?" Addison said hatefully.

"You know what they say about the early bird. Don't worry Fire C she is waiting on you five." Cristina looked meaningfully at Owen. "Ya'll have fun now, ya hear?" She said imitating a southern accent.

"Fire C?" Addison asked. "What is Fire C?"

"Oh I am sorry that is need to know information. Now I must be going…those hearts won't cut into themselves."

Meredith laughed quietly as she heard Cristina depart. Then she schooled her expression.

"Come on in and have a seat. Welcome to the first of many meetings we will have during my reign."

The five looked at each other, clearly apprehensive.

Just what she wanted.


	4. Meeting with the Attendings

_Chapter 4: Meeting with the Attendings_

"Okay, as you know I am Dr. Meredith Grey. I have been appointed by my father…"

"Step father." Addison corrected haughtily.

Meredith fixed her stare on Addison and blinked once.

"As I was saying, I was appointed by my father to oversee the transition from the previous owners to Webber Consolidations. I intend to make this as seamless as possible. From the information I gathered from Cristina, all of you are adequate at your job so I see no reason to get rid of you…yet." She amended looking at Addison.

"Cristina?" Addison asked.

"Dr. Yang." She informed.

"Oh. I never knew her first name." Addison shrugged.

"More like you didn't bother to learn it." Meredith corrected harshly. She abhorred snobbery and Addison was full of it.

"Semantics." Addison said, waving her perfectly manicured hand in dismissal.

Meredith glared at her.

"Now, as I am a Neurosurgery fellow, I will be working very closely with Derek." She paused, fixing her gaze on him. "May I call you Derek when I am not under you?" She asked, emphasizing under. Looking at him did delicious things to her girl parts.

Derek cleared his throat.

"Oh um…yeah of course Dr. Grey." He agreed, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

"Please call me Meredith." She offered.

"Well, Meredith, as the Head of Plastics, I would like you to be aware of the fact that my department brings in more revenue than all of the other departments." Mark said, smiling seductively. He was gorgeous and would be a wondermous lay however the whole STD issue turned her off. She liked her vajayjay way too much to let it rot off because of a manwhore.

"It is Dr. Grey." She corrected him.

He looked confused.

"You just told Derek to call you…"

"Yes, Derek can call me Meredith, as can Dr. Hunt and Dr. Bailey, you and Montgomery however will call me Dr. Grey."

"And why is that?" Addison asked.

"Because you are a bitch and Markie here is in a superficial occupation designed to make woman feel bad enough about themselves to seek out elective surgery to make someone love them." She said smiling sarcastically at the redhead.

"You can't talk to me like that." Addison said.

"Actually I can and if you don't like it you can be assured that you can resign at any time, no notice needed." Meredith said, her voice low and deadly.

Mark smiled.

"May I call you Grey?" He asked respectively.

Meredith smiled.

"Yes you may. And thank you for taking that like a man instead of an insolent child." She commended him.

"I would like to get together at least once a week to go over any concerns you might have regarding patients or fellow surgeons or the suits upstairs who are blowing smoke up their asses as we speak. If you can't make the appointment due to surgery just get with me when you can. Does anyone have any questions?" She asked, concluding the meeting.

Everyone shook their heads. Addison still looked mutinous.

"Okay then, you are excused. Derek, do you mind staying for a moment so we can work out my surgery schedule?" She asked.

"Sure." He said slowly looking into her emerald irises and swallowing again. She somehow had the ability to make his saliva glands work overtime.

"Great!" She said, smiling brightly and stealing his breath away.

He vaguely felt Addison pull on his arm in warning and he pulled his arm away slowly. He patted at her arm.

"I will see you at lunch Addie." He said, dismissing her.

If steam could have actually came from her ears, it would've, Meredith thought stifling a laugh. Derek would be putty in her hands.

Addison threw a warning look at Meredith, her blue eyes flashing with fire before stalking out after everyone and slamming the door.

* * *

Derek looked at Meredith.

"Sorry about that. Addie can be…" He trailed off.

"Spoiled, snobby, bitchy?" She supplied.

"I was actually going to go for forceful but okay…" He said, smiling slightly.

"You should see her clearer than anyone. You are together, am I correct on that?" She asked, hopping on her desk and leaning forward to where he could look down her sweater.

"Um…uh…well you see…yes…no…" He hesitated as he looked at her.

"Well, which is it?" She smiled.

Derek shook his head trying to clear it. She made him all…foggy and hazy.

"Yes." He said decisively. "We are together, and we are going to live with each other in the near future."

Meredith looked at him for a long silent moment. Too bad, she thought regretfully. She didn't go after anyone's man, no matter how bitchy the woman was. They were slightly committed and as fun as sex could be with him, she was no home wrecker.

"Hope that works out for you." She said, her voice strained.

"Thank you."

His eyes met hers, green clashing with blue, his own eyes regretful. Interesting.

"Well, I am looking forward to working with you Derek. Word is you are the shit in the surgical world. I can't wait to see you in action. Do you mind if I scrub in with you tomorrow?" She asked excitedly.

"That would be fine Dr…Meredith. I would like the chance to observe you as well. Is that all?" Derek asked, rising to his feet, his hands shaking slightly. Oh god, she hoped he didn't have a tremor. She opted not to say anything to him just yet. She would observe him in the OR tomorrow and decide if there was cause to worry.

"Yeah…no…When I am on your service, you are the boss. Don't worry about me trying to pull rank or think if you correct me it will affect our working relationship. You are the attending and I am the student when I am in that OR. The rest…well the rest we will play by ear." She said, emphatically.

Derek looked at her in amazement.

"I think that is more than fair Meredith and I appreciate that. It would be very difficult to teach you if you were on a power trip."

"Oh…I am on a power trip alright just not enough of one to mess with my career. Administratively speaking…all bets are off." She laughed.

He was…dazzled. That is the only word he could think of in that moment. Her laugh was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. It was throaty and sweet all wrapped up into one little package. She was a dichotomy…she was almost impossible to figure out in one meeting. It could take months to get to know what makes her tick. That didn't sound altogether horrible to him. Addie would have a difference of opinion he was sure.

Addie…

He looked at her and smiled.

"Well, I will be seeing you tomorrow. I scrub in at 8am…don't be late Dr. Grey." He said professionally.

She noticed his change of manner and responded accordingly.

"Yes sir. I will be on time." She said with a mock salute.

Derek nodded and left without a backward glance, though it took every fiber of his being to do so. What was it about her that made him forget all of his senses and his responsibilities.

Right?


	5. Truth or Dare

_Chapter 5: Truth or Dare_

"Here's to my first day as Head Bitch." Meredith said, raising her glass in a toast. The other occupants at the table did as well, laughing. She had met the rest of the 'administrative' group that Cristina had recommended. Alex was…well…a cocky asshole…basically McSteamy 2.0 and Izzie and George were just as Cristina had described them…def the Gruesome Twosome…it would be fun to fuck with them…all together they were cool and she could see herself actually maybe enjoying her stay here…as long as her friend Jose was involved. He always promised a good time.

"Let's play Truth or Dare." Izzie suggested. Everyone groaned. Meredith looked at them. There had to be a story there.

"What?" She asked.

"Last time we played, Izzie, brilliant brainiac that she is, dared George to go hit on this chick at the bar…at least we thought it was a chick…" Cristina began.

"So wasn't a chick." George said, shuddering.

"You did gain a new friend Bambi." Alex said, laughing.

"Yeah, but only so he wouldn't make me his bitch." George interjected.

Meredith snorted.

"I'm in. Unless you guys are too chicken?" She asked, raising her eyebrow in a challenge.

"In." They all agreed.

"Okay here are the rules." Izzie began.

"Rules? You guys have rules? Oh hell no, you play with me you throw that rules shit out the window. Capice?" She asked.

"No problem." Cristina said. She loved a good competition.

"Okay, I will start. Alex, truth or dare?" She asked.

"Dare of course." Alex said.

Meredith spotted just who she was looking for across the room.

"I want you to go tell Firecrotch…I mean Dr. Montgomery…that you have decided to switch to the Gynie Brigade…in front of Mark Sloan." She dared.

The color drained out of Alex's face.

"Damn Grey…that is like career suicide." He complained.

"Oh lighten up Pansy Ass and go do it." She ordered. "Unless you just won't and in that case…"

"I'm going and beware Grey, beware." He said, draining his drink and stalking over to the group of Attendings.

"Um…Dr. Montgomery…I just…" Alex stuttered.

"Yes Karev?" She said, full of spite and malice. Plastics was a horrible career path in her eyes, full of vapid patients and doctors for that matter.

"I have decided that Plastics isn't for me and I would love the opportunity to practice Gyne…" He swallowed the bullshit word. "cology." He finished.

"What?" Mark said. He had to put up with this cocky bastard for seven fucking years and now he decides he wants to pull babies out of twats?

"There are so many tummy tucks and ass lifts you can do before you feel like you have a greater meaning in life…sir…sorry." Alex said, mentally cursing Meredith.

"Um…you would have to clear it with Bailey?" Addison asked, very confused at Alex Karev's sudden change of heart. She has thought about sleeping with him, but he had bad mouthed her occupation so much she would have had to gag him if that were to ever happen, without Derek ever knowing of course.

"Yeah…um…sure. Have a nice night." He said, backing up and almost running back to the table. Meredith smirked at him.

"I know you are my boss, but I hate you right now." He told her.

She grinned at him and blew him a kiss.

They played for another hour. George refused to pick a dare after last time. No amount of ribbing could convince him otherwise. Cristina got dared to drink four shots of tequila…in rapid succession. She looked a little green. Izzie had to take off her bra and throw it at the next table. She got four phone numbers. Up until that point Meredith had done dares but it seemed like they were afraid to push her too far.

"Truth or Dare Meredith?" Alex asked, his eyes glinting with mischief.

"Dare." She said confidently. Bring it on Bitch!

"Oh this is going to be good." Cristina murmured.

"I dare you to go straddle Dr. Hunt over there." He said.

Cristina gritted her teeth. No one knew except for Owen, herself and now Meredith about their 'relationship'.

Meredith looked at Cristina and nodded reassuringly at her.

"Done." She said, walking steadily towards the table holding Mark, Addison, Owen and Derek. She plopped herself into Owen's lap and whispered 'relax, this is okay with her, it's just a dare' in his ear. He nodded once and his eyes smiled at her. Damn he was hot. They knew how to grow them here. She turned to the other shocked occupants at the table.

"How is everyone?" She said smiling widely.

"What do you think you are doing?" Addison asked.

"I am giving Major Hottie here a lap dance. What did it look like I was doing? Oh wait…you probably don't know what that is…it is where a girl dry fucks a guy while sitting on his lap. It is major fun. You should try it, Derek would like it, I'm sure." She quipped while winking at Derek and Mark.

"I highly doubt that." Addison said stiffly.

"I don't. Here I will prove it to you." Meredith got up and straddled Derek's lap and gyrated on his lap. He stifled a groan and glared at her. She smiled wickedly. She looked at Addison.

"He likes it…a lot. About nine to ten inches a lot I would say." She smirked.

Addison turned an interesting shade of red. Meredith got up…rather reluctantly. Dude was packing a huge cock that rivaled Mr. Bunny. Derek arranged his boner quickly and glanced nervously between Meredith and Addison.

"Better see if McBitchy here needs any CPR…I will see you all later." She waggled her fingers at them and walked seductively away. She glanced back and saw Derek trying to calm Addison down. Take that be otch…

Cristina got on her knees and bowed down to Meredith.

"You are the High Priestess of Bitchiness. I bow to you." She said.

"Get up off the floor, do you have any idea how filthy it is?" Meredith said.

"Yep, too drunk to care." Cristina said, getting up and popping a peanut in her mouth as she settled back into her chair.

"You just made an enemy for life." Izzie said, looking back where Addison was shrieking at Derek.

"Do I look like I care? I will be here for three months tops. She will be a blip on my radar by then. Besides what is she going to do? I am technically her boss." Meredith shrugged.

"She might stab you with her five-inch Manalo's." Alex pointed out.

Meredith snorted.

"Please, like I don't carry a ten blade on my person twenty-four seven…"

"You are very scary…hot…but scary." George slurred.

Meredith patted him on his cheek.

"How sweet…you do know you don't have a chance in hell with me right?" Meredith said, nipping that crush in the fucking bud.

"Yeah, I still like looking at you though." He smiled dreamily at her.

"Oh god, someone get him laid please." Meredith looked at Izzie.

'Don't look at me." She said, shaking her head.

"Hey! Bambi!" Cristina yelled.

"Huh? Mommy? What?" He yelled and looked around wildly.

Cristina rolled her eyes.

"How did we ever become friends? Look, see that nurse over there? Dark hair, big teeth, always eating candy? Yeah…her. So, go fuck her…now." She ordered.

"Okay." He grinned, getting up and stumbling over to a table full of women.

"Who did you just send him to?" Meredith asked.

"Rose Collins…Head of the Skankanonymous Club." Cristina informed her.

"And you sent George over there? She will eat him alive…especially with those teeth." Meredith said craning her neck to keep an eye on him.

"He is a grown boy." Alex said.

"Who can end up with McSteamy's syphilis if he is not careful. I assure you he doesn't want it to fall off." Meredith reasoned.

"Sloan had syphilis?" Cristina gasped before laughing loudly.

"Ewwww…" Izzie said.

"Didn't you sleep with him two years ago?" Alex pointed out.

"You don't think I have it do you?" She asked panicked.

"Has your pussy rotted out?" Meredith asked.

"No…"

"Then I think you are safe…so…how was he?" Meredith asked, creeping closer to Izzie.

"He knows what he is doing, but…"

"But?" Meredith and Cristina asked eagerly.

"Ok I am leaving on that note. Nice to meet ya Grey. See you tomorrow everyone." Alex said sauntering off. No one noticed his departure.

Izzie blushed.

"He…I mean…he wasn't…" She lowered her voice to a whisper. "…very big."

Meredith and Cristina blinked and shared a look.

"Like how not very big?" Meredith prompted.

"You can't tell anyone…" Izzie warned.

"We won't." They said simultaneously.

"Okay…he is…a six incher." Izzie nodded earnestly.

"That is such a disappointment." Meredith said.

"Yeah. That totally ruins the fantasy." Cristina agreed.

"He knew what to do with it…you know what they say, 'it isn't the size of the boat, it's the…"

"Yeah, we got it Tinkerbell." Cristina said, holding her hand up.

"On that note I need another drink." Meredith said.

"Yeah." Cristina and Izzie sighed.


	6. Surprise Roommates

_Chapter 6: Surprise Roomates_

Derek unlocked his front door and threw his keys on the foyer table. He stood there for a moment and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. After the stunt that Meredith pulled, Addison had told him that if his dick had liked it so much, he should go take care of his obvious problem himself and then left. He took that to mean he was staying at his own house tonight. Fine by him. She was a neat freak and while Derek was clean, he didn't take it to the extremes that Addison did. Just one of the things he would have to get used to when he moved in with her. He looked around at the house he had resided in for two years. He leased it from EKG Inc and his lease was up next month. Apparently, the owners would need it back soon. He really liked the house and would have bought it had he had the option. It was close to the hospital and had all the amenities he needed though the kitchen could use some updating. He would really miss the garage and hopefully the apartment they picked out would have one. Parking in Seattle was a nightmare.

He trudged up the stairs and walked into his bedroom, frowning when he got up there. He could swear he made the bed last week before he had left to go stay with Addison. Maybe not. He shed his clothing and put them in the hamper before donning a pair of boxers and a worn shirt. He slipped under the covers and closed his eyes. They opened back up when he realized he still had the scent of one Meredith Grey lingering on his person. She smelled like some kind of flower…lavender he thought it was. She was an enigma that woman. She was a feisty ball of fire, but her eyes showed a gentler kinder side than her appearance let on. She was soft and hard, sweet and sour, a lady…and a tramp. Derek snorted to himself as he thought about the shit, she had given Addison tonight. That was going to be interesting to watch. Fire and Ice battling it out.

He fell asleep with the thought of Meredith Grey on his mind.

* * *

Meredith stumbled into her house at 2am, more than a little drunk. She shushed herself and then giggled when she realized she was alone. She threw her keys on the hall table and looked up at the stairs.

She stumbled to the couch in the living room instead. No way was she breaking any of her bones tonight.

Speaking of bones…

Derek Shepherd had a massive one. Who would have thought that McDreamy was McPacking? Also why did Addison look like she swallowed a lemon all the time when she had that at home? There was no way she was utilizing the full use of that tool.

If Meredith had the chance to bang that…Dude wouldn't be able to walk straight for a week. Neither would she. She smiled drunkenly to herself at that thought before falling into a deep dreamless sleep.

* * *

Meredith blinked herself awake the next morning and groaned. Her head was splitting in two. She looked around quickly and then winced…and then looked around slower. Oh, this was her living room. She looked down…and she had her clothes on. She was both thankful and disappointed. She took a deep breath and then slowly got off the couch. She sloughed into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. She stared at it longingly as it perked. She then devoured it when it was poured not caring that it burned her throat and tongue. She then trudged groggily up the stairs and into one of the guest rooms. She thought about taking the master bedroom for like two seconds but at as she lay there in the bed, she thought about the fact that her parents…well her mom and her sperm donor had got it on in that bed and the idea made her want to wretch. So she picked the bedroom next to the bathroom. There were clothes everywhere. She grabbed a towel and after a cursory sniff, she was satisfied and picked out a pair of blue jeans and a lavender sweater with her favorite pair of motorcycle boots. She looked outside and grimaced. She hoped the rain held off today and made a mental note to go rent a car tomorrow. The drowned rat look was out this season.

She stumbled to the bathroom and entered it, throwing her clothes off until she was in her bra and panties. She went to the mirror to see how bad the damage was. She wiped the condensation off of it and examined herself. She went to brush her hair back when she paused.

Why was there condensation on the mirror…wait…it was hot in here…steamy even, as if the shower had been…

Meredith slowly glanced to her left. She saw the outline of a person. Oh shit. She froze in horror and then looked around her again. Was she in the right house?

The door opened and she gasped.

_Oh my fucking shit_, was the thought that ran through her mind.

Well that… and he was hung like a fucking horse or a money making porn star.

_Come to Mama…_

* * *

Derek turned off the shower and begin to dry off. He sniffed slightly and swore he smelled coffee being brewed. But that was impossible…unless Addison or Mark had come in and made themselves comfortable. Maybe Addison wanted to make up from last night's argument. He opened the door and stepped out. He heard a gasp and slowly looked up.

Oh my god and heaven above. He focused first on a small pair of perfectly manicured feet, toenails purple in color…up to shapely lithe legs…then on a pair of lacey white panties which left nothing to the imagination…a flat abdomen…matching bra to the panties, holding beautiful breasts that were aching to fall out of the cups…perfect shoulders…a lickable clavicle…and…

What the fuck?

Holy crap!

Meredith Grey's eyes were focused on one thing and one thing only…his penis, which thankfully was hard. Thank you, God, for morning wood and impure thoughts of the woman standing before him.

He finally came to his senses.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He bellowed.

Meredith jumped. She had forgotten he was there; she was so focused on his cock…his magnificent ten inch cock that was screaming her name.

He snapped his fingers at her.

"I'm up here Meredith." He reprimanded, wrapping his towel around him.

She focused her glassy eyes on his face, which had several emotions flitting across them.

Amusement, embarrassment, horror and lust.

Oh yeah, he wanted her. If his face wasn't a clue then his penis was. She smirked inwardly.

'Meredith?" He admonished.

"I'm sorry, what?" She asked.

"I asked, what the hell are you doing here?" He asked again.

"I could ask you the very same thing Derek." She said.

"Excuse me, this is my house." He informed her.

"No, it is mine. I have been living here for the past week." She informed him.

"I have been living here for two years. So, I will ask again. What are you doing in my house?" He said slowly, getting angrier.

"And I will tell you again smartass…this is my house. As in my mom owns it and told me I could live here for the duration of my stay."

"I lease this house from EKG Inc not your mother." He hissed.

"Ellis Katherine Grey." She said simply.

Derek pinched his nose with his fingers and cursed.

Meredith's eyes went wide.

"Wow, I didn't think you had that in you. I'm impressed." She said sassily.

He went to run his other hand through his hair and when he did, he almost lost his towel. He hurriedly caught it and wrapped it more securely around his waist.

"Don't bother covering yourself on my account. I really don't mind." She said, smiling.

"So let me get this straight…you have been living here for the past week and you didn't think anything was amiss? Did you not see the furnishings and the food and the clothes?"

"I just thought my mother had taken care of things for me…and really do you call that food? That shit is for hikers and campers…I mean seriously, who the fuck eats Muesli?" She asked.

"I do…I eat that 'shit', I live in this house and right now I am getting ready for work. Go to whatever room you are staying in…" He paused. "Please tell me you didn't fuck anyone in my bed."

Meredith laughed but stopped when she saw the look on his face. She cleared her throat.

"I did have company one night…but…he was…lacking...so I sent him home." She looked him up and down. "Now you…definitely don't have that problem." She licked her lips.

Derek felt himself blush and he looked away from her before she caught him ogling. He was also sporting one massive hard on. He thought of Addison and was confused when he went semi flaccid. That was probably not a good thing.

"I'm just going to go finish getting ready in my other bathroom, you can have this one. I will see you at work." He fled before she could say anything.

Meredith watched him go, catching a glimpse of his firm ass. Damn it all to hell, he looked good coming and going. She licked her lips and chuckled out loud.

Looks like she had herself a roommate.


	7. What Do I Do?

_Chapter 7: What Do I Do?_

"So, let me get this straight. Grey, the hottest chick either of us has ever met, walked in on you in the shower, saw your cock, informed you that the house you have been living in is actually hers and you saw her in her lingerie?" Mark summed up what Derek had just told him.

Derek nodded and took a sip of his coffee. They were walking up the stairs to the third floor. Mark was a prick most times, but he usually had good advice.

"So what do I do?" Derek asked him.

"Fuck her…upside down, right side up, against the wall, the door, the shower…" Mark suggested.

"You are utterly useless." Derek spat out.

"Man, what do you want me to tell you? She is hot and obviously interested…why I don't know. I am willing and available. Maybe you should invite me over tonight…"

"I don't think so." Derek automatically said.

"Why not? You are with Addie. You can get me in good with Grey." Mark told him.

"She is not interested in you." Derek said, his voice ringing with finality.

Mark looked at him and suddenly his eyes widened.

"You are interested in her." He accused.

"What? I am not."

"Yes you are."

"No I am not…I just…and she's so…and I am having a hard time…" He protested.

"I just bet it is hard. You are full of secret feelings and shit. That is so sweet…bet the Ice Princess won't think so." Mark smirked.

"I hate you." Derek said.

"No you don't…you hate you. What a choice you have…the Hot Tamale or the Cold Fish…personally I like the heat, but it is not for everyone." Mark said as he walked in the opposite direction from Derek, chuckling the whole way.

God, he was getting a headache, he thought caressing his temples.

* * *

Meredith practically skipped into the fellow's locker. Cristina raised an eyebrow at her and Meredith just grinned.

"What the fuck has your panties soaked?" Cristina asked.

"I don't wear panties." Meredith said automatically.

"Really?" Alex asked hopefully.

"Yes, really." She confirmed.

"Will you marry me?" Alex asked her, fluttering his eyelashes.

Meredith laughed.

"Hell no."

"Fuck me?" Alex leaned closer.

"Fuck no." She grinned widely.

"It doesn't hurt to ask." Alex commented.

Cristina slapped him upside his head and returned her attention to Meredith.

"So why the hell are you so happy?" She asked getting back to the subject at hand.

"I get to cut today, I had fun last night with all you wonderful peeps and I discovered something big about my house I didn't know." Meredith informed them, smirking.

"And what is that?" Alex asked.

"Nuh uh…" She singsong. "That is for me to know and for you to not find out." She smirked and threw her shirt off revealing her hot pink bra.

Silence in the locker room. Cristina looked around in disgust at all the males drooling.

"Do I need to get you all spit buckets?" She asked annoyed.

"Don't hate her cause she is hot." A Plastics fellow named Pierce said.

"I am hot, I could do hot in my sleep. She is just fresh meat." Cristina spat back. Meredith winked at her.

"You are plenty hot Yang; I would so do you." She said, licking her lips.

"Oh God Jesus yes, please let me watch." Alex begged.

"You are such a perv." Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Nope just a healthy heterosexual male who is interested in a threesome." Alex shot back.

"Oh ew…" Izzie said, coming into the locker room. George followed looking so much more relaxed than he had last night.

Meredith looked at the clock and then at them.

"Stevens, O'Malley you are late." She barked.

They froze and swallowed hard.

"I…um…we…the elevator was full…and we took the stairs…we…it won't happen…sorry." They stammered.

Meredith burst out in laughter.

"I am just fucking with you. Relax." She told them.

"That was so not funny Mer." Izzie said.

"Aw…you love me." Meredith told me.

Izzie huffed.

"I love you." Alex told her.

"You are not watching me have sex with Yang." Meredith told him.

"Shit. Just suck all the life out of someone Grey." He pouted.

"I try." She smirked.

"You give head too? And you have a rocking tattoo? You are the perfect woman." He got on his knees and bowed to her.

"Tattoo?" Izzie asked.

"Yeah." Meredith said, turning around so they could see the shooting stars that trailed from her shoulder to her flank in colors that ranged from pink, silver and black.

"Ooh…pretty." George said wonderingly.

They all spared him a glance.

"Is he always this…relaxed…in the morning?" Meredith asked.

"No only after he gets laid…which has happened about five times in the past seven years." Alex smirked.

"Shut it Crotch eater." George muttered.

"Yep…say it loud, say it proud." Alex admitted.

"You all need psychiatric help." Meredith informed them loudly. "Now, if you are done ogling my goodies, can we get to work please?"

Alex stood up and saluted.

"Ma'am, yes ma'am." He barked out sarcastically.

Everyone laughed.

"You are such an idiot Karev." Meredith shook her head.

She checked her watch and cringed. She was going to be late if she didn't hurry. She quickly finished changing and bolted out the door almost knocking down a poor old man tittering along the hallway.

"Oops sorry Gramps." She said. He looked offended until he saw her kind smile and her wink.

"Pardon me miss." He said with a nod of his head and he kept on going.

Meredith smiled to herself and then hurried.

Now if she only knew where the fuck she was hurrying too.

She had forgotten to ask directions.


	8. What Was That?

_Chapter 8: What Was That?_

Derek looked at his watch pointedly when Meredith rushed in.

"You're late Dr. Grey." He informed her.

"Sorry sir, I…forgot to ask directions to this department." She blushed.

Derek forgot to breathe for a moment.

He cleared his throat and nodded.

"It is fine this time, next time please give yourself enough time to get here."

She nodded respectfully and turned to attention to the patient and her family who were staring at her appearance.

"Hi, I am Dr. Meredith Grey but you can call me Meredith." She said smiling widely at them.

Mrs. Buckner looked at Derek.

"This is one of Taylor's doctors? Why she can't be more than twenty-five and…" She began talking in a stage whisper. "…she has pink hair."

Meredith bit her tongue. She hated to have stereotypes put on her. Yes, she looked different, but she was a doctor for crying out loud.

"I assure you ma'am that I am very good at my job, pink hair or not. I am also twenty-seven. If that little piece of information leaves this room, I will be forced to kill you all." She joked.

Taylor, a beautiful young woman with brown hair, smiled.

"Wow you are like…old." She teased.

Meredith threw her head back and laughed.

"Compared to you, I guess I am. How old are you?" She asked.

"Fifteen. I would like to make it to sixteen if it isn't too much trouble." She said nervously.

Meredith took the chart gently from Derek and leafed through it.

"Let's see…you have a tumor pressed against your temporal lobe which is causing you to have seizures and migraines…presented five months ago and is being very aggressive." She looked at Taylor. "I can promise you sixteen and a half." She teased.

Taylor laughed.

"I guess that is better than nothing." She said.

Meredith reached over and patted her hand and then glanced at the parents.

"Philip, Carol…do you have any questions before we proceed?"

"Yes, will you be doing the surgery?" Philip asked anxiously.

"No, though I will be assisting. Dr. Shepherd is an excellent doctor from what I have heard, and you are very lucky to have him operating on your daughter. Taylor we will see you in a bit…I will be the one in way too many clothes and Dr. Shepherd will be the one with these funny eyeglasses." She leaned in closer to Taylor. "You won't think he is so hot then I promise." She whispered.

Taylor blushed and giggled.

Meredith stood back up and saw that everyone in the medical community in the room was staring at her.

"What?" She barked.

Most of them looked anywhere but at her. She shook her head and then walked out ahead of them. They all went about their duties when they left. Derek stopped beside her in the hallway and looked at her.

"You can take a picture, it lasts longer." She sniped. "You know for your spank bank later on."

Derek shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"What was that in there?" He asked.

"What was what?'

"That…bonding thing…she hasn't said more than two words since she was admitted yesterday." He said amazed.

Meredith shrugged.

"When are we scrubbing in?" She asked, diverting the attention away from her.

"In an hour." He paused. "About this morning…"

Meredith looked around her looking for a…A ha! She grabbed Derek's arm and escorted him to the stairwell.

He anxiously looked around for signs of life. When he was satisfied, they were alone, he turned to Meredith.

"You were saying…" She prompted.

"We shouldn't be in here alone Dr. Grey." He said.

"Dr. Grey? This morning it was Meredith." She teased.

"Dr. Grey, we should forget about this morning." He said firmly.

"Forget what? Me seeing Cockzilla or me seeing your ass, because both are fond memories that I would like to hang on to."

"There will be no memories. That can't happen again. I'm your boss, no wait…you are my boss…shit!" Derek protested, thrusting a hand through his luscious locks.

Meredith looked at him straight on, her eyebrow raised.

"Stop looking at me like that!" He exclaimed.

"Like what?" She asked heatedly.

"Like you've seen me naked."

Meredith smirked.

"But I have seen you naked. That is not something a girl in her right mind can forget."

"Dr. Grey, this is unprofessional, have you ever thought of that?" Derek asked.

Meredith cocked her head to the side and pretending to think it over.

"Yep, I've thought of it and let me tell you…I really don't give a flying fuck." She said, grinning.

Derek groaned and pinched his finger on the bridge of his nose.

"I really don't need this right now."

Meredith looked at Derek, really looked at him. He had dark circles under his eyes, and he looked stressed. She sighed.

"Fine, I will get out of your way then, I will check into a hotel tonight, but I am scrubbing in with you today." She said as she walked around him to leave.

Derek grabbed her arm and quickly dropped it as if shocked. He looked down at his tingling hand.

Meredith rubbed her arm.

"You shocked me." She mumbled.

"Sorry." He whispered.

Meredith nodded and turned away.

"Wait! You don't have to leave your house. I will stay at Addie's." He told her.

Meredith nodded mutely and walked out the door.

Derek watched her until she was out of his sight and resisted the urge to go after her. He was afraid he had hurt her feelings. She just came on so strong. He wasn't used to women like her. Meredith had no qualms about speaking her mind. He decided he liked it. It was a nice change from what he was used to. Addison was so…so…high maintenance and demanding and Meredith was so self-assured and easy going, though she lacked a filter. She just said and did what she wanted; consequences be damned. He smiled a little when he thought of her in his lap the night before and then the look on Addison's face when she saw the blond little wisp of a woman on him. He paused, cursed and then looked down at his suddenly tight pants.

Great…just what he needed.


	9. Denial

_Chapter 9: Denial_

"So, what's up?" Cristina asked as she plopped down in the chair in Mer's office.

Meredith looked up from her own lunch.

"I don't know what you mean." Meredith feigned ignorance.

"Yeah, sure you don't." Cristina smirked.

"Why don't you tell me what you think you know?" Meredith challenged.

"Okay, well hypothetically…there is this new rockin babe here who just happens to be our boss and she has three of the department heads in a fury…one wants to kill her and two want to fuck her senseless. One of those two however has a girlfriend, the one who wants to kill her, and the other is a six-inch diseased manwhore…which is really sad and disappointing…anyway…the one who has a girlfriend apparently had an interesting bathroom encounter this morning. Now, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?" Cristina asked innocently.

"I might." Meredith answered.

"How did you two end up in the same house? Did you go home with him?"

"No. I went home alone as sad as that is. Apparently, someone mixed up the lease dates and he is still living in my house." Meredith sighed.

"So you two are like roommates or shit?" Cristina blurted out.

"Technically. However, Mr. Morals isn't going to stand for it…he is probably afraid I'll steal his virtue."

Cristina snorted.

"So, is he leaving?"

"Yes. He is going to 'stay' at FireCrotch's lair. Whatever, I offered to go to a hotel." Meredith shrugged.

Cristina scrutinized her carefully. Meredith swept her hair in front of her face.

"You like him." Cristina accused.

"I do not." Cristina looked at her pointedly. "Okay fine…I could like him. It doesn't matter anyway, he is with Ms. Frigid, but you know what I don't get? Why does she look like an unsatisfied hag when she has that at home?"

"What do you mean?" Awareness washed over her face. "Oh…wait…Brainless Brain Man is packing?"

"Oh yeah." Meredith said, gesturing with her hand to demonstrate just how big.

Cristina's mouth flew open.

"Maybe they don't have sex." Cristina said.

Meredith snorted.

"Oh please bitch…she is an insipid little twit, but she doesn't strike me as dumb. She is hitting that. I know I would…he wouldn't remember his name if I got my hands on him nor would he be able to walk straight."

"Neither would you." Cristina smirked.

"Yeah." Meredith sighed. "Oh well, not going to happen. Want to go out tonight and try to score?"

"Nah…have a 'date' with Major Hottie as you call him. He really liked that last night during sex. I had to make him forget your little performance on Little Owen."

"TMI." Meredith grimaced.

"So I hear they are calling you the Patient Whisperer." Cristina said, changing the subject.

"Yeah I heard they were saying that." Meredith groaned.

"What's up with that shit?"

"Apparently Taylor wouldn't talk to anyone since she got here yesterday."

"But she talked to you?"

"Yeah." Meredith shrugged.

"Why?"

"Because I am like totally awesome." Meredith said, doing a perfect imitation of a valley girl. She sighed. "I don't know if you have noticed or not, but I don't look like the typical doctor. I guess the younger people always relate to me better. I always wore this get up when I was working with the Peds cases."

"You mean, you don't always look like this?"

Meredith laughed.

"Oh god no. My mom would lay an egg if I walked into her prestigious hospital looking like this. I was very sneaky on Peds days. I normally have no pink in my hair, I rarely wear makeup and my clothes are not always so…revealing. I am actually quite plain at work. When I play however…"

"Nice." Cristina gave her a thumbs up. "So how many people have you slept with?"

"Why? Do you want to be included in them?"

"Um…no. Do you do that?"

"Do what? Speak lesbian?"

Cristina nodded.

"I have experimented once or twice…you know threesome type thing."

"Karev would blow a nut if he heard you actually admit it."

"I wonder what he would do for video footage." Meredith gloated.

"He would stalk your ass day and night."

"Better not tell him then." Meredith laughed.

Cristina got up to go back to work.

"If you really like him, don't let Frigid Bitch get in your way." She advised.

"Get back to work Yang." Meredith demanded, irritated. She didn't share secret feelings like a girl.

"Who is going to make me?"

"I am your boss." Meredith reminded her.

"Not today you're not. Today you are a fellow along with the rest of us. God, I live for your non admin days." Cristina grinned.

"Get. Out. Now." Meredith seethed.

Cristina laughed and exited the office.

Denial was not only a river in Egypt, she thought. It was Meredith Grey's state of mind.


	10. What the Hell?

_Chapter 10: What the Hell?_

Meredith looked at Derek and nodded her head in thanks. They were scrubbing out from operating on a hit and run victim and all looked good with the patient at that point. Derek had let Meredith do the procedure by herself, so he could see what she was made of. She was brilliant. She put her whole heart and soul into the operation, and he could tell that failure was not an option with her. She would fight death and win nine times out of ten.

"You want to get a coffee to unwind or maybe something stronger?" She asked, her voice even, her heart hopeful. She didn't want to like this guy and part of her prayed he would say yes so she could find a flaw and half of her hoped he would say no, in case he didn't have one.

"I…I have to get to Addison's. She goes to bed early and I forgot my key. I haven't seen her today to let her know I would be staying with her indefinitely."

"She shouldn't mind. You are moving in with her anyway, right?" She asked, her voice light this time.

He was taken by a woman who had her life in order. That wasn't her by any stretch of the imagination.

"Right." He agreed, finding himself looking at her mouth. She was currently chewing on her lip, which he noticed she did when she was nervous or thoughtful. He wondered which it was right then.

A long silence stretched between them. He found himself moving unconsciously towards her until he was but a breath away from her.

Her breathing hitched and she leaned an inch, her pink tongue darting over her bottom lip.

The door opened, causing them to spring back from each other.

"Hey…am I interrupting?" Mark asked, his eyebrow raised in speculation and what looked like mischief.

Meredith cleared her throat.

"Of course not Dr. Sloan, do you need something?"

"Just need to ask my boy something, but it can wait."

"No, I was just leaving for the day. He's all yours." She looked at Derek and nodded. "Dr. Shepherd."

"Good night, Dr. Grey." Derek said, watching her go.

Mark hit him on his shoulder.

"What do you think you are doing?" Mark asked, shocked.

"I don't know what you mean.' Derek said, washing his hands vigorously.

"Bullshit. You were about to kiss her." Mark accused.

"I was not. You are imagining things. Didn't I tell you that those mushrooms would catch up with you one day?"

"Shut up…I am not imagining anything. If I hadn't of walked in, you would have had her against the wall, fucking her senseless. Good for you."

"I am with Addison. So, go away." Derek said.

"Okay fine I will go, but just one question. Are you reminding me or yourself?" Mark said before leaving Derek alone to ponder that.

The truth was…he had no idea.

* * *

"Addison?" Derek whispered softly. It was late and there were no lights on. Addison always went to bed early, said it was for her beauty sleep. He sighed and pushed his hand through his hair. Two days ago, his life was on track. He knew what he wanted, he knew where he was headed and now…

Meredith had turned his life upside down and she didn't even know it. Or maybe she did and was just playing with him. Either way, he didn't like the doubts plaguing his mind.

He heard a rustle in Addison's bedroom. She was up after all. He wanted her to make him forget about ever meeting Meredith Grey.

"Oh…yeah…just like that…hmmm…"

Derek's brow furrowed. Was she dreaming? About sex? That didn't sound like Addison…at all. She never made noise during sex…hell he didn't even think she enjoyed it. He walked slowly towards her room. He pushed the door open.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

Addison was lying on the bed, dressed in a black see through number and she had a dark haired person between her legs.

A familiar dark haired person of the feminine variety to be exact.

"Oh god…yes…lick it…suck it…you are so good to me Rose baby." She threw her head forward to look at Rose as she was eating her out and caught sight of Derek.

"Oh my God!" Addison shrieked.

"I know Addie." Rose murmured.

"Stop! Derek!"

"What about him?" Rose asked confused, looking at Addison. Addison nodded her head towards a shocked Derek. Rose quickly sat up and wiped her mouth.

"Um…hello Dr. Shepherd." Rose said, cringing. Awkward…

"Rose?" He asked, looking at Addison.

"Yes." Addison said, her chin up.

"How long?"

"A year or so."

"You have been fucking her the whole time you were with me? Seriously?" He asked incredulously.

Addison shrugged but stayed silent, her eyes cold and hard.

He searched their depths for a moment and found no remorse whatsoever.

"So what was I to you?" He asked.

"A cover." She said simply.

Derek nodded.

"Well I can't live like that. We are done." He said.

"You aren't going to tell anyone are you?" Addison asked suddenly.

"That remains to be seen Addison. You have a nice night. I will get my things later, I can't look at either of you right now, but please don't stop on my account."

Derek walked out and a few minutes later, found himself sitting in his car in the driveway of his…Meredith's…house, rain bouncing off the windshield.

He hoped like hell he was welcomed. He didn't have anywhere else he could go.


	11. Come to Mama

_Chapter 11: Come to Mama_

Meredith was puttering around her kitchen making supper. It was a little-known fact that she liked to cook, and she was good at it. She had gotten tired of eating out every night, so she had invested in a cooking class a few years ago and she was pretty proficient in the kitchen. She checked her baked potato and her steak and finished tossing her salad. She sipped her wine and listened to the rain hit the window. It was rather soothing, she thought.

She heard a light knock on the door. She frowned and looked at the clock. Who could that be? She wasn't expecting anyone. Maybe it was for Derek.

She walked to the door and opened it and froze.

It was a dripping wet Derek, wearing a look of defeat and confusion and something else she couldn't put her finger on.

"I saw her and I had to get out of there and I couldn't think of any place else to go." He said, his voice cracking.

Meredith stepped back and motioned for him to come in. He did and stayed on the rug in front of her door, water sluicing off his coat and his hair. His eyes were glazed over and he shook.

Meredith leaped into action, hurrying to the laundry room to get a towel. She got a warm one out of the dryer and turned to go give it to him.

"Oh!" She said, pressing her hand to her rapidly beating heart when she saw him standing in front of her. She handed him the towel. He just held on to it, not moving. Meredith shook her head and removed his coat, throwing it in the hamper. She removed his shirt and did the same. She faltered at his belt.

"Look, I don't know what is wrong with you, but I can't undress you like a child. Okay?"

He didn't say anything.

Meredith gave up and just slapped him.

He blinked at her in confusion.

"What the hell did you do that for?" He asked belligerently.

"Snap out of it!" She exclaimed.

"I'm wet." He remarked, confused.

"So am I." Meredith mumbled quietly so he wouldn't hear. His chest was something to behold. Muscled enough without being showing or steroidal looking, with a spattering of dark hair over his pecs and going down his abdomen leading to his…

"What?"

"Nothing. Look get dried off and into something…else. Are you hungry? I cooked."

"You cooked?" His eyebrow raised in disbelief.

"Is that so hard to believe?"

Derek shook his head mutely and smiled a half smile though it didn't reach his eyes.

"You never cease to amaze me." He said simply.

Meredith blushed. What the fuck? She didn't blush and now all of a sudden, she was like a smitten fucking teenager.

"When you are dressed just go sit at the table." She demanded agitatedly.

Derek walked slowly out of the kitchen and up to his room. At least she guessed it was still his room. She after all hadn't told him to leave. She would share, she was all for the sharing…with him at least. She felt a momentarily pang of remorse for thinking these very lustful and graphic thoughts about a man who was practically married, even if it was the Wicked Bitch of The Northwest.

She looked up when he walked back in, his hair damp and dressed in a pair of cotton pajama bottoms and a dark blue t shirt that brought out the color of his eyes.

_Come to Mama._

She quickly shook her head and busied herself halving the steak and potato. She put the salad and wine on the table followed by the wine glasses, utensils and their plates. She sat down across from him but stayed silent. He would tell her what was up when he wanted to. She wouldn't pry. She understood the need for privacy.

She dug into her dinner. She noticed he just sat there, with a weird look on his face she couldn't identify.

"You should eat." She said instead and turned her attention back to her meal.

Derek started laughing and Meredith looked up, surprised. What the hell?

"God…I just…the look on her face when I…and she was with…I was a cover." He gasped out in between spurts of laughter.

Oh so the expression on his face was…mirth.

"I'm sorry…what?"

"I walked into Addison's unlocked apartment tonight and discovered that she was having an affair and she told me she had been since we started dating." Derek said, wiping the tears from his laughter.

Meredith's expression turned stormy.

She threw down her fork.

"That bitch was cheating on you?" She yelled.

"Yeah, I guess I wasn't desirable enough for her." He shrugged with a hurt expression on his face.

"Then she is stupid." Meredith said, looking him directly in his eyes.

"Really?"

"I have wanted to fuck you since I met you yesterday."

"And what? You are normally picky?" He asked, disbelievingly.

"Ass. And here I was trying to make you feel better." Meredith hissed. She picked her plate up and stalked over to the sink and threw it in there. It broke on impact. She braced her arms on either side of the counter and looked down, struggling to calm herself down.

She was promiscuous, she knew that. She didn't 'do' relationships. Too much margin for error in her opinion.

"I'm sorry, that was uncalled for." She jumped at his proximity. She hadn't heard him walk over to her.

"Yes it was. I am going to go to bed. Please rinse your plate out and put it in the dishwasher."

She felt his eyes piercing into her back as she walked away.

* * *

An hour later, she heard him pacing the hallway in front of her door. She tried to focus on her book but gave up after twenty minutes…it was that annoying.

She wrenched the door open.

"What do you want?" She asked, exasperated.

He froze as he looked at her.

She looked down at herself…hot pink lacy boy shorts and matching cami…what was the big deal?

"Wow." He breathed.

"You look like you have never seen lingerie before."

"Not like that." He gasped.

Meredith stifled a laugh and chanced a look down. Yep, he was hard as a rock. He so wanted her.

"Well, if you are done gawking at me, is there something I can do for you?" She retorted.

What? She had to make him work for it.

He looked down into her eyes and then to her mouth…he did that several times before he threw himself at her, slamming his mouth onto hers. His hand wound to the back of her neck to hold her head in place against the fierce onslaught. His weight made her stumble into the doorjam. She barely noticed the pain. She was too focused on his mouth. His hot mouth and his heavy breathing. He tasted like mint and coffee and something else she couldn't identify. She sucked his tongue into her mouth and massaged it with her own. He moaned. Good God, he moaned. She felt her arousal soak through her panties and drip down her leg. She raised her leg and wrapped it around his waist, balanced herself and then brought the other one up until he was holding her up. She felt his throbbing arousal pulse at her abdomen. She pressed into it.

He gasped and threw his head back.

"Slow down." He warned.

She grabbed his hair and yanked him until he was looking at her.

"No. I am going to. Fuck. You. So. Hard." She emphasized.

She saw him gulp.

"Walk to the bed." She demanded.

He did as he was told.

"Good boy." She crooned.

His eyes narrowed.

She smirked.

She slid down his body and pushed him down on the bed.

"Show me yours and I will show you mine." She teased.

Derek smiled nervously and slipped his shirt off.

Meredith smiled and took her camisole off, letting it fall to the floor.

Derek swallowed.

"Pants."

"What?" He asked, his voice throaty.

She smiled and pulled at his pants.

"Get rid of these."

He stood up and slipped his pants down quickly, leaving them pooled at his feet. She slid down his body and untangled them from his legs.

He gazed down at her, at her tousled blond and pink hair, her pert full breasts rubbing on his upper thighs. She looked up then, her eyes twinkling…and mischievous. Her tongue darted out and licked the underside of his shaft. His eyes closed and he swayed. He focused on not letting his knees buckle. Um…yeah, not working.

"Mer…"

"Hmmm…" She mumbled, her mouth full of…well…him.

"Have to sit down." He moaned.

She let go of him with an audible 'pop'.

"What's wrong?"

"No…nothing. Knees…legs…" He gasped.

Understanding filled her eyes and her mouth twitched.

"How long has it been…you know, since you have had…oral?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

"Ne…never." He stuttered, his face red.

"Aw…you are a virgin." She teased. "Let me change that…right now."

She swooped back in and sucked with a vengeance. He gasped, moaned, groaned and even panted as she worked her mouth, tongue and throat. She gave head like she had an hour to live and this was the last cock she would get to suck.

He enjoyed it too.

"I'm…shit…Meredith…I…stop."

Meredith's answer was to suck harder.

"God damn…shit…fuck." Derek yelled as he came in her mouth.

Meredith smiled around his cock as his essence slid down her throat.

A real woman swallowed…

"That was…just…wow." Derek gasped.

Meredith giggled and stood up. Derek took that opportunity to pull her to him, so her breasts were eye level. He tentatively pulled a nipple into his warm cavern and suckled. She threw her head back. His hands slid up and down her back as he turned his attention to her other breast. His hands came down and slipped under her panties, resting on her firm ass and squeezed. She gasped and gripped his hair harder. He slipped her panties down her legs, stood and lifted her up and laid her on the bed. He parted her knees and slid in between them. He breathed in her arousal and hesitantly licked up her slit. Meredith's hips buckled and he held them down and continued working her into a panting, gasping mess. He added two fingers and pushed them in and out while sucking on her clit.

"Fuck me…god…you are good…at that…shit…Jesus CHRIST!" She yelled when she came, all over his mouth and tongue. He rapidly moved up her body and slid home.

Meredith screamed. God he was fucking huge. It was a mixture of pleasure and pain…good pain…really fucking good pain. He kissed her fiercely. She held him to her as they moved in tandem, both of them ready to explode, neither wanting it to end.

Unfortunately, their bodies could not hold back and they both screamed as they came, their bodies shaking and sweating. Derek collapsed on top of Meredith, spent from the single most erotic sexual experience of his life…which hadn't lasted any longer than fifteen minutes. He was kind of embarrassed about that.

"Don't be." She said, sleepily.

"What?"

"Embarrassed."

"Did I say that out loud?"

"No, but I can read your face. Besides you have a great excuse…you have been repressed your whole life. Now it is time for you to live a little. Hmmm…sleepy."

She closed her eyes and was out.

Derek smiled down at her, as her light snores emitted from her delectable mouth.

Live a little huh? Right now, in this instance, he didn't see a thing wrong with her way of thinking.

He cuddled closer to her, closed his eyes and joined her in slumber.


	12. I Am Not Dating You

_Chapter 12: I Am Not Dating You_

Damnit…shit…fuck…where the hell did that fucking pen go?" She yelled as she crawled around on the floor looking for it.

Twenty thousand goddamn dollars to decorate this ugly fucking office…which looked like shit…and no one could think to buy a dollar pack of pens? And to top it off…she had lost the one she had borrowed…okay, stole…from that horse toothed nurse at Station three.

Just the perfect cap to her morning. After she had bolted out of bed, she had rushed to get out of the house she was now apparently sharing with the guy who had fucked her senseless…not once, not twice, but three times. The guy was insatiable. He had woken her up at one, then three to make her scream his name and God's name, which were apparently now synonymous with each other. Her throat hurt, her legs hurt, and her pussy hurt. Not that she was complaining. The guy was a repressed Sex God. He was also a relationship kind of guy and she so wasn't. A relationship girl that was. Okay keep up with the thought process people.

Which is why she had left.

She didn't want to see his face when she told him she didn't date…ever. It would be like telling someone they could take the stripper of their choice home and then finding out that she was a he.

So, she was avoiding.

Now, she was avoiding while searching for a pen under her desk.

"Now that is a view I could get used to."

Meredith whipped her head up.

"Shit…fuck…god damnit to hell…!" She yelled when her head made contact with her desk.

"Did that hurt?" Derek asked, leaning casually in her office doorway.

"Don't you knock?" She retorted.

"The door was open." He commented.

"Well, close it." She demanded, getting up and walking back around her desk.

She heard the door close and she sighed in relief.

That was abruptly caught off when his hands swept her hair to the side.

"Black?" He asked.

She shivered slightly.

"Yeah, the pink is interchangeable. The…uh…joys of clip in extensions…I'm in a…oh God…dark mood today." She told him, as his lips brushed against her neck, his breath a warm caress.

"I like the pink better." He told her.

She stepped away from him.

"Well, it's my hair, now isn't it?" She said.

His eyebrow raised at her snippy tone.

"Are we PMSing?" He teased.

"You would know the answer to that, now wouldn't you?" She said, her own eyebrow raised.

"Yes, I do." He smirked.

The fucker smirked? She didn't think he knew how to.

"We need to talk about that. I don't know how to say this, so I am just going to say it, okay? I don't do relationships…at all. I am a fuck em and leave em kind of gal. And I don't do repeats. So, us having sex three times last night was a first for me. I know you live with me and you can stay there as long as you want, but I am not going to date you and I am not going to sleep with you either…again…as fun and as hot as it was…okay?" She finished up her ramble and drew in a deep breath. She had forgotten to breathe as she spewed her word vomit.

Derek's eyes were a dark blue. He took a step towards her and another. She backed up and he moved closer until her back-hit wood…and so did her front. She looked down at his pants and back up to his eyes, which were now dark and twinkling.

"What did I just say?" She demanded.

"You don't date or 'double dip' with your one-night stands." He summarized simply.

"Oh…yeah. So, can you back up?"

"No. I like you cornered. Makes it much easier to do this." He said the instance before his mouth devoured hers. He slid his hands around her waist and lifted her up on the desk, sliding in between her legs and grinding into her. She threw her head back and he drug it back to his mouth. He thrust his tongue in and explored every inch of her warm cavern. He removed one of his hands and thrust it into her blond and black hair, pulling her head back and nipping at her neck and down to her breasts. She gripped his own hair tightly as she arched her back. His nimble fingers had her pants already unbuttoned and halfway down her legs before she realized it.

She should make him stop.

He licked her inner thigh.

No…he was good where he was.

Her pants were history and so were her panties…once he ripped them.

Meredith hissed.

"You will pay for those."

"I always pay my debts." He winked and thrust his tongue into her pussy and her thought process flew out the fucking window.

_Oh yeah baby…work…pay those debts._

Her eyes rolled back into her head and she tightened her legs around his head, holding him in place.

He wasn't going anywhere.

Her orgasm hit her like a freight train, her screaming pierced her own ears. She loosened her hold on his head, grabbed his hair to make him stand up, loosened his scrub tie and yanked pants and boxers down to his ankles. She wrapped her legs around his waist and used her heels to push him into her.

"God you are so fucking tight. You strangle my cock so good." Derek groaned.

Meredith looked at him in surprise.

Derek was a closet freak.

Lucky her.

He rammed into her over and over, his skin slapping onto hers. He reached behind her and swept the items onto the floor and laid her back on her desk. He unhooked her legs and placed them on his shoulders and sped up his pace.

Oh! My! Fucking! God!

Meredith panted and screamed and yelled and cursed.

"Fuck me harder! Oh God…you are a fucking sex God…I want to cum all over your hard-massive cock!"

He pummeled into her harder and she came in a hot intense rush. He picked up his pace and followed soon after with a roar. He pulled her into his arms and fell back into her desk chair.

They struggled to regain their breath.

A soft knock sounded at the door.

"Um…Dr. Grey? Is everything...alright…in there?" A female voice asked through the door.

"Never better." Was Meredith's answer.

Derek chuckled.

"Still say we can't continue this?" He asked.

Meredith groaned and thought about it.

"Fine we can fuck, but I am not dating you. Deal?"

"Deal." Derek agreed, with a look in his eyes she didn't altogether trust.

"Now get out. You are interrupting my paperwork. Well once I find my pen." She grumbled.

He pulled something from the place above her left ear.

"You mean, this pen?"

She glanced at it and then at him in confusion.

"Well fuck!" She exclaimed.

"Yes, yes we did." He agreed.

"Get out Shepherd!" She demanded. He got up and righted his clothes. He hesitated at the door.

"I can't wait until tomorrow.'

"What's tomorrow?" She asked.

"Tomorrow I get to be the boss." And then he was gone, grinning at Angela her assistant when he left. She heard him whistling down the hall.

"Well shit, I have created a monster."


	13. The Pipes Are Bursting

_Chapter 13: The Pipes Are Bursting_

"Honey, I'm home!"

Meredith rolled her eyes and continued mixing the spaghetti. She felt arms enclose her.

"Something smells good in here." He kissed her neck and went to wash up. "Need any help?"

"Yeah, you can set the table and open the wine." She said.

"Gladly."

In minutes, they were sitting down and eating.

"This is really good." He complimented her.

Something was wrong with this conversation. She couldn't put her finger on it though.

"So how was your day dear?"

She raised her eyebrows. This felt oddly…domestic.

_Oh. Hell. No._

She looked at him.

He smirked.

She threw a piece of garlic bread at him.

"Ass!"

He laughed at her.

"It is a nice ass, isn't it?" He said, shifting in his seat to look at it.

Meredith shrugged.

"I've seen nicer." She said.

Derek raised an eyebrow.

She sighed.

"Fine, it's a nice ass." She conceded.

"Thank you."

"So…" She trailed off.

"So?"

"How are we going to do this?"

"This, what?"

"This…" She gestured between the two of them.

"Oh we can do it anyway you want too." He said eagerly.

"You are like a teenager who lost his virginity. Now all you think about it sex." Meredith grumbled. "A vagina isn't like a penis, it has to have more than a two-hour recovery time."

He looked at his watch.

"Well, it's been…eight hours and thirty-two minutes." He looked at her expectantly.

"No." She said, getting up and loading her empty plate in the dishwasher. "Good night Derek."

"Good night Meredith." He said, nodding his head to her as she left.

Something told her not to trust that look.

* * *

"Meredith!"

She jumped out of bed and ran to the top of the stairs.

"What's wrong?" She yelled down.

"This pipe is about to bust. I need help." He yelled back up.

"Do I look like a plumber?" She muttered.

She came down the stairs and froze in the doorway.

Derek was bent over, his worn denim hugging his firm backside, fiddling with something under the sink.

"A little help here?" He asked.

"What am I supposed to do? Call a plumber." She demanded.

He stood up and smiled wickedly at her. Before she knew it, he had gripped her waist and lifted her up on the counter.

"What are you doing? Fix the fucking pipes."

"Oh, those pipes are okay." He said flippantly.

"What?" Her eyes narrowed.

He took her hand and placed it on the hard bulge in his pants.

"Now this 'pipe' is about to burst, and I would rather it bust in you then in a towel or down the drain." He looked at her knowingly.

Shit, how did he know she was going to tell him to jerk off?

"Do I look like your friendly twenty-four-hour rent-a-fuck?" She asked.

Derek cocked his head and smiled crookedly.

How the hell did he do that?

Make her gush with a single fucking look.

"I'm not in the mood Shepherd." She informed him.

His hand disappeared into her panties and he dipped his fingers in her still gushing core. Smiling knowingly, he brought them out and sucked on them.

_Guh.__  
_  
Thought process gone.

He looked into her dazed eyes.

"You feel ready and you definitely taste ready." He told her seductively. He forced her to raise her hips and removed the offending garment all the while holding her gaze, challenging her to refute his claim.

Of course, she wouldn't. She couldn't. The scent of her arousal hung in the air while dripping down her legs.

He caressed her inner thigh with his nose, alternating sniffing and licking up her leg. Her eyes rolled back in her head…again. She was thinking they should just stay there.

_Holy. Fucking. Shit. Damn._

His tongue was sliding in her wetness along her slit and stopping to put pressure on her clit. Her mouth was opened in a permanent 'O' as he worked her to her…well…'O'. No sound dared emerge from her in fear he would stop.

She didn't want him to stop.

Ever.

Where the hell did that thought come from?

He stiffened his tongue and entered it into her dripping wet channel. She instinctively tightened around him. He gripped her hips to bring her closer to him. She gripped his hair and pulled. She felt, rather than heard, his chuckle. It sent delicious vibrations into her girly parts.

Finally she had had enough. She pulled hard enough to get his attention.

"Fuck me now." She demanded.

"Yes, ma'am." He swiftly unbuckled his belt and slid his pants down around his ankles. He positioned himself and slid home. Meredith's head flew back, and her body arched into him. He furiously pumped into her causing her to have to grip the edge of the counter or get fucked off of it. That caused them to slam into each other each time.

Hmmm…pleasure mixed with pain. Now this was sex she could get behind.

_Ooh, sex from behind…_

He twisted his hand into her hair while he fucked her harder. She felt the familiar tightening in her lower abdomen that signaled her approaching orgasm. Her walls began to pulse and grip his penis tighter.

"Look at me!" He demanded when her eyes fluttered closed. They popped open at his order.

"I want to see you…all of you…when you cum for me." He explained, panting, sweat popping out on his brow.

All she could do was nod as her orgasm hit her hard. She screamed and panted and gasped her way through it.

He had slowed down, holding his own orgasm off. They had had sex twice previously and each time he didn't get to watch her. He was too wrapped up in his own pleasure.

Boy he had been missing out. She was beautiful as it was, but when she was in the throes of pleasure, she was gorgeous.

She gripped his face, bringing him back into himself and looked at him curiously.

"What's wrong?" She panted.

"You are breathtaking." He said reverently.

She blushed.

"Are you going to finish anytime soon?" She asked sassily to deflect the very emotional feelings he made her feel. Damn him!

Derek chuckled.

"You don't just want to stay like this?" He teased.

"How would we explain that at work? 'Hey, we got stuck together while fucking but we are really good at our jobs. See you in twenty minutes to cut open your head.'?" Yeah, don't think that would go over really well." She deadpanned.

"That would work." He agreed.

"Derek! Will you mo...VE!" She finished in a shriek as he pulled out and flipped her over.

_Oh Hell Yes!_

He slammed back inside her and Meredith screamed. He pummeled into her over and over until she was cumming…again. Meredith almost lost consciousness during that orgasm. She was vaguely aware of Derek grunting in her ear and he sprayed her walls with his seed. Thank god for birth control. They collapsed like that, half naked, sweaty, panting, gasping messes.

He finally eased his flaccid penis out of her now aching core. She turned over slowly and winced, She sat up and swept her messy hair out of her face. She snuck a look at him. God, even soft, he was bigger than some of the men she had screwed.

"Like what you see?" He asked.

Meredith blushed again. What the fucking hell? Twenty-seven and not one stupid blush and she had known him for two days…two days!

Meredith shrugged and hopped down off the counter.

"Well…good night…Derek. See you tomorrow." She said in a formal tone.

"Don't forget…tomorrow I am boss."

Meredith cringed; thankful he couldn't see her face as her back was to him. She stiffened, schooled her features and looked back at him, smirking.

"We'll see."

* * *

**What do you guys think so far?**


	14. Let the Torture Begin!

_Chapter 14: Let the Torture Begin!_

I wouldn't want to meet you in a dark alley." Cristina observed as she watched Meredith gulp her coffee down.

"I didn't sleep well last night." Meredith said quietly. And she didn't. She spent the entire night feeling like something was missing. She had almost thrown up when she had finally realized what that something was. One fucking night in his arms and she suddenly couldn't sleep without him? What in God's name was wrong with her? Meredith Grey didn't need anyone.

"Banging holes in the wall with McDreamy?" Cristina said slyly.

"Not last night. We had kitchen sex last night."

"And then?"

"Nothing. I went to bed and I don't know what he did."

"You like him." Cristina singsong. She froze. "Oh God, did I just do that?"

Meredith giggled.

"Yes, I believe you did. Are you so bad at Cardio that you are thinking of going on American Idol?"

"Hey, I am not the owner sleeping with the attending." Cristina retorted.

"No, you are the fellow sleeping with the attending. And I am the owner's daughter."

"Whatever. I am a Cardio God and an attending position is coming open in two months."

"Your point?"

"You are the owner, so put in a word for me."

"I am the owner's daughter." Meredith stressed.

"Whatever! Please? That old bat Hahn hates me!" Cristina begged.

"Hahn? Who is Hahn?"

"Erica Hahn, Head Cardio Bitch."

"Why haven't I met her?" Meredith asked.

Cristina shrugged.

"She was gone the day you got here."

"Tell her I want to see her and page the rest of my minions while you are at it." Meredith instructed.

"It isn't an Admin day."

"So? I'm the boss." Meredith said sassily.

Cristina saluted her.

"Hey, can I be there? You know, so I can watch if you have to take her down a notch?" Cristina pleaded.

"Aren't you a whiny begging mess today?" Cristina continued looking at her with big brown doe eyes. "Ugh…fine. Tell the others they might as well come too. Introduce yourselves and all that."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you. This shit is seven fucking years in the making." Cristina hustled off to get the meeting scheduled.

Yeah, Derek would see who was boss.

* * *

"Sorry to interrupt your schedules…"

Addison snorted and mumbled something that sounded like 'bitch on a power trip'.

Okay, she had about all she could take of Addison.

"As I was saying…something has come to my attention. I have not had the pleasure of meeting our Cardio Thoracic Attending?" Meredith asked instead of stating that fact. She looked at Hahn with an eyebrow raised.

"I was off the day you came here." She informed her.

"And yesterday?" Meredith asked.

"You were playing doctor instead of boss." Hahn said dryly.

"Let's get one thing straight right, now shall we? I am always the boss whether I am 'playing' doctor or not. The only person I will not undermine when I am practicing is Derek, as he is the Neuro Attending. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Dr. Grey." Hahn said through gritted teeth. She noticed the fellows all hovering by the wall. "What are the preschoolers doing here?"

"Oh that is my other announcement…" She paused as her phone beeped.

_New Text Message_

She opened it quickly and her eyes bugged out of her head. She looked up at Derek and then back down at the picture of Derek's penis prominently displayed on her phone.

Derek's very large, very erect penis.

She looked back up at him.

He winked at her.

He fucking _winked_ at her.

"Dr. Grey?" He asked, his voice pure innocent velvet.

"What?" She asked confused. Her panties were soaked and her mind was hazy.

"Your announcement?" He prompted.

She narrowed her eyes at him. She would be getting back at him for that.

"These four esteemed doctors make up my Admin team. So, any problems with your charting or your notes, your patient or staff relation problems they will be coming to discuss them with you." She said smugly.

"What?" Mark hissed.

"No fucking way!" Hahn said.

"You have got to be kidding. This is a joke. You are making a mockery of this hospital." Addison ranted.

Meredith smiled sinisterly.

"That is my decision, now isn't it?" She turned to Bailey. "Do you see a problem with this Bailey?"

Bailey smiled smugly to herself. About time her original interns got to torture their torturers.

"It is your call Meredith."

Meredith turned to everyone.

"See? Now shut up and get back to work. Save a life instead of wasting my time. Dr. Montgomery and Dr. Shepherd please stay behind for a moment."

Everyone filed out and Meredith was in a room alone with Firecrotch and Big Dick Derek.

"Yes, Meredith." Derek said, still sitting casually on his chair, one leg crossed over the other.

She walked over to him and leaned real close to him, aware that Addison was watching suspiciously.

"Just so you know, I prefer the real thing. And also know that will be my screensaver on my phone and my computer here at work."

His eyes widened a little.

"Hmmm…not so brave now huh? Don't play with fire big boy, because you might just get burned. I have been doing this a lot longer than you have."

She straightened up.

"You may go now; I will be there to join you on rounds in a moment." She said formally.

Derek nodded and left the room.

"What the hell is going on with you and Derek?" Addison demanded.

Meredith slowly turned around to look at her.

"It is my understanding that you two are no longer together." She replied.

"Who told you that?"

"Derek…right before he fucked my brains out." Meredith told her.

Addison blanched, her eyes shooting daggers.

"What? Surprised that he moved on so quickly? You must have been starving him. In the past two days, we have fucked like bunnies and I am having trouble walking today. But I can't help myself. He is so…gifted." Meredith gushed.

"I can't believe that he took up with a dirty slut like you."

Meredith shrugged.

"I may be a dirty slut, but you Addison are worse than that. You are a bitch. I let people know up front what they are getting from me, you just lead them on thinking they are going to get something out of it and then you don't deliver."

"What did Derek tell you?" Addison asked.

"He told me you cheated on him."

"Did he say with who?"

"No. And I didn't ask. I don't care. All I know is he came home…"

"Home?"

"Oh didn't he tell you, we are living together." Meredith smiled sweetly.

"You little bitch. If you think I am going to sit back and watch you get everything that is supposed to be mine, then you have another thing coming. Men don't marry their whores. Derek Shepherd is going to marry me. Make no mistake about it." Addison ranted, her chest heaving.

Meredith looked at her, her face not betraying any of her thoughts.

"I am only going to say this one more time, do not undermine my authority. I am your boss and don't forget it. And a piece of friendly advice. Psych is on the fifth floor. Go there and check yourself in. Cause damn girl, you are one delusional bitch. Now get out of my office." Meredith said, effectively dismissing her.

"This isn't over Grey." Addison seethed.

"It is for now."

Addison stalked out.

That girl was one Fruit Loop short of a full bowl of cereal.

She looked down at her phone when it buzzed.

It was a picture of Derek's watch.

Smartass.

She went to the bathroom and shot a few pictures of her own.

Let the torture begin.

* * *

**What are your thoughts?**


	15. I Don't Do Relationships

_Chapter 15: I Don't Do Relationship_

"I'm just saying, you couldn't have put both breasts in the picture? That is like telling me I can have the cupcake or the icing. I want both." Derek whined.

"Shut up Dr. Shepherd or I will make copies of the pics on my phone and hand them out to your new fan club. Is everyone going bat shit around here?" Meredith said referring to the females who had heard about Derek's new relationship status.

"Mark told people I was looking." Derek said rolling his eyes.

"Lookin'. It sounds much dirtier without the 'g'." Mark said, coming up behind him. "Dude, is that a tit?"

Derek quickly shut his phone.

"It is. Is it Addison's cause hers don't look that big…or did you go to a strip joint? Man, I am so proud of you. I didn't think you had it in you." Mark said, slapping Derek on the back. "You should have gotten the whole pair, how are you going to fantasize about just one?"

Derek looked pointedly at Meredith.

Meredith ignored him and played with her phone.

Derek's phone beeped and he answered it not thinking about Mark standing there.

"Guh." He gasped.

Mark looked over quickly.

"Holy Scalpels Batman, that is one hot who ha." He exclaimed.

"Go away Mark." Derek said, clearing the screen.

"No, send it to me! Who is texting you naked pics?" He asked.

Meredith remained quiet, but was barely holding back her mirth.

"None of your business." Derek said.

"You are such a bore. Don't you think he is a bore Grey?"

"Hmmm…" Meredith said.

Mark leaned closer to her.

"I wouldn't mind seeing your tits and who ha." He suggested.

Derek hit him on the arm.

Meredith slapped her chart closed and looked at Mark.

"You just did Sloan." She said, winking at Derek and breezing past both of them.

Mark turned slowly to face Derek, the shock evident on his face.

"You and Grey?" He asked incredulously.

"Why are you so surprised?" Derek asked.

"What about Addison? Oh wait, it is a threesome type thing cause I wouldn't mind making it a foursome." Mark asked.

"Addison and I broke up two days ago."

"And you have been doing Grey since…"

"About two hours after that."

"Nice. Just when I think you are boring, you rise."

"Oh, I am rising alright." Derek smirked.

Mark winced.

"Not a picture I wanted to imagine thank you."

Mark's phone beeped. He flipped it open.

"What the fuck is this?! Who the hell just sent me a picture of some dude's cock?" He yelled loudly.

Derek laughed but quickly covered it up with a cough when Mark glared at him.

Mark looked around him suspiciously.

"I will find out who did that and when I do, it won't be very pretty." He threatened before stalking off.

Derek's phone beeped.

_Now he's seen the whole collection._

"And she says I'm a smartass." He muttered.

* * *

"You are really good." Derek commented to Meredith.

She grinned at him.

"I know."

"Modest too." He remarked.

They were scrubbing out after their last surgery. Derek had stepped back and let Meredith take control. She had impressed him with her knowledge and execution of the complex surgery.

"Why the brain?" He asked, leaning back and crossing his arms and ankles.

"It controls everything." She said simply. "If you are brain dead, you are dead. There is no more you. It is the most complex organ in the human body and I am a complex and controlling woman. So it fit."

"That sounds like a warning." He said.

"That's because it is. Derek, I can't give you what you want."

"I beg to differ."

"Don't beg, it makes you look desperate." She teased. Her smile faded. "Seriously, I don't do relationships."

"So you have said."

"I mean it. This seems like it could turn into a relationship and that can't happen."

He regarded her silently for a moment. It was true, he wanted to see what could come of this besides sex. But she was like a deer in the woods, so he would go slow…no sudden moves…until he had her where he thought he wanted her…in his bed, his home, his life for much longer than three months.

"You are imagining things. We are roommates Meredith…with benefits. Mutually enjoyable benefits." He told her.

Now it was her turn to search his face. He kept his expression schooled and hoped she couldn't see through him.

Finally after a long moment, she nodded.

"Just so we are clear." She remarked.

"Clear as a bell." He said. "Wanna grab dinner?"

Her eyes narrowed.

"Derek…"

"What? It is raining so you can't ride your bike home."

"I have to. I am not leaving my baby here to be defiled." She said.

"Joe's has a place we can store it until tomorrow. So let's go ask him and while we are there, we will grab a bite to eat and then go home."

"That sounds way to domestic." She told him.

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. God, but she was stubborn.

"Look, you have to eat and I have to eat and we live together for the time being and we have sex…loud, screaming, sweaty satisfying sex…with each other. So we are going to go take your bike to Joe's…together, eat dinner…together, go home…together and have sex…together. Any questions?" He said, his voice low and deadly.

She swallowed as his eyes bore into hers.

"No…I just…no." She stuttered.

"Good. Let's go so we can get a good table. Meet you in the lobby in twenty?" He asked brightly.

"Uh…okay?"

"Great!" He walked off, doing that damn whistling thing.

What the hell just happened?

And better yet…

Why wasn't she panicking?

* * *

**What do you think will happen next?**


	16. Dinner and Getting to Know Each Other

_Chapter 16: Dinner and Getting to Know Each Other_

"I want…the double cheeseburger, no pickles with curly fries and a strawberry milkshake." Meredith ordered.

Derek raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"I will have a chicken Caesar salad and an iced tea." He told the waitress, who was eyeing him.

"Coming right up." She winked and walked away, swishing her hips blatantly.

Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Wonder is she got word you were lookin'?" She asked.

"I'm not lookin' at anyone but you." Derek smiled.

Meredith shifted nervously in her seat.

"Don't say things like that." She admonished.

"Why not?"

"I told you, it's not like that with us." She asserted.

"So you have said." He said.

"Repeatedly." She stressed.

"How are you going to fit all that food in that flat stomach of yours?" Derek asked, changing the subject.

"That is a normal meal for me." She shrugged.

"So you work out?"

Meredith shook her head.

"Take diet pills?"

Another head shake.

"Sold your soul to the devil?"

Meredith laughed.

"No. Metabolism disorder." She explained.

"God, women must hate you." He remarked.

"You have no idea." She smirked. "And with good reason I suppose."

"And what are those?"

"Being too thin, too bitchy, too slutty, too smart, too pretty…take your pick." She shrugged. "But I think they just hate me because I am confident in who I am and what and who I want."

Derek nodded.

"And who are you?"

Meredith looked up and thanked the waitress who sat their drinks down. She took a sip of her milkshake.

"I am exactly what you see." She remarked casually.

"Bull shit. I don't buy that. We are having sex every night. I deserve details." He said.

"You have more details than most." She smirked.

"That is exactly what I mean. This is going somewhere weird." He objected.

"Look we will find this stuff out with time. That is the fun part. That is the…gravy." She said, lamely.

"I don't want to be your…gravy." He said weakly.

Meredith sighed.

"Let it go Shepherd." She demanded.

"No Grey. Details. Now."

"What do you want to know? Within reason." She relented. Was his cock really worth all this aggravation?

Oh yes. She thought remembering the sex.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"I don't know." She answered.

"Meredith…"

"Seriously, I don't know. I don't have any from my mother but I don't know about my father."

Derek nodded, his heart breaking for the little girl she had been.

"Okay…" He thought for a moment.

"Oh nuh uh. My turn. Quid Pro Quo…"

"Okay ask away."

"Any siblings?" She asked.

"Are you mocking me?"

"A little." She giggled.

"Yes, I have four sisters."

Meredith gasped.

"I know." Derek laughed. "Kathleen, Nancy, Mia and Amber. They have fourteen children in between them."

"Your mom and dad must have been really busy." Meredith remarked.

"It has just been my mom since I was ten."

"Your dad left too huh?"

"No. He was killed by someone wanting his watch." Derek said evenly.

Meredith froze.

"I am so very sorry Derek." She said, putting her hand on his arm.

He smiled warmly at her.

"It was a long time ago. My turn. Why did you take this job?"

"Honestly, I don't know why. I mean my dad asked me too and that is enough of a reason. He has been there for me as long as I can remember. Why are you with Addison and why in the world are you friends with a deviant like Mark Sloan?"

Derek laughed.

"I will start with Mark. I met him when I was in first grade. His parents were neglectful, I was being bullied and he saved me so I took him home and he just never really left…Addison…was me wanting to settle down and have a family. That worked out real well."

"Derek…"

"I know what you are going to say so don't. I get that you don't date. I understand and I accept it. You can just be my rebound." He said, cringing inwardly at the words. That was not what she was, but she was going to bolt if he didn't do something to assure her, he wasn't trying to fit her in a white wedding dress…which he was but she didn't have to know that.

"Rebound? Okay. I can do that." She said, fighting the pang of hurt those words made her feel.

Their food was set in front of them and they fell into silence to eat. Meredith picked at her food not really tasting it.

She was a rebound.

Why did it sound so wrong coming from him?

Why did it hurt for him to refer to her that way?

Better yet…

Why did she care?


	17. FireCrotch's Return

_Chapter 17: FireCrotch's Return _

"Dinner was good." Meredith said, as she unlocked her door and entered her house. Derek followed quickly behind her.

"Dinner was excellent." He corrected.

"It was just food Derek." She said, rolling her eyes at him.

"I wasn't talking about the food." He said, looking at her intensely.

Meredith swallowed hard. He leaned forward; his intention clear.

She backed away at the last second.

"I am…do you mind if I take a swim in your tub?" She asked suddenly.

Derek froze, his lips still puckered and blinked at her.

"You want to take a bath?"

Meredith nodded quickly.

"Now?" He asked for clarification.

She nodded again.

"I'm…wet." She explained lamely.

"I am sure you are. However you are just going to be…wet…in the bathtub so…"

"Yes, but I won't be cold." She told him.

"I can warm you up." He said seductively, leaning in again.

She dodged under his arm and put ten feet in between them.

"Look, I know that you have been sexually repressed for the better part of twenty-five years. I get it and I am glad you have found your mojo…However that being said, my good girl is tired, sore and raw from the amount of friction that our fucking has produced. I need a drink, a bath and a bed…in that order." She said, heading for the kitchen.

Derek followed her and watched her pour a glass of tequila.

"Tequila?" He asked, his eyebrow raised.

"What, did you think I was a champagne kind of gal?" She asked.

"No, but usually it is consumed out of a shot glass not a twenty-ounce plastic cup." He informed her.

"I like tequila." She said tersely.

"Why? It doesn't call, doesn't write."

Meredith smiled into her cup.

"Exactly." She said, looking back at him.

Derek nodded.

"Feel free to use my tub as long as you want to." He said, letting her past him.

"Thanks." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.

* * *

Meredith gathered her things and started for Derek's bathroom with the white clawfoot tub. She loved that tub. She pushed his door open slowly.

"It's about time you got home."

Meredith froze.

That was not Derek's voice. No, the owner to that nasally ass voice was a redheaded bitch. Meredith shoved the door opened and stared at the figure on the bed.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" Addison hissed, trying to cover up her nude body.

"Not a natural redhead, huh?" Meredith mused. "Not surprising. What is surprising is your naked ass is in my house. Care to explain?"

"This is Derek's house, not yours. Just because he moved your slutty ass in…"

"Let me stop you right there. He didn't move me in. This is my house bitch. As in I own it, or rather my mom does. There was a little mix up with the lease dates, but Derek and I are…coexisting…peacefully. Or maybe peaceful isn't the word, as there is quite a bit of screaming around here if you know what I mean." Meredith smirked.

Addison growled.

"Stay away from him. He is mine!"

"That is not what he was saying while pounding me into oblivion." Meredith told her.

"He's mine!" Addison screeched.

"You cheated on him!" Meredith rebutted.

"When he left me, I suddenly realized how good we were together. So, I came here to 'talk' to him." Addison said, her eyes narrowed.

"Desperate much?"

"I am not desperate!" Addison screamed.

"What the hell is going on in…" Derek said, bursting into the room. He froze. "Addison? What the hell are you doing here?" He spat.

"I missed you and I want you back. I figured you needed help getting her out." Addison said, flicking her manicured hand at Meredith in dismissal.

Meredith raised an eyebrow at Derek.

"Okay, I would love to stay and be insulted but I am tired, and my vagina is all kinds of hurting thanks to you. So, I am going to go take my bath in your tub with my glass of tequila while you take out the trash." She informed him, gesturing to Addison.

She retreated into the bathroom and shut the door.

"Who do you think you are coming into my house after what you did?" She heard Derek yell.

Meredith smiled and ran her bath water.

That's a good boy, she thought. Get rid of the bitch for good.

* * *

"I want you back." Addison said, throwing off the covers and exposing herself to him.

Derek looked at her, uninterested.

"No." He said.

"Why because you are fucking that slut?"

"Don't call her that." He said, his voice low and deadly.

"You can't keep her Derek. She isn't the settling down and having children type. She will never stay with you. She will be gone as soon as she is done here."

Derek winced inwardly.

"That may be true, but that is a chance I am willing to take." He said.

"You will end up pathetic and alone." Addison warned him.

"No not pathetic, just alone. I am only pathetic when I am with you. And right now, you are pathetic. So, get up, get dressed and leave. Go find your girlfriend and finger fuck her. I am done." Derek said, throwing her clothes at her.

Addison threw on her clothes and then turned to sneer at him.

"You are going to be so sorry for this." She threatened.

"I am only sorry I didn't dump your ass sooner. Get out." Derek said, looking her straight in the eyes.

Addison slapped him and stalked out.

"Ouch, I bet that hurt." Meredith said lightly, leaning in the bathroom doorway clad in only a towel.

Derek rubbed his cheek and looked at her.

"I could think of worse things." He said lightly. Her leaving would hurt him.

"So I was thinking that since you got rid of her so well, that I might be willing to let you in my bath." She said.

"Oh really?" He said.

"Well, you did get slapped and all, it is the least I could do. But no funny business." She warned.

"Or what?" He challenged.

"Your balls will be so blue by next week, that you will be begging for a testicular retrieval." She told him.

He winced.

"So no funny business." Derek agreed quickly.

Meredith laughed.

"Well, there can be some funny business. Have you ever had an underwater blow job?" She asked.

Derek swallowed hard and shook his head.

"This just became your lucky day." She said.

Derek looked up at the ceiling and sent a quick 'thank you' to God.

Lucky day indeed.


	18. Admin Days

_Chapter 18: Admin Days_

"I love Admin days." Cristina said, as she and the rest of the group walked towards Meredith's office.

"Why?" Izzie asked, confused. "You are all about the cutting."

Cristina grinned wickedly as she pushed open Meredith's office door.

"Yeah, but Admin days are all about telling our superiors to shove it up their…Twats! Oh my God! I so didn't need to see that!" Cristina exclaimed as she shut the door quickly.

"What?" George asked.

"Oh nothing, just our Head of Neuro shoving his big boy up our boss' who ha!" She screamed into the door.

Izzie laughed.

"Oh my God! Did you really? What did it look like?" She asked.

"It looked like Shepherd was fucking Meredith." Cristina said, shuddering at the image that was now burned into her eyeballs. "Gotta find some bleach." She muttered.

"So she likes to get her rocks off. Who cares?" Alex said, leaning against the wall.

"I don't care…that doesn't mean I want to see it." Cristina argued.

Alex knocked on the wall.

"Hurry up and finish already!" He yelled.

They heard rustling and Meredith and Derek laughing. Suddenly the door opened, almost knocking Alex back. He regained his momentum and smirked at Derek, who was exiting the office.

"Nice…didn't know you had it in you." Alex taunted.

"He didn't, he had it in Meredith. Run along Shepherd. Take your orgasmic bliss somewhere else." Cristina said, dismissing him and walking into the office.

The others followed her, all wearing identical smirks as they looked at Meredith. She stared back without apology; her eyebrow raised in challenge.

"Are we ready to get started?" She asked, sitting down at her desk.

Cristina quickly grabbed a desk chair and pulled Izzie down into the other one. She watched as George and Alex had a seat on the couch.

Alex shifted to get comfortable. He placed his hand down on the cushion and quickly took it off.

"Why the hell is this couch wet?" He asked, inspecting his hand. He got a horrified look on his face and Cristina couldn't help it. Her laughter rang out loud.

"Why are you laughing…wait, where were they having sex Yang?" He growled.

Her laughter answered him. George leapt up off the couch in disgust.

"Is this his spunk? I have Shepherd's swimmers on my fucking hand? You are disgusting Grey!" He stormed off towards her bathroom to scrub his hands clean.

Izzie joined Cristina in her laughing while Meredith snorted behind her hand, trying not to give in. George looked down at the floor his shoulder's shaking.

They all calmed down until Alex joined them and then they lost it again. His face went red with anger.

"I will be getting you back for that Grey." He warned.

"Go…head…I…" She couldn't talk she was laughing so hard. "You should see your face!"

"Everyone shut up! Let's get to work." He growled, standing up. He looked around.

"Is there anywhere you haven't defiled in this room?" He asked.

Meredith thought for a moment.

"No." She said. Izzie and Cristina stood up and looked at their chairs in disgust.

"Let's go to the cafeteria." George suggested.

"Good idea." Cristina said, throwing a look at Meredith. "You're a disgusting whore Mer."

Meredith shrugged and grinned.

"I know." She said following them out. "You all want to me, but you can't have me." She singsong.

"Hell yeah we do." Izzie muttered.

Everyone else just sighed.

* * *

"This shit has got to stop!"

Derek looked up from his chart at Erica Hahn.

"Bad day?" He asked.

"Yang…Yang…my insubordinate, just came up to me and told me my charting was shit and I needed to do it over…by the time I left tonight. Can you believe the gall of her?"

Derek shrugged.

"Was it?"

"Was it what?"

"Shit?" He asked.

"That isn't the point! The point is that pink haired whore is on a power trip and she is influencing them all to be like her." Hahn seethed.

Derek slammed his chart closed.

"She is not a whore." He growled, enunciating each word clearly.

Erica looked at him closely.

"So the rumors are true. You are fucking Grey. How convenient for you."

"You don't know what you are talking about." He said.

"You are not the fuck em and leave em type Shepherd, she is. So, when she leaves, and she will, you are going to be all emo on everyone. So don't say I didn't warn you."

"When I want your opinion Hahn, I will ask for it, until that day however…shut the hell up and take it like the man we all know you are inside."

"Asshole."

"Derek."

They all looked towards Meredith as she made her way over to them.

"Speak of the devil herself." Hahn muttered.

"Am I interrupting?" She asked, looking between them.

"Yes." Hahn said.

"You are never interrupting. What can I do for you?" He smiled kindly at her.

She handed him some forms and charts.

"It has come to my attention that you are behind on your grant requests and these three charts are incomplete. Please finish them before you leave tonight. Thanks." With that she was gone.

Erica looked at him smugly.

"How is being her bitch working out for you now Shepherd?" She asked walking away from him laughing.

He looked down at the load in his arms and sighed.

It was working a whole lot better this morning.


	19. Make Love To Me

_Chapter 19: Make Love To Me_

Meredith looked up from the book she was reading when she heard the front door slam. She looked at the clock in confusion. It was after eleven. She knew he got off at six. Maybe he went for a drink and met someone and…

She forced the hurt feeling away from her mind. She had no hold over him, and she never would. She wasn't cut out for a relationship and maybe it was better this way. She heard him trudge up the stairs wearily. She caught a glimpse of him as he walked past her door, not even bothering to look in her room.

Before she knew it, she was slipping out of bed and walking the short distance to his room. He was grabbing some sleep clothes out of the drawer, his back to her.

"Hey." She said softly.

She saw him tense up.

"Hey." He said, not looking at her.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

He felt guilty. He had slept with someone else, maybe even Addison and he felt guilty. That had to be it. She could correct this right now.

"It's okay, you know." She said quietly.

"What?" His voice was cold and clipped.

"It's okay. We…there are no rules. You can sleep with whoever you want. I won't stand in your way." She told him. Look at me damnit!

As if he heard her, he turned around to face her.

"What are you talking about?" He asked her.

His intense stare was unnerving and she fidgeted under it.

"Well, it's…you are late and you won't look at me…well until now even if it is a bit crazy looking…or talk to me with more than one syllable so it must be because you feel guilty and you don't have to."

"Don't have to what?" He asked, confused though his gaze never wavered.

"Feel guilty!" She yelled. Was he deaf?

"I don't." He said simply.

_He didn't?__  
_  
"Oh…okay then." She said awkwardly.

"Would it bother you if I did?" He asked.

"Ye…I mean no…I mean…I don't care what you do." She stuttered.

"Really? So, it is okay with you if I go and screw all of my new 'fans'? You are okay with that?"

"Ye…yes." She said weakly.

He nodded, looking lost in thought. His head snapped up to continue with his direct stare into her eyes, like laser beams. He walked towards her slowly. She automatically backed up. He trapped her, her back to the wall and his arms settling on each side of her head.

"Well, I wouldn't be okay with that. I don't cheat." He said.

"It wouldn't be cheating." She pointed out, her breathing becoming ragged.

"It would be to me." He told her.

"We are not toget…" His finger over her lips stopped the work vomit that was making its way out of her mouth.

"I was at work." He told her.

"Was there an accident? Why didn't you page me? I would've scrubbed in." She complained.

"I wasn't in surgery; I was in my miniscule office doing the paperwork my boss demanded I do." He said, his eyes going just a little bit cold.

"It was delinquent." She said lamely.

"And it could've waited. I know you are my boss and I am fine with that. You have to do your job and I don't expect special treatment, but you will gain no respect from anyone as long as you are trying to stick it to them." He advised her.

She pushed at his chest. It didn't budge.

He looked down at her ineffectual fists and smirked.

"I am not trying to stick it to anyone." She huffed, crossing her arms.

"Yes, you are. You are allowing your admin team to air their grievances publicly and unprofessionally." He countered.

"Well, if you don't like the way I run things, you can just…"

"What? Quit? Yeah, like that will fly. I am one of the best in the world, these doctors are the best in the world. You don't want to lose any of us, so lose your ego and work with us." He demanded.

"Fine. Can I go now?" She asked, her face a stoic mask.

He stepped back.

"I'm not stopping you." He said.

She whirled away from him, preparing to stalk off childishly and slam her door. She felt an arm snake firmly around her waist and tug her backwards. Her back met a solid wall of firm male hotness.

"Okay, maybe I am." He chuckled into her ear.

"This is not funny." She hissed. "I am mad at you, let me go."

"What if I don't want to?" He asked.

His meaning was clear. They were talking about something else entirely now.

"You don't have a choice." She told him, fighting to keep her voice steady.

"I think…maybe I do." He said.

"Derek…"

He turned her to face him and shook his head.

"Don't say it. Not tonight."

He leaned forward and kissed her gently. She hesitated. He snaked his hand around her to the back of her head and held her there, moving his lips more firmly against hers. She brought her hands up, stroking his muscular chest, caressing his throat before wrapping them around his neck, her whole body touching his…her hesitation gone for the moment as she lost herself in the moment.

They stood like that for several minutes, their mouths mating until Derek broke the kiss and bent down, picking her up and strolling to his king size bed. He laid her on it, then placed himself gently on top of her, his elbows placed on either side of her face to keep his weight off of her. He gazed down at her. Her hair was strewn over his pillow, her scent now mixing with his, her pert breasts, showcased in a pale pink camisole, were moving in time with her ragged breaths, her matching sheer pink panties barely covering her bare mound, her long legs seemingly endless.

"You are so perfect." He said reverently.

She felt the flush work up her body, leaving her skin as pink as her lingerie.

"No, I'm not." She said. "I am just me."

"I know. Perfect." He said, dipping down to kiss her right breast. She arched her back when he lightly bit her nipple through the lace. That move had her flush up against his body, hardness against softness. He moved her bra, placing the top of it under her breasts and took as much as he could in his mouth. Then he blew on it, the warmth against the wetness making her gush at the apex of her thighs. He grinned knowingly as he smelt her arousal. He laved attention on her other breasts until Meredith's hand was thrashing side to side, her moaning becoming louder and louder. Her nipples had a direct line to her clit, and he knew he could make her cum just by what he was doing if he was so inclined.

He wasn't.

He reached behind her and flicked the closure open, effectively removing the now offending item. He threw it somewhere behind him. He kissed her again, his tongue slipping through her parted lips.

"Fuck me." She quietly begged.

"No." He told her.

Her eyes popped open and she raised up as much as his position would allow.

"What?" She asked confused. "You are just going to work me up into a frantic orgasmic mess and then stop? What the fuck Derek?"

He laughed at her and pushed her back down.

"No. I am going to make love to you." He told her, gazing softly into her surprised eyes.

"I…"

"Shut up Meredith." He said sharply.

"That's real romantic Casanova." She said sarcastically.

"Shut. Up." He repeated.

"Make me." She challenged.

"You got it."

He slammed his mouth onto hers, relishing in her moan as she tugged on his hair. He worked her up into a frenzy and then slowed down when she was out of her mind.

She moaned her disappointment. He tugged her panties down her legs and then moved back up her body, kissing every inch. She froze when his warm breath skimmed her bare mound. He licked up her inner thighs and then up her dripping wet slit.

"Hmmm…so good." He moaned. She almost came right there just at the look of bliss on his face. There was something to be said for a hot guy in between your legs moaning his approval of the taste of your arousal. He kissed his way up to her mouth, slipping his tongue into her mouth, letting her taste herself.

That was so fucking hot.

"You have too many clothes on." She complained.

He smirked and quickly threw off his clothes, letting them fly everywhere. He nestled in between her legs, his thick hard cock seeking her like a heat seeking missile. She felt his tip just inside of her entrance. Her hips shifted upwards feeling him slipping in another inch.

"Derek…please…" She begged.

"Please what?"

"Fuck me."

He moved back away from her. She wrapped her legs and arms around him, trapping him in place. He gazed at her in reproach.

She sighed.

"Make love to me, please." She relented.

He smiled at her, looking deep into her eyes before slipping into her core. She moaned and tightened her legs, her heels digging into his firm tight ass. He moved slowly in and out of her.

She threw her head back, enabling him to bite her neck softly. She tightened her arms around him, her hands gripping at his hair. She was at the precipice already, ready to freefall into oblivion. She tried to hold off. She didn't want this to end. This feeling of…of…

Completeness.

Oh God, what the hell had she done?

His harder thrust brought her back to the present.

"Aargh!" She moaned, as he hit her spot repeatedly. God he was good at the sex part. She felt herself tighten around his throbbing hard cock. The damn suddenly burst, and she came, panting and moaning. Screaming didn't seem appropriate with making love, but she wasn't sure. All she knew, was that she hadn't cum that hard in her whole life.

He followed her seconds later, struggling for breath. He slipped out of her and fell down beside her, catching his breath. She felt him take her in his arms and kiss her sweaty forehead.

She let him.

She didn't know that she had a choice in the matter anymore.

She fell asleep, for no other reason than to quiet the voices in her head telling her to sit up and take notice and that her life would never be the same.

* * *

**What do you think?**


	20. Meeting His Mom and Sister

_Chapter 20: Meeting His Mom and Sister _

Derek woke up to an empty bed. He wasn't surprised by this in the least. He did know that she stayed most of the night. He lied there and listened for sounds and was surprised that he didn't hear any that signaled she was present in the house. No shower running, no pots clanging. She didn't have to work today.

It was Sunday.

The one day she refused to work, for whatever reason.

He threw on some pajama bottoms and perused the house. No Meredith and no note.

He really wasn't surprised about that.

She didn't answer to him and even if she was his, he would never expect her too. She was her own person and she made no apologies for it. He loved that about her.

He noticed she had made coffee and he made himself a cup and sat down at the kitchen table. He decided to get ready and go on over to the church early. His mom was a devout Catholic and even though none of her children were, they still helped out with various functions and charity work. Their mother had instilled in them the knowledge to pay it forward. Be thankful for what you have and give unto others. She never judged them for their actions no matter if it was 'seemly' or not. She just loved them all unconditionally as any good mother would. Every Sunday, his mother's church would cook and serve for the less fortunate. He helped whenever he could and most of the time would do free medical checkups on the people who would go there.

An hour later, he pulled into his mother's driveway to pick her up. He had worked the previous three Sundays and had neglected to see his mother in that time. He had a lot to tell her.

He walked into his childhood kitchen and smiled when he saw his mother piling a heap of pancakes onto a plate, he knew was for him.

"Hey. You are early or shall I say three weeks late." She said, without turning around. He knew she was smiling though. He could hear it in her voice.

"I had work Ma. You know that." He told her gently.

She turned around, smiling and brought his plate and set it on the table.

"I know. Coffee?" She offered.

"Please."

They sat down together while he ate.

"Addison throw a fit today?" She asked, referring to the arguments she would have with him anytime he spent his day off with his family.

'No.' Derek said.

"That's a surprise." Carolyn muttered. Her dislike for Addison was well known to everyone, including Addison.

"Not really. Addison and I are no longer together." Derek told his mother.

"Thank you Sweet Mary and Joseph." Carolyn said.

Derek laughed.

"Well, now you can take the time to find a nice girl to settle down with."

"I already have." He said softly.

Carolyn took notice of his tone.

"Did you cheat on Addison, Derek? I don't like her but I don't condone that kind of behavior." She admonished.

"No, she cheated on me."

"That…"

"Ma. It's okay. It's better than okay."

Carolyn took in his shining eyes and his wide grin and nodded.

"Tell me about her." She demanded.

"Well, she is my new boss."

Carolyn raised an eyebrow but stayed silent.

"Her dad bought the hospital and she is the interim owner until he gets some things settled on the East Coast. She is like no one I have ever met. She is confident, smart, and beautiful. She is feisty but in a good way. She doesn't let anyone run over her and she is stubborn, but it makes me love her that much more…"

"You love her?" Carolyn interrupted.

Derek nodded.

"How long have you known her?"

"Less than a week." He told her.

Carolyn looked at him in surprise.

"Did you just say a week? You don't know anything about her. Derek…"

"Ma, you know how you told me when you met Dad you just knew?"

Carolyn nodded, a sad smile playing on her lips as she remembered her late husband.

"Does she feel the same?" She asked.

"No. Not yet anyway, but I have a plan." Derek announced.

"And what would that be?" Carolyn asked, her eyes full of amusement.

"I will wear her down with my charm and adoration for her." He said grandly.

"In other words you are going to annoy her into loving you?"

"That too." Derek said laughing.

"Don't get your hopes up too much Derek. I don't want to see you hurt."

"Ma, this is the woman I am going to marry."

Carolyn stood up as did Derek.

"I am very happy for you then." She said as she hugged her only son. "What's her name?"

"Meredith." He said reverently.

"When do I get to meet her?"

"That is another subject all together. I'll tell you about it in the car. Let's go do some good."

* * *

Meredith cursed inwardly. She had spent most of her morning trying to find a worthy cause to lend a hand to. Hopefully this was it.

"Hey. Can I help you?" A pretty blond woman with blue eyes asked.

Meredith smiled at her, shaking off her bad mood.

"Yes, I am new to the area and I was hoping that I could help out today. I see you have a soup kitchen."

The woman's eyes widened in pleasure.

"That would be great!" She said. "Come with me. I am Amber and we do this every Sunday. We aren't used to volunteers outside of the church members, so this is a pleasure. Are you Catholic?"

"Oh God no." Meredith froze. "I mean…oh crap. Sorry."

Amber laughed.

"Don't worry, I am not devout. This is my mother's church, but I want my kids to learn about helping others and to appreciate what we have. There is such a feeling of community here. Now here are some important questions. Are you ready?"

Meredith nodded, amused.

"Can you cook?"

"Yes."

"Can you clean?"

"Who can't?"

"You'd be amazed. What is your occupation?"

"Doctor."

Amber's eyes widened in surprise.

Meredith grinned.

"I know, I don't look like a normal doctor. That's okay seeing as I am not normal."

Amber laughed.

"You single?" She asked.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Meredith asked.

"If you only knew." Was the cryptic answer she got. "My brother and my mother do a free clinic here when they can. We are busting at the seams today, so would you mind helping them out? It's flu season."

"Sure. Lead the way." Meredith said.

She was led into a corridor and then to a small room with a door and a counter that was probably served as the check out for getting prescriptions and follow up appointments. The room was full of children and adults. Her heart broke at the sight of the struggling occupants. Life shouldn't be so hard.

"You coming?" Amber asked.

Meredith cleared her throat and willed her tears back.

"Yeah."

"Hey Ma. I have a volunteer who is a doctor here from…Where are you from?" Amber asked her.

"Oh. I was born here but I lived primarily in Boston." Meredith smiled at the salt and pepper haired woman who was smiling pleasantly at her.

"Well, we can always use the help. It is very nice of you to volunteer…"

"Meredith."

Something flickered in Carolyn's eyes and she felt the woman look her up and down.

"Where are you a doctor Meredith?"

"Um…right now Seattle Grace." She said nervously. This woman was looking at her very intently and it was making her uncomfortable.

Carolyn nodded.

"Son? There is someone out here you really need to see." She called out to the closed door.

The door opened.

"Ma. I am in the middle of an exam…Meredith?"

"Derek? What are you doing here?"

He smiled wide.

"This is my mother's church and I do a…"

"Free clinic. Of course, you do." Meredith smiled. This man amazed her. Kind and giving, sweet, gorgeous, and a big cock…oh my god, she was going to hell for thinking that in a church. She just kept on smiling.

"What are you doing here?" He asked her.

"On Sundays I try to lend a helping hand where needed. I didn't figure I should stop just because I am in Seattle now."

Derek smiled at her. She never ceased to amaze him. Kind and giving, beautiful inside and out, and she could…nope not going there while in church.

Amber and Carolyn watched their exchange with obvious interest.

"What's going on?" Amber whispered.

"I think you just met your future sister in law." Carolyn whispered back.


	21. Shepherd's Sunday Dinner

_Chapter 21: Shepherd's Sunday Dinner _

The rest of the day went by quickly. Derek, Meredith and Carolyn tended to the unfortunate of Seattle with free health care. Meredith proved to be very nurturing especially with the children. Derek caught himself gazing at her several times before his mother would gently nudge him and he would turn his attention back to his patient. Soon they were done, and Carolyn turned to Meredith, who was straightening up the makeshift examination room.

"We have dinner every Sunday at my house. You are welcome to come." She told her.

Meredith looked at her and smiled softly. She cast a quick look at Derek. She couldn't accept. That would be wrong. She wasn't in a relationship with him and leading him on would be wrong.

"Thank you for the invitation but…" She began.

"Let me rephrase that. You will come to dinner at my house tonight. It is at seven. Don't be late." Carolyn said, striding out of the door without a backwards glance.

Meredith looked at Derek with her mouth open.

"Did she just…" She asked.

"Yes, and she is not someone you tell no. So, we should go get ready." Derek said, looking at her as he walked to the door, cursing when he ran into it.

Meredith stifled a laugh.

"I'm just going to go and start getting ready…yeah. You coming?" He rambled.

Meredith smiled and nodded. He left her with one last giddy look.

Her smile faded the instant he was out of her sight. She was playing a dangerous game. This could not happen. This would end badly.

She had a feeling that it would hurt both of them if she was not careful. She could take it, but she would rather cut off her arm then hurt him. He was just so damn endearing. He treated her like a lady even while he was fucking her like a whore. He was always so caring and sweet afterwards, pulling her resistant form into his arms and kissing her forehead or her hair or her lips. She had never allowed herself the chance to fall in love. She had a really good reason for it. One that no one but her parents knew about.

She squared her shoulders and prepared herself for the family dinner. She cringed. Ugh! She had never been to another guy's family dinner before. Well there was the one her college friend took her, trying to convince his conservative parents he was not gay. Yeah dude, cause every straight male wears gold lame sandals.

After dinner, she would tell him again that a future for them was not possible. Easy.

Right?

* * *

Meredith fidgeted as she walked with Derek up the sidewalk leading to his mom's door. He walked in and she followed him. Utter chaotic noise greeted them. She looked wide eyed at Derek.

"The fourteen grandchildren?" She asked.

He laughed.

"Yeah. It will be a full house tonight." He said, his voice fond.

Meredith swallowed hard and nodded. He sensed her unease and pulled her into his arms.

"It will be fine. They will love you." He said, releasing her after a quick kiss on her brow. He walked towards the kitchen.

"That's what I'm afraid of." She said softly.

* * *

"So Meredith? Pink?" Derek's sister Nancy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Nancy!" Amber and Derek's sister, Mia (Amelia), exclaimed simultaneously.

"What? You all were dying to ask." Nancy retorted.

"Yeah, but you were the only one bitchy enough to actually do it." Amber muttered.

"You don't have to answer that." Kathleen informed her.

"No, it's okay. As a teenager, I was expected to be a good little girl. That included dressing like a pretty pretty princess and to grin and curtsy when told. Don't get me wrong, my parents are great. I just always marched to a different tune so hence the pink hair, or the blue hair, or black, orange, neon green…you name the color, I have it." Meredith exclaimed.

"And they are okay with that?" Nancy asked.

Meredith laughed.

"Oh no…they have no idea that I wear leather or that I have a tattoo or that I have a motorcycle. My mom would freak." Meredith said, smiling ruefully.

"So you lie to her?" Carolyn asked.

"I like to think of it as omission." Meredith said, shrugging. "Though it is hard to hide it during my peds rotations."

"Why is that?" Mia asked.

"Well, my mother is Chief of Surgery at Mass General which is where I work."

"The Chief of Surgery is Ellis Webber…wife of Dr. Richard Webber. She is 57 years old and inventor of the Grey Laproscopic Method. She has been married to Richard for 25 years and he is the owner of Webber Consolidated since 1986. They have no children." Nancy quoted.

Meredith looked at her in amazement and then burst out in laughter.

"What are you? President of the Ellis Grey-Webber fan club? They have no children together. I was a product of her first marriage. She married Richard when I was five."

"Where is your father now?" Carolyn asked.

Meredith shrugged.

"Last time I saw him, I was five and he was living here."

"So you were born here?" Mia asked.

Meredith nodded.

The front door opened just then, and Mark strode into the dining room.

"What? You didn't wait for me?" He asked, acting offended.

Meredith stood up quickly, not even bothering to hide her relief.

"Come sit over here by me." She said eagerly.

Everyone exchanged glances over her reaction to Mark.

"Thanks Grey." He said, taking the offered seat and piling his plate high with food.

"You and Mark know each other?" Nancy asked.

"Yeah, she's my hot boss." Mark said, shoveling food into his mouth.

"Hungry much?" Meredith asked, partly amazed and partly disgusted.

"Hmmm…long day. Four car pileup." He said.

"What! And you didn't call me?" She asked.

"Um…no." He said.

"And why not?" She asked.

"Because you are off on Sundays. Isn't that what you said to everyone during your awesome stick it to ya intro speech?" He asked.

"Oh yeah." She pouted.

"That was an interesting day." Derek spoke up for the first time. "She almost made us pee our pants."

Meredith giggled.

"That's your own fault."

"What?" Kathy asked.

"I go into the conference room and sit in the last row…you know just scoping things out. Mark and Derek walk in and sit two rows in front of me. Mark hits on me and Derek basically calls me a gold-digging whore."

"I thought you were scoping out a rich husband." Derek defended himself.

"That's okay, I thought you two were gay." Meredith shrugged.

"You what?" Derek and Mark exclaimed.

"We have thought that for years." Mia said.

"Seriously?" Meredith giggled.

"Yeah, neither one would settle down." She said, ducking as Mark threw a roll at her. "Just kidding, sheesh."

"No one questions my sexuality. I am a God." Mark declared. "Right Meredith?"

She glared at him.

"I mean Grey." He corrected quickly. She scared him.

"How would I know?" She asked.

"Oh that's right. You are too busy living with Derek to find out." He teased.

"You live with Derek?" Carolyn asked.

"Yeah…funny story actually. He lives in my mom's old house and some wires got crossed." She explained.

"Weren't you moving in with Addie?" Nancy asked.

"I would think it is safe to say that isn't happening, considering he is sitting here with another woman." Amber said.

"A fact I am ecstatic about." Carolyn said, smiling warmly at Meredith.

"I just have to say I am really happy that the pink isn't natural cause that would mess with the Shepherd hair that your children will undoubtedly have." Kathy teased.

Meredith felt her smile fade away. She stood up suddenly and rushed out of the room.

Kathy looked at Derek.

"What did I say?" She asked with concern.

Derek didn't say anything, just threw down his napkin and fled after her.

Everyone looked at Mark.

"She is a little bit commitment challenged." He explained.

"And that is going to work how?" Mia asked.

"I don't know." Mark sighed, suddenly worried for his friend.

He only hoped Derek had went into this with his eyes open because someone was going to get hurt and he didn't think it would be Meredith.


	22. Things Are Changing

_Chapter 22: Things Are Changing_

"I said drop it!" Meredith exclaimed, as she bolted into the house, Derek hot on her heels.

"Mer…"

"I'm going to bed." She said, ignoring him.

He grabbed her arm as she walked past him.

"Don't shut me out." He said, his eyes pleading with her to make him understand.

"I…can't." She said, shaking his hand off and retreating up the stairs.

She reached her room and shut her door quietly. She then proceeded to slide down the door with her head in her hands, trying to quiet her sobs. She was so confused. She didn't know which way was up. Should she try to be with Derek and enjoy what time they had left? Or should she just let him go and let him find someone else that could give him what he wanted, what he needed?

A quiet knock startled her.

"Mer?" Derek asked softly.

She bit her lip and closed her eyes tightly.

"Did I do something? Kathy was only kidding. I don't expect to knock you up until much later." He teased weakly.

She choked back another sob.

"Please." He pleaded. He tried the knob and it turned easily in his hands.

Hmmm…she didn't lock him out. He pushed at the door and it hit something solid. He managed to squeeze his head in, only to find Meredith curled up into a ball in front of the door. He eased in and crouched down in front of her. He extended his hand and brushed her hair back from her face, surprised to find her crying softly, her fist in her mouth to muffle the sounds.

"Mer…" He breathed.

She refused to meet his eyes.

He scooped her up and carried her to the bed. He eased off her shoes and coat and covered her up with her down comforter. He kissed her forehead and started to leave.

"Stay." She whispered.

He looked back at her, knowing how much that had taken out of her to request. He simply smiled and kicked of his shoes and joined her.

"Mer…" He began.

"Please…just…please don't say anything." She pleaded.

He looked down at her, at her eyes…so green, so full of tears and at her face with the damp trails already etched there and nodded. He brought her closer to him and stroked her hair until her breathing evened out, knowing without a doubt, she was more damaged than anyone ever realized.

* * *

"Hey, so what attending am I torturing today?" Cristina came in, her voice bright and hopeful.

Meredith winced at her loud voice. She had cried so much last night, that she felt hungover…only instead of alcohol it was with emotion.

"No one." She said with a curt voice.

"What? Why? Someone had to have fucked up over the weekend." Cristina complained.

"Things will change, starting now. I have been going about this all wrong. I want this hospital to be great and having a fellow reprimand an attending is exactly what got Seattle Grace in trouble to start with. I have been on a power trip and it stops now." Meredith informed her.

Cristina blinked.

"So, fun time is over?" She asked morosely.

Meredith had to smile at the crest fallen expression on her face.

"Fun time is over." She confirmed.

"You just sucked all the fun out of my day. Now it will blow." Cristina pouted.

"Oh, go blow Hunt." Meredith said.

Cristina stood up and walked out the door.

"Where the hell are you going?" Meredith asked.

"To go blow Hunt, seeing as you are no fun today."

Her cackling was heard through the closed door as she walked away.

"Bitch." Meredith muttered.

She sighed and sorted through her paperwork, though thirty minutes into it, she realized she hadn't comprehended a damn thing.

"You look frustrated."

Meredith looked up to find Alex lounging in the doorway.

"Don't you knock?"

Alex pounded on the door with his fist and raised an eyebrow.

"Smartass." She muttered.

"That is the consensus around here." He smirked.

He sat down.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked.

"Isn't that what we are doing?" She asked.

"Now who's the smartass?" He asked.

"I think I want to change specialties." He blurted out.

Meredith stopped fiddling with the papers on her desk and looked at him, her eyes squinted with suspicion.

"Quit fucking with me Alex. I am not in the mood." She spat, but she took a closer look at him.

"You're serious."

He nodded.

"Huh." She grunted. "To what though?"

He muttered something.

"What?"

"Gynecology!" He yelled.

Meredith slapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggle.

"I…um was just bullshitting you the other night at Joe's. You didn't have to take it seriously or anything."

Alex sighed.

The truth is I have been thinking about it for a while. I hate Plastics. I thought it was so macho, but it is bullshit. I am not helping anyone, and Sloan is a prick."

"Then what's the problem?" Meredith asked. "Change. You did an OB/GYN rotation. Do a year and a half fellowship to make up the time." She suggested.

"I need a favor." Alex said, his face unsure.

"What?"

"I need you to tell Sloan and Montgomery for me."

"My pleasure Alex." Meredith said.

She let a smile flow across her face.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Oh a chance to torture Not-So-Firecrotch is always a good time."

"Care to explain the nickname?" He asked.

"Use your imagination Alex."

"Oh…" Realization dawned in his eyes. "So, you two?" He made a rude gesture with his hands.

"You are so disgusting." She retorted.

"Yeah, we covered that. But did you?"

"No! She showed up naked in Derek's bed and I surprised her."

Alex hooted.

"That is a surprise I wouldn't mind coming across…two chicks, one naked, in the same room….together? Oh, hell yeah."

She threw a pen at him and rolled her eyes.

"So you don't mind talking to them for me?" He asked.

"No. I don't mind. I will call a meeting with the department heads today."

Alex stood up.

"Thanks Meredith…for this." He said.

She smiled genuinely for the first time that day.

"You're welcome Alex, now get ready to go look at crotches all day. And hey, just think, you will get paid to do it now." She grinned.

"Who said I wasn't getting paid before?" He taunted.

Meredith burst out into laughter as he left. She was so thankful that she had someone like Alex to make her forget how confusing her life was at the moment.

And so thankful she got to fuck with Addison some more. She pushed down on her intercom.

"Patricia? Call a meeting."


	23. Drama Unfolds

_Chapter 23: Drama Unfolds_

"Would someone like to tell me why I am here?" Addison griped.

Everyone was gathered in Meredith's office. Bailey, Mark, Derek, Owen and Meredith all looked at her when she spoke. Alex who was present, just looked at his shoes. He was not happy about Meredith's request that he be there.

"Last time I checked you were a department head." Meredith said, briskly. She turned her to address everyone. "Now, I know we all have a lot of work to do, so I will be quick."

"Please do." Addison muttered.

Meredith inhaled but kept quiet.

"I called you here today because of a request that Alex made."

"Who?" Mark asked.

Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Karev." She reminded him.

"Oh…him." He shot a dirty look at Alex. "If this is about what he saw in the on-call room, he is totally lying."

"I didn't see anything…because there was nothing to see." Alex said, holding his thump and pointer finger an inch apart, indicating what 'nothing' he was talking about.

Mark shot out of his chair. Derek yanked him back down.

"Can we get a move on with this please? I have a bowel resection in twenty minutes." Bailey said.

"Yes of course Bailey. As I was saying…" She shot warning glances at Addison, Mark and Alex. "Alex has decided to switch specialties and I think it can be done easily. I thought he could start the new specialty now and then continue next year and then be finished. What do you all think?"

"What specialty is he switching to?" Mark asked. Stupid, dumb ass bastard dumping him? Mark fumed.

"Gynecology." Meredith informed him.

"What?" Addison screeched. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Alex cringed but kept his gaze on the floor.

"Do you have a problem with that?" Meredith asked.

"Obviously." Addison mocked.

"Too damn bad. Your job is to teach, and he wants to learn and if I hear of any torture at your hands, there will be consequences. Do I make myself clear?" Meredith said through gritted teeth.

Addison huffed.

"Yes." She spat out. "Bitch." She muttered.

"Okay, that's it! Everyone but Montgomery out!" No one moved, all looking uncertainly at each other. "Now!"

Everyone but Alex and Derek left. She glared at them.

"Get out!" She yelled. They hesitantly moved out the door. She crossed the room and shut it, turning back to look at Addison.

"What the hell is your problem?" Meredith asked.

"You. You are my fucking problem. You come here, out of the blue, a nobody…a fellow...and suddenly you are the shiny new toy everyone has to play with. Look at you…you have purple hair; you wear leather and ride a motorcycle. This is not Hell's Angels; this is a hospital."

"That isn't it and you know it. This is about Derek." Meredith spat.

"So maybe it is. I spent two years trying to get his attention and in one week, he is fucking your brains out. If I knew he wanted a whore…"

"First of all, call me a whore again and you will be on the OR as a patient and not a doctor. Secondly, you cheated on him. When he came to me, he was almost broken. He was in shock and he needed me, and I was there. I didn't plan on…" Meredith broke off.

"What?" Addison laughed bitterly. "You didn't plan on being his fuck buddy? His own little piece of trash? Derek wants to be married and have a family. I don't see you as the PTA mommy. Now me…I have the right connections. Our children will have the best nannies, the best schools, the best of everything…your children would have a questionable medical history as you don't know a thing about your daddy and be fighting every day when someone calls their mommy a whore. Now who do you think is better for Derek?" Addison smirked…

…for a moment, until Meredith wiped it off with a sharp slap to her face.

Addison howled and clutched her face. The door burst open and Derek grabbed Addison to keep her from retaliation.

"My lawyer liked that." Addison spat.

"Not as much as I did." Meredith smirked, shaking the sting out of her hand.

"Get her out of here." She said to Derek, not looking at him.

"Mer…" He said.

"Please." She said, blinking back her tears.

Derek sighed and steered Addison out of the office.

"Meredith? Are you okay?" Alex asked, uncomfortably. "Do you want me to get Yang?"

Meredith shook her head.

"No. No one can help me Alex. Just…I need a minute. Go finish your paperwork."

He nodded and left, closing the door softly.

Meredith stumbled to her chair and collapsed into it.

She peered out in the gray day. She picked up her phone.

"Mom?"

* * *

"Is it going to leave a bruise?" Addison asked.

Derek shook himself out of his thoughts.

"What?"

"My face. Is it alright?"

"Describe alright. It has always looked odd to me." Mark interjected, falling into the chair on the other side of the exam table.

"Shut it Manwhore." Addison hissed.

"Ooh, that is kind of hot. Bet the chicks dig it huh?" Mark taunted.

Addison gasped and jerked her head to look at Derek.

"You told?" She accused.

"No." He said curtly, finishing his examination. "There are no broken bones."

"If you didn't tell, then who the fuck did? You are the only one who knew."

"Nuh uh." Mark said, shaking his head. "There is the matter of your little bisexual candy freak. She is a talker after sex. By the way, can you tell her to be careful of the teeth when blowing me? That shit hurts."

"I will kill her." Addison vowed.

"For what? Cheating on you or telling on you?" Derek asked, his eyes narrowed.

"Oh shut up. You are just moody because you are fucking the equivalent of Mark. Seriously Derek? She is a freak. You know full well, you can't turn a whore into a housewife."

"Shut up. Or I will give you a matching bruise on your other cheek." Derek threatened, his face very close to hers. She took the chance and leaned forward to kiss him.

He thrust her away from him so fast, she almost fell off of the table.

"What the hell?" Addison screeched.

"I don't want you. My mother, who has never hated another human in her life, thinks you are Satan's Spawn. That should've told me something." Derek said.

"She loved Meredith." Mark observed, popping a peanut into his mouth.

"She has met your mother? You made me wait for six god damn months. And after a week, you take her home to Mama?" Addison yelled.

"Yes! I love her!" Derek screamed back. He took a deep breath and rubbed his neck.

Addison fell quiet.

"How? What?" She stammered. "I shouldn't have cheated on you. I'm sorry." She murmured.

"It never would've worked anyway. If it wasn't you cheating, I would've done it eventually with Meredith. I can't explain it but there is this pull…" He shrugged.

Addison got up and straightened herself up. She held her head high.

"You will regret this. And when you discover I am right, don't come crying to me."

She stalked out of the room.

Mark observed Derek.

"Dude, you look like shit warmed over."

"Thanks." Derek chuckled cheerlessly.

"If you ever want to talk…" He offered.

Derek nodded. Mark gripped his arm and squeezed, walking out, leaving Derek alone.

Was Addison right? Was this a lost cause? Was he out of his mind? Was this worry and possible heartache worth it?

Only one person knew the answer to that…and Derek, he wanted answers.

He walked out of the room and went to go get his answers.


	24. Go Out With Me?

_Chapter 24: Go Out With Me?_

By the time Derek made it to Meredith's office, he was fuming. He had been nothing but understanding and she was still holding him at arm's length. He was willing to work through issues with her, but she had to give a little too. He raised his hand to knock on the door, knowing barging in would not put her in the best mood, but paused when he heard her on the phone.

"I just don't know what to do." He heard her say. He knew he should move away from the door and give her privacy but the heartbroken tone in her voice made him stay.

"He is…great, but he works here…no I am not going to tell you who it is…no…I don't know how I feel…its only been a week for Christ's sake…oh and thanks for the mix up with the house by the way…shit…yes it is Dr. Shepherd…don't get all excited, it can't go anywhere…you know why…no I haven't told him…it has been one week, remember…besides no one knows but you and Dad and I want to keep it that way…look Mom, it is much easier to put up my walls as you call them, instead of getting in too deep and being broken when he realizes what he is missing out on…when he realizes what I can't give him…I just can't go there…I know I've never tried Mom and I have been okay with that, it's just he's different…I feel different around him…just talk to Dad okay…see if he can wrap things up there sooner…okay…yes, I know, I love you too…bye."

He heard her sigh, though it barely registered with him. She wanted to leave Seattle, leave him sooner rather than later. He didn't want that to happen, couldn't have that happen. In such a short time, she had become as necessary to him as air. He had to make her see that no matter what was wrong, no matter how hard it was to commit to him, he was there for her and would be patient.

He took a deep breath and knocked.

"Come in." She said, her voice quiet.

"Hey." He forced a smile.

"Uh…hi." She looked sheepish. "I went to far didn't I?"

He looked at her, confused.

"I know, I shouldn't have slapped her but she just pushed my buttons." She explained.

"Oh, I don't care about that. I am sure she had it coming. What did she say to you anyway?" He asked.

Meredith blushed.

"It was about me, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, she just said I wasn't right for you and that I was a whore, which may be true but she basically called you an idiot and…I just…" She ran a hand through her hair. "I couldn't let her say that about you." She finished with a sigh.

"I don't think I am an idiot; do you think I am an idiot?" He asked.

She put her hands in her lap and looked down at them.

"I think that she is right." She said.

"So you do think I am an idiot." He teased weakly.

"No, I think that she would be better for you. I mean, not her, but someone like her."

"A cold hearted bitch?" He asked, his eyebrow raised.

"No, someone who can give you want you want, what you need." She said, her tone frustrated.

"What does that even mean?" He asked, agitated.

"It means I am no good for you Derek."

"Why the fuck not?" He yelled. "I don't understand. Make me understand." His tone softened to a pleading one.

"I…I can't. I'm sorry but I just…" She blinked her eyes quickly trying to hold back her tears.

"Let me help you. If you don't want to commit, fine. We can take it slow. I know this feels fast, I think so too, let's just slow it down. Get to know each other. I really want to know everything about you. Just please…"

"What if what you find out is a deal breaker?" She whispered, one tear falling down her cheek.

"Not possible." He promised.

"We shouldn't. This can only end badly. I am not what you need." She said.

"Well, you are what I want. So…" He trailed off, shrugging.

"How can you know that? I met you eight days ago. You don't know anything about me."

"I know that you are generous, kind, bossy, and stubborn. I know that you are a good cook and that you love your family. You are accepting of people's differences and embrace your own. I know that you are a good shoulder to cry on and tolerant, most of the time, to people's faults. I know that you make me feel like I have never felt before and I don't want to lose that, I don't want to lose you. So, please go out with me tonight. We will go to a restaurant that serves big chunks of carbs in a basket and I can even spring for an ice cream cone if you are really good." He waggled his eyebrows.

She laughed. She couldn't help herself.

"How good do I have to be?" She asked, pressing against him.

"Is that a yes?" He asked hopefully, embracing her.

She sighed, her head cradled on his shoulder.

"Yes." She said.

Derek pulled her back and grinned at her. He picked her up and whirled her around in a circle.

She squealed.

"You know, I agree with Addison. You are an idiot. Now put me down."

He put her back on her feet, still grinning.

"I will pick you up at seven." He told her, walking to the door.

"Pick me up? You live with me!" She shouted to his departing back. His laughter was the only answer she got.

She turned back to her desk, looking at her phone. She sighed and picked it up, dialing quickly.

"Mom? Thanks for getting in my head. Now I have a date. I have never been on a date. So, what do I do now, genius?"

Her mother's laughter rang in her ear.

She would almost swear that Derek and her mom were in this together. She rolled her eyes and focused on her mother's advice


	25. The Date Turns Sour

_Chapter 25: The Date Turns Sour_

"I can't believe that you are an ice cream snob!" Meredith exclaimed.

"I'm not." Derek protested weakly.

"You so are. You made a special stop at a gourmet shop to buy some coffee ice cream. Coffee? Really? Do you want me to intravenously insert coffee into your arm?"

"What? I like coffee." He said.

Meredith laughed and took the bag, heading towards the kitchen. She got two bowls, two spoons and the scooper and proceeded to fix them a bowl of their preferences. He watched her putter around the kitchen efficiently. She stopped in the middle of what she was doing to slip her shoes off, throwing them behind her. She took a bite of his ice cream and shrugged.

"Hey, that's mine." He teased.

She looked up guiltily and smiled sweetly.

"Just testing the merchandise." She explained.

"I have some merchandise you can test out." He playfully leered.

She shot him a condescending look.

"Down boy." She drawled.

He promptly fell to the floor. She laughed.

"I was talking about that boy." She said, with a nod to his lap.

"Oh, well, he doesn't listen as well as I do." Derek shrugged.

"Get off the floor." She demanded.

He made a show of getting up.

"Getting old huh?" She asked.

He growled at her.

She thrust a bowl at him.

"Eat your ice cream old man."

He followed her into the living room, and they sat on the couch. She picked up the remote.

"Whatcha wanna watch?" She asked.

"TV?" He asked.

"Yeah, why?" She looked at him in askance.

"Well, I thought you wanted to…' He trailed off.

She feigned innocence.

"Oh! You thought I was gonna put out on the first date? What kind of girl do you take me for Dr. Shepherd?"

"An easy one?" He asked, a smile playing at his lips.

"That is a highly inappropriate thing to say to your…girl…friend…who's a girl…sex partner thingee…whatever I am…" She stammered.

Derek looked at her knowingly.

"You are my Meredith." He said lightly.

"Yeah, I am…your…Meredith." She agreed, choking on the words.

Derek's grin seemed to make the room light up.

Meredith looked down bashfully.

"So, a movie?" He asked, letting her off the hook.

Her answering smile warmed his heart and made him weak in the knees. He knew he shouldn't let her get away with not facing her problems but she had him wrapped around her little finger…and well his…you know.

"Chick flick, action, comedy, drama…porn?" She asked, flipping through the pay per views.

"Porn? That's an option?" He asked.

"No, but that certainly got your attention." She deadpanned.

"Tease." He grumbled.

'Yeah, but you love me." She said playfully. Her grin faltered. "I mean…you like me, not love me…I am not…we are not…first date…sex…that's all…watching a movie…not porn…want some popcorn?"

Derek looked at her in amazement as she rambled then shot up out of her seat and all but ran to the kitchen.

He sighed.

"Yes, I do love you." He whispered to the still and silent living room.

* * *

Derek looked over at Meredith as the movie, a comedy, was over. Neither had laughed or moved for that matter. They had sat on opposite sides of the couch and had stayed in uncomfortable silence for the whole hour and forty-seven minutes.

"Well, that was good." Meredith said hesitantly.

Derek looked at her in amazement. He shook his head.

"What?" She asked.

"I lo…like you…a lot. I have made no secret of that fact. I understand you have issues, but you don't have to be all stiff and unyielding. I am not going to force you into anything you don't want."

"Won't you?" She asked, her voice low.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He asked.

"I say I only want sex one night, you seduce me in my office and have me agree to just sex. You say you can handle that. Not five days later, you are convincing me to go out on a date and I agree. So here we are. What's next? Exclusivity? Engagement? Marriage?" She yelled.

He felt his jaw clench.

"I didn't force you into shit. I may have cajoled you, but I didn't take away your free will. So, you can't put that on me." She opened her mouth to protest but he put a hand up. "No, I am talking so you need to shut up." Her mouth dropped open, but she stayed quiet. "I have listened to you bellow and complain and tell me you don't do relationships, you are happy single, you are messed up and I agree, you are completely fucked up, but I. Don't. Care. I have feelings for you and if you don't reciprocate them, then fine, but you don't get to tell me what I feel. Do you understand me?"

Meredith nodded, her mouth still open.

"Good, I am going to bed now. I will see you tomorrow. It is supposed to rain so I will give you a ride and then after work, we will go find you a car and then have dinner. Oh, and there will be no other people as long as we are having sex. That is not open to negotiation. Am I clear?" He asked.

She opened her mouth to speak but obviously thought better of it and just nodded.

He strode forward, took her in his arms and kissed her soundly. He released her and then went up the stairs without a backwards glance.

Meredith watched him go and touched her fingertips to her tingling lips.

Damn, mad, angry, forceful Derek was hot.

And she was going to bed alone.

She sighed and trudged up the stairs.

One day she would learn to shut her big mouth and use it more appropriately.

One day…

* * *

**What do you guys think?**


	26. What Ifs

_Chapter 26: What Ifs_

Meredith tossed and turned. She flopped over on her back and turned her head to look at the alarm clock…2:00am. She groaned and threw her arm over her eyes.

She knew why she couldn't sleep.

Derek.

She sighed.

She deserved his tirade earlier. She had purposefully fucked up their date. He just got too close. He was so deep into her psyche that she didn't think he could be expelled. How the hell did this happen? And why didn't she stop it?

She knew why.

She just didn't know what to do with that knowledge. Would he still want her after he knew the whole truth about her? Would he sacrifice what he wanted most to be with her and not resent her years from now?

She shuddered when she finished that last thought. She had never thought in terms of years when thinking about another person other than her parents. And to think that way about a man she had only known for two weeks scared her to death. She wasn't worried about the time frame, cause her parents always told her they had known from the first time they locked eyes.

Her parents. She smiled as she thought of them and all they had gone through to get to the point they were at now. The other spouses, her custody arrangements, which in the end were easily enough solved, moving away from the only home either had ever known to get away from the bad memories…they had never looked back and had made a great family for Meredith to grow up in. Which made her situation so bittersweet.

She looked again at the clock. 2:17am.

Ugh. Time was way too slow in some instances and way too fast in others. She sighed again and then made a decision.

She got out of bed and padded quietly towards his room. The door was shut, and she didn't know whether to knock, go in or go back to her own room.

She knocked softly.

"Come in." Was the soft reply.

She took a deep breath.

"Hey? It's me." She said then instantly blushed.

Of course it was her, who else would it be?

He nodded, his face serious. He searched her face for something, anything.

"I…I have never done this before, as I am sure you know. I have told you that enough." She laughed nervously. "I have my reasons and I know I have to share those with you at some point. I am not ready at the moment to do that. I'm sorry but I need to work up the courage to do that. Cause I am pretty sure that is going to be a deal breaker and I don't think I could take you walking away right now. I don't think I could take you walking away at all, but I think, no I know, that I am ready to try…this…us…with you. If you still want to, that is."

She watched his face. His expression went from serious to understanding to curious and then to happy during her verbal vomit.

"I want to." He said earnestly.

She let out a breath.

"Okay. Okay. So, we are going to do this, date, I mean." She said.

"Yes, we are." He agreed.

"Do you…I mean, can I…." She gestured to the bed.

Understanding dawned on his face.

"Of course you can. You can sleep here anytime you want. What's mine is yours and all that." He said.

"Obviously." She said, getting into bed next to him and immediately laying her head on his chest. His arms came around her, effectively trapping her there as she listened to his heartbeat.

"You know this is actually my bed." She commented.

"Actually, I bought this bed and brought it with me and placed the other bed in the room you are in." He told her.

She sat up abruptly.

"You mean…I am sleeping in the bed my parents had sex in?" She exclaimed.

"Yes, you are." He said laughing.

"That is wrong on so many levels." She complained.

Derek shrugged and pulled her back to him.

"Derek?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you ever think we are moving too fast? That this…us…is too fast?" She asked.

"Seeing as how I am chasing you, I would say no." He reminded her.

'Derek?"

"Yes?"

"I am glad you are chasing me." She said, stifling a yawn.

"I'm glad too."

"Derek?"

Derek sighed.

"Yes?"

"Do you mind if we just sleep tonight?" She asked.

"We would already me asleep if you would stop talking." He told her, his tone amused.

"We will have to work on your communication skills cause if you tell me to shut up one more time, I am going to hurt you." She threatened.

"Hey Meredith?"

"Yes?"

"Go to sleep." He demanded.

"Hey Derek?"

He chuckled.

"Yeah?"

"Okay." She said.

He laughed and kissed her gently before cuddling her next to him and falling into a deep and comforted sleep.

* * *

"We are going to be late Derek! Stop fucking with your hair and get a move on it!" Meredith shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

He appeared at the top of the stairs, grinning sheepishly.

'I have you know, it takes a lot of effort for my hair to look like this." He informed her.

"What…overly moussed and purposefully messy?" She smirked.

"Yeah." He agreed before laughing.

He came down the stairs and grabbed her to him, looking deeply into her eyes before kissing her socks off. Damn, the things that man could do with his lips, tongue and his…

Damn, she really needed to put on some panties. Wetness dripping down her leg was not comfortable.

She pulled back from him.

'I will meet you in the car. I have to get some…um…something from my room." She said, before sprinting up the stairs.

She had been in emotion overload since waking up in his arms. She hadn't even felt the urge to run. Amazing how things had changed in such a short amount of time. How she had changed. She actually felt like she had a purpose other than her job. Hopefully she could balance the two.

She knew she needed to talk to him, to really let him in but the fear of his reaction was making her hesitate. She had so many doubts and questions. Could she move here? If not, could they make a long-distance relationship work? Could he get past her secret and love her? She needed answers just as much as she was sure he did. She made the decision to talk to him soon.

"Hey Mer! Get a move on it! We are going to be late. Your hair will never be as good as mine so stop trying." He yelled up the stairs. She hurriedly put her panties on under her skirt and ran down the stairs.

Soon. It will all be worked out.


	27. What's Wrong

_Chapter 27: What's Wrong_

"Boys are stupid."

Meredith looked up and raised her eyebrow at Cristina who had flopped herself down on her couch.

"And the non-sequitor award goes to…"

"I'm sorry, boys are stupid." Cristina sighed.

"Boys are stupid, why?" Meredith asked distractedly. She was trying to finish the budget for next quarter. The suits were up her ass. Good thing she wore panties today, huh?

"Owen totally threw me off his case and put me in the Pit. The Pit Meredith." She ranted.

"What did you do?" Meredith asked, finally concentrating on Cristina.

"Why do you think I did something?"

Meredith leveled a look at her.

"Okay, fine. I might have told him he diagnosed the patient wrong, in front of the patient and then proceed to go over his head to Bailey when he argued with me."

"You might have, or you did?" Meredith asked.

"I did."

"Cristina! You can't do that. No wonder you are running all the attendings off."

"What? How can you say that? I have not."

"Burke?"

"Total asshole." Meredith's eyes bored into her. "Ugh…he left me at the alter!"

"He is an asshole." Meredith agreed.

"Dickson?"

"How was I supposed to know she had Asperger's?"

Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Hahn?"

"Hey, she's still here." Cristina objected.

"She resigned this morning." Meredith informed her.

"Well shit. Now who is supposed to teach me?" Cristina said in a frustrated tone.

"Good question! If you would stop running off the staff, you wouldn't have to ask that."

"It's not me. It's not my fault they can't hang." She said.

"That is not helping me. Now I have to hire a new cardio God. I don't have time for that." Meredith complained.

"Stop fucking McDreamy and you will have more time to find me a cardio God." Cristina suggested.

"I will stop fucking Derek when you stop fucking Hunt." Meredith countered.

"No fucking way! That man is a fucking God in bed." Cristina said, her tone aghast.

"Okay can we stop saying fucking?" Meredith asked, her brow furrowed.

"Oh are we going all Catholic good girl? Are you Larping?"

"Am I what?"

"Larping. Live Action Role Playing." Cristina informed her. "Do you have the naughty Catholic school girl outfit?"

"Not a geek, unlike you apparently." Meredith said, crinkling her nose up. "And yes I have the outfit."

"Nice, just when I think you are boring, you rise." Cristina nodded in approval.

"One thing I could never be accused of is being boring. Hello…pink hair, fuck hot motorcycle, any of this ring a bell?"

"Yeah that was the old Meredith. Now you are settled down Meredith, who is a whole lot more boring." Cristina sighed.

Meredith frowned.

"I am not…settled down." Meredith objected.

Cristina raised an eyebrow.

"You live with him, you eat with him, you work with him, you sleep with him…you are settled down."

"So are you."

"I am not denying it. You are. He is a catch or so I have heard from the desperate, horny nurses. He is not my type…all that hair and niceness." Cristina shuddered.

"Hunt is nice."

"Hunt is all moody and sullen due to his PTSD. I like a little dark and twisty in my men."

"I'm all for the dark and twisty." Meredith laughed.

"So?"

"So, what?" Meredith hedged.

"What is holding you back?" Cristina asked.

Meredith feigned interest in the paperwork on her desk.

Cristina got up and cleared her desk.

"Answer me bitch." She demanded.

"Okay, cranky!" Meredith exclaimed. "There is something I haven't told him about me and I think…no, I know…it will be a deal breaker and that sucks because I really like him and I don't want this to end but it has to end and no good can come of sleeping with your boss…I mean I'm his boss but well you know what I mean and I just don't know how to tell him and I am scared and confused and I just wish someone would tell me to shut up…but my point is…I have a secret and I am scared to tell him but I know I have to." Meredith took a deep breath.

Cristina sat down slowly looking a little dazed.

"Okay?" She said slashed asked.

"So? What do you think I should do?" Meredith asked anxiously.

"You know I just thought you would tell me he had a triple nipple. I've got nothing." Cristina said, her face apologetic.

"Cristina!"

"What?! I am not a shrink. You need Mental Defects on six. You need advice on how to do a cardio bypass, I'm your girl, otherwise, I am only good for liquor and sarcastic comments. Do you want me to get Izzie?"

"No, I don't need kittens and rainbows." Meredith said shortly.

Her intercom crackled, and her assistant's voice came over.

"Dr. Grey? Um…you have a visitor?" Her voice was uncertain.

"Who is it Angela?"

"She says she is your mother."

Oh. Shit.


	28. Ellis in Seattle

_Chapter 28: Ellis in Seattle_

"What the hell is wrong with your hair?"

Meredith reached up to her hair and winced. It was purple and blonde today. Great.

"Um…" Meredith thought blankly.

"Really Meredith. Purple? Next you are going to tell me it was pink and black and blue."

"Don't forget green and oh, my personal favorite, orange." Cristina chimed in.

"You're not helping Yang." Meredith hissed.

Cristina shrugged and focused instead on Ellis.

"Hi. Dr. Grey-Webber, I am Cristina Yang. I am a very big fan of your work." Cristina gushed, enthusiastically shaking Ellis's hand.

"Oh are you specializing in General?" Ellis smiled.

"Hell no. I am Cardio all the way." She boasted.

Ellis sniffed.

"Ugh. Cardio. You all know what you want and will stop at nothing to get it. Am I close?" She asked.

"That's about right." Cristina agreed.

"Of course, I am always right." Ellis said, winking.

"Your mom is the shit." Cristina said, looking at Meredith.

"Yeah…so Mom what are you doing here?"

"Well, I thought about our conversation yesterday and I just couldn't stand not being here for this."

"For what exactly?" Meredith asked.

"To watch you fall in love, of course." Ellis said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh you missed that already." Cristina confided to Ellis.

"What?" Ellis asked, despair evident in her tone.

"Yep, but she is totally in denial, so you might be here when she finally admits it to herself. Hope you packed enough clothes. She is a stubborn one."

"Yeah, I am afraid she gets that from me. Well, I have a no limit credit card and there are a lot of stores here, so I am good."

"Hello?" Meredith said.

They both turned to her, question marks plainly written on their faces.

"Hi. Remember me? The person you are discussing as if I am not in the fucking room? Yeah, that's me."

"Dear, stop cursing. It is not ladylike." Ellis reprimanded.

"And telling me to wear a black dress cause I will look fuck able in it, is?" Meredith countered.

"Hey, don't get mad at me for trying to get you laid. With your disposition these past few years, I figured you were lacking in that area. Excuse me for trying to help." Ellis said.

"Mom, I get laid like all the freaking time. Okay? I have slept with more men then you have taught in your long career, so I don't need help at all in that area."

"Oh My God. My daughter is a whore." Ellis said, her tone harsh.

Cristina started laughing and quickly covered it with a cough. She cleared her throat.

"Sorry. You were saying?" She said, looking expectantly between the mother and daughter.

Meredith glared at her and Cristina smiled evilly.

"Is this about…"

"Don't start Mom. Please." Meredith pleaded.

"You have to tell him sometime. Why not now? Cristina go find Derek for me." Ellis suggested.

Cristina paused and looked at Meredith uncertainly.

"Yeah, mom, great idea. I can tell him before his surgery so he can dump me and then be so upset about it that he kills his patient." Meredith said sarcastically.

"You are overreacting." Ellis stated matter of factly.

"Yeah, you really are Mer." Cristina chimed in.

"Shut up. You don't even know what we are talking about." Meredith told her.

"Maybe not, but I do know that it would take a lot for that man to jump ship, by the way, did you know he has a rather unhealthy obsession with ferry boats?" Cristina informed everyone.

Meredith rolled her eyes.

"You don't get it. Neither of you get it. Yes Mom, you know but you don't understand what it has done to me, how it makes me feel because you never asked. And Cristina, you don't know and even if you did, you have the sensitivity of a snail, so you are really not any help either. So, both of you leave me alone and I will get to it when I get to it."

"Yeah, when? Your wedding night?" Ellis said sarcastically.

"Mom? Sarcasm doesn't really suit you."

Cristina nodded.

"Yeah, it really doesn't." She agreed.

"Well, both of you…meaning you and Derek…are going to join me for dinner tonight."

Meredith opened her mouth to protest.

"Oh no, young lady. I am going to meet this man of yours, one way or another. We can do this the hard way or the easy way. Your choice." Ellis interrupted.

Meredith sighed.

"Fine."

"Great! Glad that's settled. I only wish your father could be here to see this. Dinner with you and a boy, that's not gay. I should get a camera." Ellis said smiling.

"Ugh, Mom. This is not high school." Meredith shuddered.

"I said I should, not that I would." Ellis said. "Lighten up."

"I will lighten up…when…I feel…light." Meredith ranted.

She looked at both of the woman smiling at her and had to get out of there. She huffed and grabbed her paperwork and headed out the door.

She took one last look at them and huffed again.

"Hey, Ellis?"

"Yes, Cristina?"

"I have a camera you can borrow."


	29. The Secret is Out

_Chapter 29: The Secret is Out_

"Don't mention anything about my biological father…her affair with my stepdad…or the fact that he left his wife…better not mention anything at all about her residency." Meredith told Derek.

Derek rolled his eyes naturally and reached over to squeeze her hand.

"I have been in social situations before, you know?" He assured her.

"Not with my family." She grumbled.

"It is going to be fine. She just wants to meet your boyfriend. It is perfectly normal."

"Boyfriend?" She asked panicky.

"Oh, is that not what I am? I'm sorry…I just assumed…"

"No! No, boyfriend is…okay…I just suddenly feel like I am sixteen and bringing a boy home for the first time." She said.

"And? Is this your first time?"

She cut him a look.

"I mean, bringing a boy home to meet your mother." He clarified.

"Yeah, well…there was David, but he was gay."

"Oh every parent's dream. A guy who doesn't want in their daughter's pants." He teased.

"No but he definitely wanted in my closet. I had some great shoes." She threw back at him.

He laughed, and she joined in but abruptly stopped as they pulled into the driveway. Her mother's car was already there.

"Take a deep breath." He instructed. "It is going to be fine."

"Easy for you to say." She grumbled.

"Mother's love me. She will too." He assured her, getting out of the car.

"That's what I am afraid of." She whispered to herself.

* * *

"So, Derek, tell me about yourself." Ellis instructed.

"Well, I am the Neurosurgery Attending. I attended Bowdoin and Columbia and came back home to Seattle once I finished my residency at Mount Sinai. I have been here for eight years now."

"Why did you come back? Didn't like the East Coast?" Ellis asked.

"No, I loved it, but my family is here and I wanted to be there for them. My father died when I was ten and my mother is getting older…don't tell her I said that please…and I want to be here to help out." He said.

"So you are family oriented?" Ellis prodded.

Meredith drew in a sharp breath and cast a warning look at her mother.

"Yes, I am." He answered, turning his attention back to Ellis.

"Are you an only child?"

"No, I have four sisters…two older, two younger…very girly, lots of kids. Fourteen to be exact, ranging in ages from twenty to five." He said laughing.

"That's…a lot. Have you met them Meredith?"

"Yes." She whispered, concentrating on her plate.

"Well, that is a surprise. You have only known Derek how long? Two weeks and you have met his family."

"I went to volunteer and it happened to be at Carolyn's, Mrs. Shepherd's, church and she…strongly…urged me to eat dinner with them. It was nice…loud and lively and…nice." She said, forcing a smile.

"Yeah, Mer got a little freaked out. I think she thought they were already planning our wedding and the birth of our children." Derek said, chuckling.

Meredith paled and sucked in a breath.

"I assured her that was not the case. They would wait until they knew her for at least two months before giving us baby name books." He teased, knowing he should stop but wanting to know why she was reacting like this.

"What are your feelings for my daughter?" Ellis asked seriously.

"Mom!"

"No, it's okay Meredith. I can answer." He turned to Ellis. "I know that I have only known her for two weeks and I know it seems impossible to know. But I do, know, that she is it for me. It was like I was drowning, and she saved me. She is my air. I thought I knew what I wanted in a woman, in a relationship, but I was wrong. It's like every woman I dated was preparing me for the day I met your daughter. I want to give her everything she wants, everything she needs. If she will let me." Derek said, looking between mother and daughter.

"Oh, okay. I have no objections to that at all." Ellis smiled excitedly. "Wow, I never would have guessed that when I purposefully messed up the housing situation that this would happen. I mean, I hoped but…"

"You what?" Meredith asked, her tone low and deadly.

"Derek always seemed like such a nice man when I would talk to him, he always paid his rent on time, and always fixed things and took care of this house that I figured you two might hit it off." Ellis explained.

"You mean you meddled once again. Did it ever occur to you, I didn't want to meet anyone?" Meredith asked.

"You are not happy. I want you to be happy. Is that so wrong?"

"You insured I would never be happy. You and Richard made that decision when I was seventeen. You didn't even consult me!"

"What happened then was not our fault. It was the only way to guarantee you would live."

"Did you ever think for one minute that I wouldn't want to after that? That no one would want damaged goods?" She screamed, her throat aching with unshed tears.

"How would you know? You don't give any man a chance. You just spread your legs and keep your emotions out of it. Do you think I want that for you?" Ellis yelled back, standing up and putting her hands on the table in front of her. She leaned closer to Meredith. "Do you think I don't see what you are doing?"

"What? Tell me oh wise one, what am I doing?" Meredith said, her gaze level.

"You drive anyone away who even tries to get your attention for more than just sex. And now for the first time in fourteen years, you have let someone in. Someone good, someone right for you. It isn't going to matter honey. It only matters to you."

Derek had sat back and watched this exchange quietly, but he was really lost.

"I'm sorry. What the hell are you two talking about?"

Meredith blinked and switched her gaze to him, instantly softening her features. Suddenly, she looked horrified.

"I…I…have to go." She ran around the table but strong arms stopped her.

"Oh no you don't. You are going to tell me what you have been avoiding telling me. Come on, it can't be that bad. Just tell me. Nothing is going to change how I feel about you."

She extracted herself out of his grip and looked him in the eyes, her own filled with unshed tears.

"What is the one thing you want more than anything in the world?" She asked.

"Meredith…." He sighed.

"Answer the question." She demanded softly.

"You." He said simply.

"What do you want with me?" She asked.

"The only thing I think of is having you in my life and maybe one day, marriage and a family. I think about coming home to you and a daughter that looks like you or a son that looks like me. That's all."

Her eyes went dead and the tears filed one by one down her ashen cheeks.

"And that is the one thing I can't give you." She whispered.

"What aversion do you have to kids?" He asked.

"I don't have any…aversions. I want kids, I am good with kids."

"Then what?"

"I can't have kids Derek." Her breath out in a whoosh and her shoulders sagged.

"I don't understand."

"As in I am physically unable to conceive or carry a child…ever." She smiled self-deprecatingly. "Still want a future with me now?"

She backed away and with one last long apologetic look, she flew out the door, slamming it behind her.


	30. Do You Love Me?

_Chapter 30: Do You Love Me?_

He looked at the door helplessly, his mind reeling from the implications of what had been revealed to him.

She was infertile. It all made sense now; the secrecy, her feeling inept, running out of the room at his mom's house, fighting her feelings for him.

He shook his head to clear it.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked into the sad, tear filled eyes of Ellis.

"I'm sorry you had to find out like that. She just doesn't get that she is wonderful despite her infertility." She said, sinking down into the couch heavily.

"What happened to her?" He asked and then paused. "Never mind, I need to talk to Meredith about it."

Ellis nodded.

"We did what we thought was best." She told him.

He nodded and smiled.

"Does it matter to you?" Ellis asked quietly.

He looked her dead in the eyes, his gaze steady and sure.

"No."

Ellis nodded, smiling widely.

He stood up abruptly.

"I have to go find her." He stormed out the door.

Ellis laughed softly when she heard the door slam.

"Good work Ellis." She said to herself, mentally patting herself on the back.

* * *

Meredith drove until her tears obscured her view of the road and then pulled over. She laid her head down on the steering wheel and struggled to catch her breath, her sobs echoing in the silent car.

She couldn't believe she had blurted it out like that. She had to admit to herself, though, that it felt good to have it off her chest. She hated keeping that from him. Normally, it didn't bother her, but then again, she had never connected with someone like this before. She had never had electricity flow through her veins at a simple touch, had never felt like her heart was going to palpitate out of her chest, had never felt so…complete.

She took a deep ragged breath and sat back, throwing her head on the headrest and closed her eyes. It was over. She couldn't give him what he wanted, what he needed and that made her feel worse than anything. She felt like she was letting him down. She should've told him, but how do you shove that into conversation?

'Hey, that feels so good, but before we fuck just thought I would let you know, we don't need a condom unless you have some horrible venereal disease, I am barren…okay? Thanks.'

Yeah that would've went over really well.

"Fuck." She whispered. She hit the steering wheel. "Fuck!" She screamed.

The passenger side door wrenched open.

"I don't know about you but I think we need to talk first before fucking."

She started and looked helplessly at Derek before looking away.

"How did you find me?" She whispered.

"You are the only Lexus parked on the side of the road, without your hazard lights on may I add. Do you want to get into an accident?" He asked.

She snorted.

"It wouldn't be the first time."

He got into the car and shut the door, reaching over and pressing the button for the hazard lights. She rolled her eyes and sniffled. He handed her a tissue. She looked at him under her lashes and took it. He grabbed her hand and held it while reaching over himself and wiping her face.

"Derek, just…you don't have to do this."

"I want to." He said.

"Didn't you hear what I said? I can't have kids. As in no kids for me."

"I don't care."

She looked at him incredulously.

"What the hell do you mean, you don't care? You want kids. Badly. Your whole family's lot in life is to populate Seattle single handedly. And they do it…well. You can't be serious." She ranted.

"I don't care." He repeated more forcefully this time.

She regarded him closely for any signs of insincerity and found none.

"No. I won't…I can't be the reason you don't have any children. You will resent me. Why are we even having this conversation? I mean, it's been two weeks…two. That conversation should come after months of dating not after two weeks of sex and sarcasm."

"I love you." He said quietly.

Her eyes widened.

"You what?" She said breathlessly.

"I love you and I don't care if you are Satan herself. So, you can't have kids, big deal." He shrugged. "There is more than one way to make a family Meredith. We can adopt, we can use a surrogate, hell, we can buy one if we have too." He smiled to show he was kidding about the last part. "But you're right, this is something that will happen in the future. Let's just concentrate on the present right now. Okay? We will just date and have sex until the sun comes up and go to family dinners and work together on unique medical cases and laugh at the gossip behind our backs. Let's just live and the rest will hopefully just fall into place." His hand ghosted over her face.

She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"What if…"

He placed his pointer finger of his right hand over her lips.

"No what ifs." He said, his voice mockingly stern. He looked down at his lap. "Can I ask what happened?"

"Yeah. Um…I was in a car accident the summer I turned seventeen. A drunk driver ran me off the road. The car flipped and I presented with lower abdominal pain so they did an ultrasound and it revealed I had extensive damage to my right ovary and tube so the doctor strongly urged my parents to do a complete vaginal hysterectomy because I may have problems later and that way I wouldn't have a scar. Didn't help the scar on my soul though." She laughed bitterly. "I guess I should be happy I am alive and survived with very little damage, but I just felt like a part of me died that day. I mean, at seventeen who thinks about having kids? But it just seemed to make my future...empty." She shrugged.

"I'm glad that you're alive. It would be very dull without you around." He said, brushing her hair back.

"You just met me."

"Yeah and I was very dull, ask Mark." He grinned.

"Must be the company you were keeping." She said wryly.

"Yeah, that must be it." He pulled her to him.

"I know tonight was hard for you, but I need to ask you for one thing."

"What?"

"Stop running from me. Stay and talk it out. Please." He pleaded.

"I will work on it but I can't make any promises. Avoidance is engrained in my DNA."

"Oh I've heard about that. The Avoidance gene. Really big in the news right now."

"Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"Leave the sarcasm to me." She demanded, snuggling into his side.

"Okay. You are better at it anyway. Is that the Sarcastic gene?" He teased.

"Yep."

"Are we okay Mer?" He asked.

"Yeah, I think we are."

"Good." He kissed her head.

"Derek?" She whispered.

"Yeah?" He answered laughing. They always did this questioning stuff.

"I think I love you too."


	31. Life is Good!

_Chapter 31: Life is Good!_

"Today is the day people. The day that dark and twisty Meredith becomes bright and shiny Meredith. You're probably not going to want to be friends with me anymore, because the sheer intensity of my happiness will make your teeth hurt, but that's okay, because life is good. Life is good!

Cristina, Alex, Izzie and George all looked at her weirdly, eyebrows raised.

"Okay? Pollyanna? Wipe that cheesy ass grin off your face. I can't work under these conditions." Cristina grumbled.

"Oh, someone didn't get laid last night." Meredith taunted. "Have a seat and we will get started."

Cristina and Alex quickly took the chairs while Izzie and George sat down gingerly on the edge of the couch, making disgusted faces.

"It's been cleaned." She told them. They breathed sighs of relief and relaxed.

"So on the agenda today is…" She began.

"Oh, uh uh. You are going to tell us why you are so happy today when you were all spastic yesterday." Cristina interrupted.

"I talked to Derek and we are good." She said simply.

"You told Derek, or your mother told Derek?" Cristina pressed.

Meredith looked at her sheepishly.

"My mother pushed me into telling Derek while we were eating dinner." She admitted.

"How did he take it?" Cristina asked.

"Well, after he chased me down and found me losing it in my car on the side of road, he took it just fine."

"Took what fine?" Izzie interrupted. "You two are doing your 'we are best friends; we are so cool' thing. Clue us in please."

"Keep your panties on Tink, I don't even know what it is." Cristina informed her.

Izzie shot her a dirty look.

Meredith hesitated. Should she tell them too? It didn't really matter about their reactions as it didn't directly affect them.

Alex read her emotions.

"Look, if she doesn't want us to know, that is her business. We don't have to be all up in her Kool-Aid." He said.

"You don't have to tell us Mer." George agreed.

"Yes, she does." Cristina and Izzie said simultaneously.

Meredith laughed in spite of herself.

"It's okay. Derek and I have been seeing each other and while I know it has only been a little over two weeks, we just connected. I maybe see a future with him and that is scary enough in itself, but there was something about me that would affect that future and I was scared he wouldn't want me." She explained.

'Are you really a man? Did you have an SRS?" Alex asked.

"No!"

"Then what does it matter?" He said simply.

Meredith smiled. Trust Alex to put his own spin on it and be right.

"The secret was that I can't have children. I had a hysterectomy when I was seventeen." She informed them.

It was quiet, too quiet.

"Cool, permanent built in birth control. You _are_ the perfect woman." Alex teased, breaking the silence.

Izzie stood up and reached over, smacking him on the head.

"What the hell was that for?" Alex asked rubbing his head.

"That was for being insensitive." She turned to Mer. "I am so sorry. That had to have been so hard for you."

"It was, and it still is, some days, but Derek said that it didn't matter to him…that there was more than one way to have a family…so…" She shrugged.

"That is all good and fine, but Mer are you planning on having a family with him? Isn't it a little too soon to worry about that?" Cristina asked, always the voice of reason.

"It is. But for the first time ever, I see myself wanting a future with someone and I needed to have everything out in the open."

"Aren't you leaving in six weeks?" George asked.

Meredith took a deep breath.

"I'm supposed to, but I think I might see about staying around here. I mean, my father owns the place. If I can't get a job here, then there is something wrong." She said.

"Nepotism at its finest. I am a proud, proud Mama." Cristina said, wiping a fake tear from her eye.

"Shut it Crackwhore." Meredith shot back.

"You first Gutterwhore." Cristina taunted.

"Ooh, I sense a catfight. Can I go get some KY first?" Alex asked.

Meredith rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Okay, okay. We have work to do people. We have to find a new Cardio God. Let's get started."

* * *

"Hey man. Where the hell have you been?"

Derek looked at Mark.

"What do you mean where have I been? I've been here, home, and…"

"Nowhere else." Mark finished. "Look, I know you are in deep with Grey and all but hello…remember me? Your best friend and confident?"

Derek looked pointedly at him.

"What did you do now?"

"Nothing, why do you think I did something?" Mark asked defensively.

"Because you usually do something.' Derek said, grinning.

"I slept with someone I probably shouldn't have slept with." He admitted.

Derek feigned shock.

"You? I never would have guessed. So, who did you do?" Derek paused. "Luke from Radiology?" He teased.

"No!" Mark blew out a breath. "I slept with Addison."

Derek blinked and then laughed.

"You're laughing? Aren't you pissed?" Mark asked, shocked.

Before Derek could answer, Addison sashayed up to them and draped herself over Mark, kissing him, while ignoring Derek.

"Hey! Good Morning Addison!" Derek said, his tone overly friendly.

Addison looked at him suspiciously.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's a greeting. Used in civilized cultures by their civilized inhabitants." Derek informed her, grinning.

"You're smiling." Why was he smiling when she was hanging all over his best friend, she wondered.

"Yeah, it's called happiness. I understand why you wouldn't recognize it." He shot back.

"Woah, woah, woah, wait, wait, wait. We're, uh, being mature about this." She said. Damn him.  
"Yes, we are going to peacefully coexist in this hospital. Unless you've reconsidered flying off with your broomstick?" He paused. "Okay then, we will peacefully coexist."

"Interesting." She said snidely, her eyes narrowed. He should be more broke up about this. He was supposed to get tired of his new whore and want her back. "You are a very strange person, Derek."

"I'm just bright and shiny, Addison. Bright and shiny!"

He looked at Mark.

"Good luck with this one, guard your loins." He told him.

He looked at Addison.

'Give my regards to Rose."

He left them exactly the way he came. Happy and smiling.

Life was good.


	32. Bathroom Sex

_Chapter 32: Bathroom Sex_

Derek froze when he walked into his bathroom. Meredith was lying in the bathtub, her eyes closed.

"You're naked." He said.

She lazily opened one eye and looked at him.

"How many people do you know take a bath with clothes on?" She asked.

"You may have a point. What are you doing?" He asked, walking closer.

"Boy, you are just full of stupid tonight, huh?' She laughed.

"Happiness has sucked all my brain cells out." Derek shrugged.

"Good thing you look like you do." She observed.

"Are you saying I am handsome?" He hinted.

"Nah, you are pretty. The kind of pretty that men in prison appreciate." She teased. "Don't ever drop the soap if you end up in jail." She advised.

Derek winced.

"That is just…wrong." He shuddered.

"Hmmm…" Meredith said, extending one long smooth leg out of the water and sliding her soapy washcloth down it. Derek swallowed and walked up to the bathtub, glancing down at her supple breasts and her beautiful hairless pussy…what? He chanced a look at Meredith, who was looking at him with a smirk on her lips.

He raised an eyebrow.

"I waxed." She said unnecessarily.

"I noticed." Derek said, clearing his throat.

Meredith glanced down his body.

"So did he." She smirked again.

"He is very observant.' He swallowed hard when she opened her legs to give him a really good look.

"Dr. Shepherd, I haven't had a gynecological exam in over a year. Would you mind taking a look for me?" She asked innocently.

Derek blinked spastically.

"Uh…um…okay?" He stuttered.

She rolled her eyes.

"It's called role playing dumbass." She moved to close her legs.

He thrust his hand in between them, effectively stopping her.

"Did I tell you to close these?" He asked, gesturing to her legs.

Meredith cocked her head.

"And just what are you going to do about it?" She asked coyly.

In a swift move, he swept her out of the tub, water sluicing from her body all over the floor and him. She wrapped her legs around him and ground against his hardening length. He groaned and lost his footing, falling against the wall.

"Ow!" Meredith complained, as her hip hit the drywall.

"Sorry." Derek grinned sheepishly as he settled her more securely against the wall, his grin changing to one of promise and want.

Meredith forgot to breathe as his dark, lustful gaze settled on her face.

"You're…um…forgiven?" She was stuttering now, as all cognitive thoughts flew out of her desire riddled brain and was now leaking out down her legs.

"Derek?" She whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me." She pleaded.

His lips sought hers out immediately, molding his soft lips to hers. His tongue swept over her bottom lip, begging for permission to enter her warm cavern. She opened her mouth. Permission granted. His tongue mingled with hers, sliding sensuously over it.

Suddenly, Meredith snapped. She buried her fingers and palms into his full head of hair and tugged, deepening their kiss. Both needed air but refused to pull apart.

"Uhhhnnn." She moaned, internally rolling her eyes at a sound she had never imagined herself making. Hell, she made fun of people who make the noise she just did. But fuck, he was so damn good at…everything. However, as his hand moved down to cup her buttocks and pull her closer to his throbbing penis, she decided she would continue to whimper like a virgin if he would continue doing whatever it was he was doing.

She took his bottom lip into her mouth, biting on it, drawing the slightest amount of blood. He pulled back, surprised. They both drew in some much needed air.

"Well, that kiss was…nice." He said breathlessly.

"Fuck me." She demanded softly.

He suddenly took her lips so savagely, knocking her head against the wall.

_Ow._

"Shit…sorry…you…okay?' He asked between kisses.

Her answer was to grip his hair tighter.

"So I am a good kisser, huh?" Derek asked, smirking.

She grabbed his hand and pressed it into her dripping wet pussy.

"What do you think?" She asked against his lips.

"I'm…shit." He groaned, rubbing her clit.

"Fuck…yeah." She instinctively moved against his hand. He dipped his fingers deep into her.

"You are so wet for me." He groaned again.

She writhed as he continued to play her like a violin, the muscles in his arms straining as he held her up and finger fucked her. God, he was talented.

She felt her body tighten as her orgasm started to barrel through her.

"God…damn." She moaned loudly as she trembled her way through her ecstasy. She breathed heavily and moistened her suddenly dry lips as his head hit the wall above her shoulder, his fingers still buried into her.

He moved them out of her, her body mourning the loss. He brought them up to his mouth and cleaned her juices off with his tongue.

Her breath caught again. God that was so fucking hot. She kissed him, tasting herself on his lips. She slid down him and fell immediately to her knees, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down. She took his long shaft into her mouth and sucked with reckless abandonment. He braced his hands on the wall to keep his leverage while she licked and sucked and fondled his manhood until he was ready to explode. He suddenly pulled her up.

"I want to cum in you." He asserted.

She nodded and wrapped one leg around his bare waist and then balancing herself, brought the other one up until she was wrapped around him. He backed her against the wall and helped position her over his now throbbing, weeping penis. She felt him there, right outside of her dripping core and dropped down onto his erection, impaling herself. That incited an open mouthed, guttural moan from him as he trailed sloppy wet kisses all over her neck. She moaned as she felt the hard wall dig into her ass, the pain adding to her pleasure. He fucked her with quick, deep thrusts, the sound of wet skin on skin resounding in the small bathroom. She felt the telltale tightening in her lower abdomen that suggested she would cum and cum hard.

"I want you to cum all over me, you understand? All the fuck over me?" He grunted.

That was all it took. His dirty talk had her screaming as her orgasm ripped through her, causing her vaginal muscles to constrict, milking his penis. She gripped his hair harder, yanking on it as the pleasure convulsed through her.

He followed her, shouting as he sprayed her walls with his essence. They both slumped against the wall, his weight holding her up against the wall. He eased back a little, still breathing hard.

"You okay?" He asked.

She looked at him smiling widely.

"I will definitely feel that in the morning." She laughed.

He lifted her up into his arms and carried her to the bed, his trembling legs barely making it. They eased under the covers and she settled into the crook of his arm.

"Will it always be like that?" She asked, looking up at him.

"Hot, hard and amazing?" He asked, waggling his eyebrows.

She lightly swatted at his arm.

"No, that connection. I have never felt that before." She admitted.

"Me neither." He told her.

"Derek?"

"Hmmm?"

"This thing I have for you…it's intense." She said.

He smiled.

"I feel exactly the same way. Now go to sleep so I can wake you up for some more sex." He demanded.

"You'd better." She said, her voice trailing off as she fell into a deep sleep.

He followed soon after, marveling about how right it felt, her being in his arms.


	33. The Girlfriend is Mad

_Chapter 33: The Girlified is Mad_

"I'm just saying. There are procedures you could look into."

Meredith looked at Derek, her expression livid.

"Yeah and while I'm at it, I can look into halitosis cures for you." She spat. "If you don't like the fact that I snore…not that I am saying I do or anything…then tell me so I can go to my bedroom instead of you sneaking out and sleeping in the guest bedroom. I woke up alone. Alone Derek. I thought being a couple meant honesty, communication, and shit. How long have you been doing that?"

He looked sheepish.

"A month." He said.

"Our whole relationship? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Derek grabbed her arm before she could storm off. She looked like she was going to bite his hand, so he pulled it away quickly.

"Meredith, Mer. Baby…I was just…I didn't want to make you mad…" He paused. "Like you are now." He muttered. "Please don't be mad at me. You just sound like…a…trucker." He said louder, looking at her, his soft smile slightly condescending.

She opened her mouth and then closed it, took a deep breath.

"1...2...3...4..."

Derek frowned.

"Are you counting?" He asked.

"5...6..."

"Seriously, are you okay? Why are you counting?" He asked.

"7...8...9..."

Derek looked at her. Her face was struggling to stay calm, but he had a feeling she was about to blow. And he was going to be a casualty. Time to make himself scarce.

"I am just going…to go. Let you have some space. I will see you later? Love you? Yeah. Bye." He walked away quickly, his face and penis intact.

She was scary when she was angry.

Hot, but scary.

* * *

"Did you get any sleep last night?"

Derek looked at Mark and sighed.

"Yes, but my sleep was interrupted by Meredith screeching at the top of her rather impressive lungs when she found me in the guest bedroom."

"That bad huh?" Mark sympathized.

"She started counting."

"Oh, yeah…that bad. She did that to me once in the OR when I made a flippant remark about a patients sexuality. She almost stabbed me with a scalpel." He made a face. "Good luck with that."

"Yeah, thanks." Derek said sarcastically.

"Man, you fell for a spitfire. Now you have to deal with it." He patted Derek's face condescendingly and walked off.

He heard a chuckle behind him. He raised an eyebrow at Bailey.

"Something you would like to add…Chief?" He asked.

"You're such a fool." She smirked.

"How so?"

"All you had to do was tell her that she snored, and it kept you awake, but no, you chose to spare her feelings and sneak around. That makes you a fool in my book."

"You broke two cardinal rules: Number one, you pissed off the girlfriend."

"And the second one?" He asked.

"You pissed off the boss. So, here is your charts from the past month. She told me to tell you they were illegible, and you needed to rewrite them. Have fun with that." She handed him his charts and walked off muttering. "When are these damn doctors going to learn to stop screwing the bosses?"

Derek looked at the charts.

"Fuck this." He muttered.

He was dealing with this now.

* * *

"Welcome to Seattle Grace. I think you will enjoy it here." Meredith said, extending her hand.

Dr. Teddy Altman stood up and took the offered limb.

"I guess I needed the change and Owen said it would be a positive step. I am just grateful for the chance to practice medicine in a place where it rains and there is no open fire or battlefields." She joked.

The door burst open and both women looked up, startled.

"I don't know what you problem is, but you can't get mad at me at home and then punish me at work. If you want the charts redone, do them yourself." He laid them down loudly on her desk and then stormed out.

Teddy looked at Meredith with wide eyes.

"Okay, I am glad to practice medicine where there is rain then. Forget the other stuff."

* * *

Derek dragged into the house and listened carefully. There were no sounds of life. He breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't want to fight with Meredith. He loved her and he knew this was an adjustment…for both of them. He felt bad for interrupting what looked like a business meeting and probably embarrassing her. Though having Bailey relay that message didn't help matters either. He would go upstairs and talk to her.

He reached their bedroom and he smiled unconsciously. Their bedroom. It sounded so right. Bailey knew what she was talking about. He should have just communicated with her. He would make it right…right now.

He slipped into the room and found her sleeping on her side. She looked so peaceful, didn't sound peaceful though. He quietly dressed in his nightclothes and went to get into bed, stopping short at what he saw.

There, lying on his pillow, was a package of wax earplugs. He smiled and chuckled softly. He got into bed and slipped them in his ears. He laid back and smiled when he realized he couldn't hear her snoring.

This was her compromise.

He loved her even more than he did this morning, if that was even possible.

He leaned over her and kissed her cheek softly and cuddled into her. She leaned back into him and grasped his hand, placing it with hers under her silken cheek.


	34. Derek the Dickhead!

_Chapter 34: Derek the Dickhead!_

"You will be fine Mr. Davis. Just take this antibiotic and come back next Sunday." Meredith said, as she escorted the patient out of the makeshift clinic in the back of the Immanuel Catholic Church. She was here for the sixth Sunday in a row, working with Derek.

"Thank you, Ms. Meredith." Mr. Davis, a kind black man, said. "Please call me Everett."

"Okay then, Everett, this should clear your infection right up." Meredith walked him out and looked at her list and called out the next name.

"Viper?" She called out, her brow furrowing. What the fuck kind of name was Viper?

"Hey."

Meredith looked up at the husky English accented voice and almost swooned.

"Are you Viper?" She asked.

"Yeah." He replied, grinning boyishly. He looked at her expectantly. "Are you going to treat me in the waiting room?" He asked.

Meredith blinked and dragged herself out of her trance.

"No! Sorry, come this way Mr. …Viper." She said.

"I answer to just Viper." He told her.

"Okay Just Viper." She laughed. She led him into the examination room and placed him in the curtained off area next to the patient Derek was treating. She could hear his sexy voice through the thin curtain.

"What can I do for you today?" She asked.

"You can do anything you want." He flirted.

She raised her eyebrow. Yes, the guy was cute but was flirting really necessary?

"What are you here for?" She tried again.

"I originally came here for this wicked road burn." He lifted his shirt for her to see the deep scrape across his abdomen. She winced looking at it. That shit looked like it hurt. "But now I am just here to see you."

"What is it with you guys and your need to dirty everything up?" She asked, exasperated. Derek and Mark had both been in rare form this week making everything perverted. Even Owen joined in once or twice. It was getting rather annoying.

"I don't know. Maybe I should get that checked out too, huh?" He suggested.

"Maybe you should. Now lift up your shirt so I can exam you." She demanded, getting her supplies together.

"You want my pants off too? Something was 'up' earlier down there." Viper joked.

Meredith was too busy coughing up the coffee she had just taken a drink of that she didn't hear Derek abruptly stop talking.

"Your shirt will be fine. How did this happen?"

"I am a bike messenger and we were in a race yesterday…"

"You were in the Dead Baby Bike Race?" She asked, fighting the urge to hit him.

"Yeah, you know it?" He asked proudly.

"Yes, my whole hospital was filled with your stupid ass friends yesterday and I imagine most of today. You all are idiots." She fumed.

"You are a rockin babe when you are angry. I bet you're a spitfire in bed, am I right?" He asked, grinning.

She rolled her eyes at his blatant interest and continued dressing his wound. She finished quickly and told him to return next week for her to check it.

"No can do." He said, hopping down from the table. "I have another race that day." He joked, winking at her.

"Fine, whatever, just don't kill yourself." She said, turning her back to him and cleaning up. She squealed when he spun her around, pulled her close to him and kissed her soundly.

"That's for luck." He told her, walking out whistling. She watched him leave, still stunned. She was all for shock value but damn…

She heard the curtain fly back and looked up to find Derek glaring at her.

"You make out with patients now?" He asked incredulously.

Meredith blushed.

"What? Are you jealous?" She asked, her tone sheepish.

"I don't get jealous." He defended.

The patient, a thirty something mother of three named Danielle, raised her eyebrow.

Meredith stifled a laugh and schooled her expression.

"Really? Cause you sound like you might be." She told him.

"I do not!" Derek ranted.

"You kinda do." Danielle told him quietly.

He looked at her.

"I don't get jealous." He said firmly, stalking away from both of them and slamming the door.

"He so is." Meredith said.

"Oh yeah." Danielle agreed.

* * *

"I can't believe you kissed him." Derek fumed, shaking his head as he threw the car in park and got out.

Meredith threw her head back against the seat and groaned. She got out of the car and met him at the door.

"I didn't kiss him. He kissed me." She hissed.

"Same thing." He said, looking straight ahead at the door.

It opened, and Carolyn looked at them in confusion.

"Why are you two standing outside in the rain?" She asked. "Come in and get warm." She demanded, ushering them in the warm house.

Meredith slipped off her coat and turned to say something to Derek, but he just brushed past her without a word.

Carolyn looked at him in speculation.

"Don't ask." Meredith begged, hoping this day was over quickly.

* * *

"Hey can you please pass the potatoes?" Meredith asked Derek gently.

He ignored her.

Meredith noticed everyone glancing at each other and she sighed.

"Here Mer." Amber said, reaching over Derek and handing her the bowl.

Meredith smiled at Amber.

"Thank you." She said softly. She spooned them on her plate but just pushed them around suddenly without an appetite. How could she make this better when she didn't know whether she had done anything wrong?

"Derek." She started, tugging at his shirt sleeve.

He jerked his arm away from her and resumed his conversation with Mike.

Okay, that was it.

She stood up, placed her hands on the table and announced loudly, "I didn't kiss him. He kissed me. It is not the same thing. I didn't kiss him back, I didn't ask him to kiss me, I didn't want him to kiss me. The only person I want to kiss is acting like a giant peen right now and I am not going to put up with it. Either you trust me, or you don't. Right now, I don't give a crap because you are like a big ass baby."

Everyone looked at her and back at Derek, who was leaning back in his seat and glaring at her.

"How would you know what a baby acts like, considering you can't have any?" He said.

Meredith froze. She felt tears well up in her eyes.

Derek stood up quickly, his hand reaching out to her.

"Oh Mer, I am so sorry. I didn't mean that." He said to her, his eyes pleading.

She backed quickly away from him. She glanced quickly at his family who all sat in stunned silence.

"Yeah, so much for it being alright with you, huh?" She nodded listlessly. "Mrs. Shepherd, it was a pleasure. Everyone, I am not feeling so good right now. Amber, can you please take me home?" She asked, her voice calm.

Amber nodded and got up, squeezing Derek's arm on her way to Meredith.

"Mer, I will take you home." Derek said, his voice shaky.

Meredith looked at him and saw the remorse in his eyes, but she couldn't bring herself to care right now.

"I'm not going home." Was all she said, as she walked out the door, leaving him crestfallen behind her.

"Derek, what just happened?" Carolyn asked.

"I think I just broke her heart." He whispered.

"Well, what the hell are you waiting for? Go fix it!" She exclaimed.

"She can't have kids?" Nancy asked.

"Shut up Nancy." Derek said.

"Nice of you to throw it up in her face Der." Mia said snarkily.

"Oh god. What am I going to do?" He asked.

"Apparently stand there all night." Kathleen said, rolling her eyes.

Carolyn got up and walked over to him, placing her hands on either side of his face, gripping hard.

"You need to get your ass in gear and go after that girl. She is the best thing to ever happen to you and I will be pissed if you mess this up. Now, go!"

"I have to go find her.' He said, finally able to move from his frozen state.

"Good idea Dear." Carolyn said, watching him rush out the door.

* * *

Amber looked sideways at Meredith, who had her arms wrapped around her knees and was rocking back and forth staring at nothing, her eyes glazed over.

"Mer? Where are we going?" She asked softly.

"Take me to a hotel. The Archfield is fine." She said.

Amber nodded.

"You know, my brother doesn't mean to be a dickhead. He just…he got jealous and Derek runs off at the mouth when he feels threatened. He didn't mean it. He loves you Mer."

Meredith laughed harshly.

"He certainly has a way of showing it." She said.

"He…"

"Please Amber, just drop it."

Silence filled the car until they arrived at their destination. Meredith got out and shut the door. Amber rolled down the window.

"Meredith, do you want me to come up with you?" She asked.

"I just want to be alone. But thanks for offering. I will see you later." She said.

"You'd better." Amber told her.

Amber watched Meredith walk away. Derek had better find a way to fix this or the sisters would get involved and he so didn't want that to happen.


	35. Trying to Fix This

_Chapter 35: Trying to Fix This_

"Pick up, pick up." Derek chanted as he called Meredith's cell phone for the fourth time. It went to her voice mail.

"Mer, God, Mer…please…I know I fucked up…I didn't mean it…please you have to believe me, I didn't mean it. I love you so much and it doesn't matter to me…I was just so damn jealous and afraid that someone could take you away from me…I know, that's stupid, I know that I am stupid…I just…can't live without you. Please, please call me back. I love you. Bye."

He hung up and continued driving like a bat out of hell. He pushed speed dial 3 on his phone and waited.

"Amber? Thank God. Where did you take her? Don't give me that shit. I need to talk to her. Yes, I tried her cell, do you think I'm stupid? Very funny Amber, yes, I know that was stupid of me. I know. I said, I know! Amber, please. Please. I love her. Yeah, I know I fucked up; you don't think I knew that the instant it came out of my mouth? Damn it Amber, tell me where she is! The Archfield? What room? What do you mean you don't know? Yes, I know if I hadn't opened my big, fat jealous mouth she would be home with me. I will. I promise I will make it better. Thanks, bye."

He threw his phone on the passenger seat and sped off towards the hotel.

* * *

Meredith pressed ignore on her cell phone again and curled up into a ball on the king-sized hotel bed. She felt like crying but was too numb to actually do so. She couldn't believe she trusted him to actually tell her the truth about how he really felt about her condition. She had bought all of his, I love you, it doesn't matter, we will buy some fucking kids if we have too. It was all bullshit.

He wanted kids and she couldn't give them to him. Point blank, end of fucking story.

She wondered if her dad could get out here yet. She needed to get out of here. Go back to Boston and pretend she never came to Seattle, pretend she never met Derek, pretend she never fell in love. Derek wouldn't be a blip on her radar.

Yeah. That would be easy. She would just avoid him until then.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

She sighed. Maybe not.

* * *

Derek ran out of the elevator on the 12th floor looking for room number 18. He came to it and pounded on the door. It had taken a lot of begging and a tip of one hundred dollars to get her room number.

"Meredith? Mer?"

Silence.

"Please, Mer. Open up."

Silence.

"I love you and I am so sorry Baby. I didn't mean it, I swear. I am perfectly fine with not having children. I was just jeal…"

The door wrenched open and Meredith stood before him looking angry, frustrated, resigned and worst of all, hurt. He had done that to her.

"Mer." He breathed, reaching for her.

She moved away from him, glaring.

"What the fuck do you want Derek?" She asked.

Derek blinked. He had never heard her voice sound like that.

"You. Always, you." He told her.

"Yeah, well you had me. And now you don't. So go to your house and leave me alone. I will get my things out tomorrow when you are at work." She told him, moving to slam the door in his face. He stopped her with his hand on the door.

"Please don't do that. Just give me a chance to…"

"To what? Explain? Beg? Prove how much you love me?" She asked, her voice harsh.

He nodded.

"You had that chance. I trusted you with a truth I had never shared with anyone and you threw it back in my face. Yeah, you were jealous. So what? That gives you no right to do that to me. I didn't do anything. I didn't kiss that fucking guy. He kissed me." She told him.

"I know. I'm sor…"

She held a hand up.

"I don't give a shit how sorry you are. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that I came here, I'm sorry I moved in your house, I'm sorry I am your boss and most of all, I am sorry I met you. Now get out of my way or lose a limb." She said, her eyes flashing.

He backed away slowly, his eyes pleading with her. With one last sad look, she closed the door firmly in his face, locking it with a definitive click. He swallowed the lump in his throat, fought his tears.

"I am not giving up Meredith." He yelled through the door. "I will not let you go. You are mine. You love me, I know you do. We belong together. I am not giving up!"

More silence.

Derek turned his back to the door and banged his head against it, looked around and then slid down the door. He could wait her out.

Meredith listened through the door. She had heard him yell through the door and then a banging sound and then silence.

Maybe he had given up. Didn't take long, she thought bitterly. He had probably gone back to Addison, who still had her uterus.

She slid down her door and rested her head on her knees. How could something so perfect go so wrong in so little time?

Because apparently, there was no such thing as perfect.

Just like there was no such thing as love.


	36. Missing You

_Chapter 36: Missing You_

"What the hell is all this shit?" Cristina complained as she walked into Meredith's office.

Meredith looked up from her paperwork and glanced distastefully at her belongings.

"It's my shit." She told her bluntly.

"I know it's your shit. The question is why is it here instead of at Casa de la McDreamy?" Cristina asked.

Meredith shot Cristina a withering glare.

"McDreamy, my ass." Meredith muttered.

Cristina looked at Meredith in confusion.

"Trouble in paradise?" She asked.

"It's over." Meredith said, focusing again on her paperwork.

"What's over?" Cristina asked.

Meredith sighed loudly and glared at Cristina.

"We are over. As in finished, finito, no more Meredith and Derek. Get it?"

"What happened?" Cristina asked.

"Don't you have work to do?" Meredith asked pointedly.

"It can wait." Cristina said.

"No it can't. Please go and operate on your patients and leave me to my paperwork." Meredith demanded, her tone leaving no room for argument.

"Grouchy much?" Cristina snarked.

"Go!" Meredith yelled.

Cristina rolled her eyes and left.

Meredith looked at the closed door and let out a breath. She looked around again at her cluttered office. She had brought it here two days ago after moving out of his, well her, house. She hadn't seen him since that night at the hotel, choosing instead to pass messages through Alex, Mark and Bailey. She decided to stay here instead of a hotel. She got more work done that way.

Cristina was the first one who had asked any questions, the rest choosing to mind their own business. She didn't have a clue what she was doing. She wasn't supposed to feel this way, was she? Once a relationship was over, weren't you supposed to just forget? If not, then what does one do to forget? Forget the faith, the hope, the laughs, the blind fucking trust you had with that person? If there wasn't anything out there, she would market something and make a fuckload of money. The cure for the broken heart.

She glanced at the clock on her desk. 7:21 pm.

No wonder Cristina looked at her oddly. She was probably headed out for the day when she had stopped by to see her. Meredith felt badly about how she had talked to her friend. She decided to see if she could find her at Joe's. Meredith could use a drink, or twenty. She gathered her coat and headed out her door, locking it behind her. She went to wait for the elevator, noticing that the hospital was quiet, as most of the staff had dispersed for the evening. She vaguely heard the elevator ding indicating that it had arrived at her floor. Keeping her gaze on the floor she entered the elevator and once she was facing the doors, she pushed for floor one. The doors closed with a whoosh and she froze, for she felt tiny electric jolts awash over her skin. She only felt that in his presence. She bit her lip to stifle her moan.

She kept her eyes focused on the door, willing the elevator to move quicker. She heard a rustle behind her, the only sound in the stilted silence. She felt him coming closer to her until she felt his breath on her neck. She tried to stifle her shiver, but to no avail. She swallowed against the lump lodged in her throat. She would not cry, she would not cave.

She heard him sigh, the air expelling out of his mouth washing over her sensitive skin in a rush.

"I miss you." He said softly.

She drew in a shaky breath as she felt his head lean against hers for a split second, heard him breathe her hair in.

She heard the blessed ding once again, breathing a sigh of relief.

"It doesn't change anything." She said, fleeing as the doors opened.

She walked away without looking back, not sure if she could stomach the devastation she would see if she did.

She had to move forward. It was too dangerous for her heart to go back.

* * *

"I need the whole bottle of tequila, Joe, and a shot glass." Meredith demanded, as she sat down at the bar next to Cristina.

He raised an eyebrow, but did as she asked. She threw back the first shot gratefully. She glanced towards Cristina, who was staring straight ahead stoically.

"Do we have to do the thing where someone apologizes, someone cries and there is a moment…" Meredith said.

"Ugh." Cristina replied, stifling a smile.

Meredith sighed.

"Good." She said in relief.

Cristina scrutinized Meredith.

"You should get some sleep, you look like crap."

Meredith looked at her, offended.

"I look better than you."

Cristina chuckled.

"That's not possible."

They stayed silent for a long moment.

"Do I really look that bad?" Meredith asked.

"You look…sad, like someone kicked your puppy and strung him up over your bed, dripping blood all over your sheets." She said.

Meredith looked at Cristina oddly. Cristina looked back at her.

"What?" Cristina barked.

"You didn't get hugged much as a child, did you?" Meredith asked.

"I don't like people touching me." Cristina said.

"Well, you need a hug or a cookie or something." Meredith muttered, downing another shot.

"As do you." Cristina said.

"Touche."

"Do you think men are born to be fucking morons?" Cristina asked suddenly.

"Yes, I believe it is a given if you have a XY chromosome." Meredith agreed.

"What exactly have you done to my guy?"

Meredith turned around on her stool and glanced, bored, at Mark. She looked to Cristina.

"My case in point." She told her.

Cristina laughed.

"Mind your own business and I won't tell anyone you have seen Derek's peen. Okay?" She said, smiling fakely and turning back to face the bar.

"That would be a lie. I have never seen Derek's…penis. That is just…sick Grey." Mark said, disgusted.

"Let me refresh your memory. Hallway, you, me and Dickwad, cell phone pictures. Ring a bell?" She asked.

"I remember seeing a picture of girl parts and then you walked away and…oh, gross." Mark said, swallowing back what Meredith swore was vomit.

She patted his back.

"Yeah, good times. From what I hear you should be really jealous." She said, knocking back some more tequila.

She heard Mark walk away. She felt Cristina looking at her.

"Nice. Just when I think you are boring, you rise." She smirked.

* * *

"Well, what did she say?" Derek asked eagerly as Mark sat back down next to him.

Mark looked at Derek, then Derek's lap, back at Derek and then shuddered, muttering something about, 'sick bitch'.

"What is wrong with you?" Derek asked.

"I am sitting here, thoroughly disgusted over the fact that I have seen your junk. There is something seriously fucked up about that bitch." Mark fumed.

"Don't call her a bitch." Derek warned.

"She sent me a pic of your dick man. I have managed to make it almost thirty five years without that fucking image and now it is immortalized on my fucking phone." Mark griped.

"Why the hell is it still on your phone?" Derek asked.

Mark looked uncomfortable.

"Oh God. Mark are you gay? Not that there is anything wrong with it if you are, just I don't swing that way. But I am here for you. I am down with the rainbow." Derek said, his tone supportive.

"Fuck no, I am not gay! Just because I have a picture of your dick on my phone, it does not make me gay!" Mark yelled in his own defense.

The bar quieted.

"Oh God, how loud did I just say that?" Mark whispered.

"Pretty fucking loud." Derek told him.

"What the fuck are you all looking at?" Mark yelled. "You can have man love and not be gay. Get your fucking minds out of the gutters."

The noise resumed around them.

"What the hell am I going to do? She won't talk to me." Derek asked, thrusting his hand through his hair and glancing at the bar at Meredith laughing loudly and getting piss drunk.

"Forget her. I can help you with that."

Derek groaned.

"Addison, go away. I don't need your type of help."

Addison ignored him and sat down next to him.

"Derek, we used to be so good together and I can give you what you want, what you have always wanted. A family. She can't."

Derek looked at Addison.

"What did you just say?" He asked her.

"I heard the illustrious Dr. Grey is barren. So sad, really. Oh well someone who dresses and acts like she does, shouldn't be allowed to procreate so I feel it is natural selection." Addison shrugged, leaning closer to his ear and whispering.

"How the fuck can you sit there and say something like that, you evil bitch. You had better not throw that up in her face or I will make you sorry." Derek threatened.

"Isn't that what you did?" Addison asked.

Derek froze. She was right. How could he stand there on his soapbox when he had made the same transgression?

"Yeah. But I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her." He stood up and shook her off of him. He looked back down at her. "And if it was natural selection, you would be dead right now. God doesn't take kindly to bisexual cheaters either."

He shot one last look at Meredith, who was looking at him with a hurt expression. He nodded at her and walked out of the door.

Derek had a lot of work to do


	37. I Knew I Loved You

_Chapter 37: I Knew I Loved You_

"If you come back here again, I will be forced to stick this bouquet of roses up your ass thorn side up. Get what I am saying?"

Meredith rushed to the door to intercept.

"Cristina really!" She admonished. She smiled softly at Andy, the flower delivery guy.

"Sorry, she has just been in a really bad mood for thirty years." She apologized. She pressed a tip into his hand. He nodded at Meredith, looked apprehensively at Cristina and bolted out the door.

"Bye." Meredith called out before turning and glaring at Cristina.

'Was that really necessary?" Meredith asked her.

"Have you seen this place?" Cristina complained, indicating her living room. "It looks like a funeral parlor in here."

Meredith glanced around.

"It's not his fault or mine for that matter. I didn't tell him to buy out every damn flower in Seattle." She said, plucking the new vase of roses, pink this time, from Cristina and looking for a place to set them. Every available space was filled with flowers, different kinds, colors and sizes. She finally gave up and set them on the floor by the end table. She plopped down on the couch and grimaced.

"He's not very original, is he?" Cristina observed.

Meredith shrugged.

'What does that card say?" She asked.

"Probably the same thing they all do. Please forgive me, I didn't mean it, I love you, I'm sorry, yada yada yada." Meredith rolled her eyes.

"You haven't read any of them?" Cristina asked.

Meredith shook her head.

Cristina looked around once again and walked over to sit down next to Meredith.

"Maybe you should forgive him." She advised.

Meredith shot her a withering glare.

"Come on. No guy goes through this much trouble and expense if he didn't mean it. He looks like shit, you look like shit…why don't you sit down and talk to him. Work it out. Stop sleeping on my couch."

"You offered!" Meredith exclaimed.

"Yes, I did. But that was before I realized how fucking stubborn you are. Look, just start by reading the cards. I am going to bed." Cristina patted her on her leg and then stood up. She looked down at her. "Then donate the flowers to the nearest church or nursing home. I am sick of looking at all the happy colors. Why couldn't he have bought black?" She asked, laughing a little.

"I don't know. Maybe he thought that was depressing." Meredith shrugged.

"Good night Mer."

"Night Cris."

Meredith heard the door shut softly and focused on all forty two vases of flowers. She sighed and got up and gathered all the cards tucked in them. She sat down and started reading them…one by one.

_I knew I loved you when you gave me an impromptu lap dance in front of all of our colleagues and my then girlfriend._

_I knew I loved you when you sassed me the first time._

_I knew I loved you when you sassed Addison the first time…and the second…and the third._

_I knew I loved you when you walked in on me in the shower._

_I knew I loved you when I saw what you were wearing, or rather were not wearing, that day._

_I knew I loved you when I text you a picture of my…parts._

_I knew I loved you when you text me a picture of your…parts._

_I knew I loved you when you text a picture of my parts to Mark. That was wrong by the way. He still has that on his phone._

_I knew I loved you when you comforted me when Addison hurt me._

_I knew I loved you the first time we made love…and every time thereafter._

_I knew I loved you when you volunteered at the free clinic._

_I knew I loved you when you had dinner with my family and they loved you too._

_I knew I loved you when you smiled at me._

_I knew I loved you when I realized you snore._

_I knew I loved you when I realized your hair isn't just pink, but green, orange, purple, red, black and blue._

_I knew I loved you when you blurted out your deepest darkest secret._

_I knew I loved you when I realized I didn't care about your medical condition. And I don't._

_I knew I loved you when I told you I loved you . And I meant it._

And it went on and on and on…forty two cards with that on it, handwritten personally in his slightly illegible scrawl.

When she finished, she placed them next to her and wrapped her arms around her knees and rocked back and forth.

It was too much.

Too much anger.

Too much sadness.

Too much uncertainty.

Too much love.

That was the one constant. The love. Through it all, she still had that undeniable feeling.

She still loved him.

She looked at the clock. He was probably still at work. She could go talk to him…just talk.

She chewed on her lip, tasting blood as she bit harder than she intended. She looked up trying to keep her tears at bay, blinking rapidly.

She could wait until tomorrow. She needed time to prepare...her mind and her heart.

* * *

Derek threw his surgical mask in the waste bin and braced his hands on the metal edges of the sink and wiped his mouth on the shoulder of his scrubs.

He was exhausted. Emotionally and physically exhausted. His wallet was kind of exhausted too. Forty-two bouquets of flowers cost a pretty penny, not to mention the tip and the extra pay to the delivery guy for the abuse Yang was heaping on him. The poor guy had sought him out the first time it happened and told him he feared for his life. It took a lot of convincing for him to continue.

So far, no response. Nothing. Nada. No indication that Meredith knew he was alive.  
He felt…empty. Gone. Dead to all emotion.

His heart was aching, or rather the place where his heart used to reside was aching.

One jealous fit and he had alienated the one person he couldn't live without.

He was in Hell. He was a man burning in Hell. Only he felt like he was the Devil himself. The look in her eyes, on her face was engrained into his eyeballs. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw that look…the loss of faith, the loss of trust in him.

He had one more thing to do to prove how he felt. One more last-ditch effort. Something that was over the top, yes, but necessary in his opinion.

He looked at his watch. He needed to get some sleep before carrying out his plan tomorrow.

He was going to get through to her.

If it was the last thing, he did

* * *

**What do you think Derek's big plan is?**


	38. Where Has Derek Been?

_Chapter 38: Where Has Derek Been?_

Meredith stood at her office window and stared out at the gloomy Seattle sky that was threatening to erupt into rainfall at any minute.

Three days.

Three days since she had made the decision to talk to Derek. She had gotten to work that morning and found a note in his familiar handwriting saying he was taking some personal days and Jim Nelson aka Shadow Shepherd was taking over in his absence. She was worried he might be really sick or maybe someone in his family, because no one left Shadow Shepherd in charge if they could help it. The guy was an idiot. Who knew who he was blowing to keep his job.

The flowers had stopped too, as if he had given up.

Her heart stuttered at the thought of him giving up on her. After all, it was not her fault they were in this mess. He should have engaged his brain, before opening his mouth. Served him right to suffer.

But now she was worried. No one had heard from him; not Mark, not Bailey, hell she had even asked Firecrotch if she had spoken to him. After giving her a weird look, Addison had sneered and told her no.

She sighed and looked outside again.

She decided that if he wouldn't come to her, she would go to him.

Today was the day when, either they parted ways for good or found a way to work things out.

Decision time had come upon them.

* * *

Meredith threw the car in park and took a deep breath. She needed a whole hell of a lot of courage for this. She had never had to try to work through a relationship, since this was her first foray into one. She was more the leave when the going got tough kind of girl. She took one last breath and got out of the car. She was relieved to see his car in the garage.

She paused before knocking.

What if he had company? What if it was another woman? One who could give him what he wanted, like she had always hoped for him? He hadn't talked to her in three days. Maybe he had moved on. She wouldn't blame him, would she?

She couldn't do this. She had to protect what defenses she had while she could. She turned around to run for her car and bolted down the stairs.

"Meredith?"

She froze. Her breath caught. She hadn't heard his voice in two weeks and it still made shivers run down her spine. She pasted a neutral expression on and turned to face him.

"He…" She cleared her throat. "Hey."

His eyes were searching as if he were tuning into her feelings. That kind of blatant scrutiny always made her uncomfortable.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

Oh. He didn't want her here. Her heart dropped and it took everything she had to not to burst into tears.

"You weren't at work and I…everyone was worried and I wanted to make sure you were still alive. You are, so I will just…go. Please let Bailey know when you are coming back." Looking at his cool expression, she made a snap decision. "I…um…I am trying to get my dad to come so I can leave…go home…to Boston. He will probably be here next week sometime so…I guess…this is it. For what it's worth, I am glad I met you. You are a wonderful man and I know you will make some woman very happy someday." A tear slipped unbidden down her cheek. "Goodbye Derek." She turned around without looking at his face and rushed off into the pouring rain.

She got far enough to get soaked before a steel-like vise wrapped around her torso and made her stop dead in the tracks.

"Where do you think you are going?" Derek whispered into her ear.

"I told you…home."

"You are home."

"Please, let me go." She pleaded, struggling against his grip.

"Never." He said sternly. "I am never letting you go."

Relief, exhaustion, happiness were just some of the emotions coursing through her body causing her to collapse into his arms.

"Whoa, okay, I've got you. You are going to be okay; we are going to be okay." He murmured to her, picking her up and carrying her into his house. He laid her on the couch.

"I will be right back. I am just going to get us some towels. Don't move." His lips ghosted upon her forehead and she felt bereft when he disappeared. He was back instantly, and he immediately started to vigorously rub her with the towel.

"You are soaked. You left a few things here when you…" He paused. "…when you left. Why don't I help you upstairs and you can take a bath and warm up? Then we can talk." He suggested.

She nodded.

That is how she found herself soaking in fragrant bath water in his bathroom. The same bathroom she had fucked him senseless in not six weeks ago. She knew she was delaying the inevitable. He had stopped her from running but is she what he really wanted?

She heard a discreet knock on the door.

"Clothes are laid out on the bed Mer. I will be downstairs waiting for you when you get done. Don't hurry on my account. I am not going anywhere." He told her through the door.

She wiped another wayward tear off her face and sighed. She could do this. She got out, dried off and was dressed and downstairs in five minutes.

She could do this.

She found him on the couch, and he was so beautiful, so wonderful, so perfectly imperfect that her heart ached. His eyes, so cerulean, were filled with hope. Like everything came down to her and her decision.

She puttered over to him and sat down gingerly next to him on the couch.

"I…" She started.

"Do…" He said.

They both laughed nervously.

"You go first." He said.

"You hurt me." She said quietly.

"I know. I'm sorry." He said.

'So you've said. And I believe you. Cause the Derek I know wouldn't hurt me like that, he wouldn't throw something so painful up in my face. I believe that you were angry and jealous, maybe hurt, but my Derek would never have said it in the first place and that man in your mother's house that night was not my Derek. I don't even know who that Derek was, but I don't ever want to see him again. I confided in you because I loved you and never in my wildest nightmares did, I think you were capable of such pettiness. But I was wrong." She looked up at the ceiling as if that gave her answers.

His voice made her focus.

"I am so very sorry I hurt you Mer. That was never my intention."

"Yes, it was. You were hurt and you wanted me to hurt as well. And you succeeded. Do you know that I haven't noticed any other man since I met you? Do you not realize how big that is for me? I let you meet my mother. No straight man has ever made it that far. No man, especially not a bike messenger named Viper, would ever get me to leave you. The only person who could ever do that, is you."

He hung his head.

"And I succeeded. Now what?" He asked.

"Now, you decide. Is my condition something you truly can live with? If it isn't let me know now. I can't invest anymore of myself into you and have you wake up one morning in ten years and decide I wasn't worth all you gave up to be with me. My heart cannot take it Derek."

"It doesn't bother me in the least." He said.

"How do I know you are telling the truth? Hell, how do you know?" I ranted, getting up to pace the living room.

"Living without you is something I can't do. I have tried it these last few weeks and it sucks. So, I decided to prove it to you."

Something in his tone made her stop and look at him.

"Oh, what did you do?" She asked.

"I decided if you can't have kids, then I shouldn't be able to either."

She stood there, not comprehending what he was saying.

"Three days ago, I got a vasectomy."

* * *

**What do you this about Derek's decision to have a vasectomy?**


	39. Meredith's Reaction

_Chapter 39: Meredith's Reaction_

"I…I'm sorry…Something must be wrong with my hearing. I thought I just heard you say that you went and got a doctor to perform a vasectomy on you. But that is just fucking crazy, right?"

"No, you actually heard me right."

"Why the fuck would you do something like that? Are you fucking mental?" She exploded.

Derek cringed. This was not going how he had imagined it would.

"No, if you can't have children, then I decided I shouldn't be able to." He told her quietly.

"But why? You had a choice. And you chose fucking wrong! So, go back and get it reversed. Now." She yelled.

Derek jumped up off the couch and stalked over to where she was standing.

"No! I won't reverse it. And you can't make me." He yelled back.

Meredith rolled her eyes. All he needed was to stomp his foot, stick out his tongue and say 'So there' and he would be a four year old instead of a forty year old.

"You know, some woman is going to be so fucking pissed when she realizes she met the perfect man and he went and got a fucking surgery that rendered him infertile for an old girlfriend he knew for two fucking god damned months." She told him, her voice starting off quiet and reaching high decibels at the end.

Derek wanted to shake this beautiful stubborn woman. He looked up towards the heavens to hopefully get some patience. He looked back at her, where she was tapping her foot and had her hands on her hips. And he lost it.

"When the fuck are you going to get it through that stubborn fucking head of yours, that I don't want anyone but you? You crazy, beautiful, stubborn woman! You are my future. You are the woman that I dream of waking up to each morning and going to bed with each night. You are the woman I want to fight with. The woman I want to work with. The woman I want to make love to. The woman I want to adopt children with. I don't care if you can't have children because now, I can't have children. And I am completely and totally fine with that. It was the easiest decision I have ever made other than choosing to fall in love with you and even then, I didn't even have to choose to do it. It just happened and I am so fucking…happy that I did that. That I fell in love with you. I am happy, damnit!" He ranted.

Meredith looked at him, stunned and then she did the last thing he ever expected her to do in that moment.

She laughed.

He looked at her warily wondering if maybe he had put her over the edge.

She must have caught on to his confusion.

"You just…said…happy…and you don't sound it." She gasped, still laughing maniacally.

He smiled and hesitantly pulled her into his arms.

"I am happy. I can make you happy without us having children of our own." He told her.

She stopped laughing and buried her head into his neck. He shivered slightly as her warm breath caressed his clavicle.

"Even so, we could still have a child that looks like you. Don't you want that? So please, see if they can reverse it and maybe if this works out, we can hire a surrogate and if it doesn't at least…you will have a…shot…with someone else. No pun intended." She said, her words somewhat muffled as she was still was hiding her face.

He pulled her back and led her to the couch. He put his fingers under her chin to bring it up so she was forced to look in his eyes.

"I don't want a child that looks like me, if there is no way it can look like you. Have you heard anything I have said to you? This is not a problem. You are making it one. Now, I have done this, I am not reversing it, I don't want anyone else but you and that is final. Live with it." He said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Of course, this was Meredith they were talking about.

"You had a fucking choice Derek and you have chosen the path to ruin your fucking life. What would your mom think? Your sisters?"

"First of all, they know. Ma and Amber took me to the appointment. Secondly, I already told you, I chose you. I don't want children if I can't have them with you. You are my future. Remember what I told you two months ago in your car?" He asked.

She nodded.

"There is more than one way to have a family." She said quietly.

"Yes. We will have a family. We can help some child who needs a loving home with two parents who love each other. We can adopt a whole army of kids if you want." He told her.

She looked searchingly at him.

"Do you really mean that? You would give up the option of having biological children for the chance to make a family with kids that have no genetic ties to you?"

"I know what adoption means Meredith, and yes, to me it makes no difference about genetics. Just means that our children have no chance of getting my nose." He shrugged.

She cracked a grin.

"I happen to like your nose." She said, reaching up to touch it gently.

"I'm sure especially when it is between your…"

She put a hand over his mouth, effectively shutting him up. His eyes twinkled with merriment.

"This is no time to relive our sexy lust. This is a serious conversation." She admonished.

"Don't make any sudden moves." He teased, his eyes darting back and forth and then focusing on her face and smiling.

She caressed her bottom lip with her teeth. He was too damn sexy for his own good and for all intents and purposes, he wanted her. He wanted to be with her and make a family with her.

"You seriously won't consider getting it reversed?" She tried one last time.

Derek sighed.

"No. It's done." He said.

"And you call me stubborn." She muttered.

Derek grinned widely.

"Fine. It's your penis. I just play with it." She shrugged.

"Wanna play with it now?" He asked hopefully.

"Serious conversation Derek." She reminded him.

"Oh, right. Sorry." He said, trying to look serious.

She sighed.

"So now what?" She asked.

"Now, you come back home. Get the hell away from Yang and her toxic advice."

"Toxic advice? But she told me to forgive you." Meredith teasingly shrugged.

"Brilliant advice. Yang is brilliant." Derek immediately backtracked.

Meredith laughed.

"Okay, I will come home, but that doesn't mean I have forgiven you totally. You still seriously messed up and I don't know if I trust you but I want to trust you and I believe we can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart and I want to be ex…"

His lips cut her off as he pulled her to him, kissing her hungrily. She moaned. God, she had missed this. This…this closeness, this contentment. His hand came down from cupping her face to cupping her breast.

"Whoa, whoa, down boy. There are some rules." She told him, removing his hand from her boobs.

"Rules?" He asked, his eyes suspicious.

"Hey it was your big fat mouth that got you in this mess." She shrugged.

"Okay. So, rules. Great!" He faked his enthusiasm.

"Okay first off, no sex." She said.

"Why?" He whined.

"What are you, five?" She asked, exasperated.

"Apparently so, as I didn't get laid when I was five either." He told her.

"I would hope not. Okay, so no sex." She saw him cringe. He was such a guy.

"For how long?" He asked frowning. He did not like this at all.

"Until I can wrap my head around all of this. I mean you got your dick snipped. Most guys run away from the scissors, you run towards them and hold your peen out and say here, I don't need my swimmers to work. Snip me." She said sarcastically.

He just shrugged.

"You know I would have forgiven you without doing that, right?" She said solemnly.

His face softened.

"I know." He said. "I still wanted to do it. Consider it an act of solidarity."

"So if I got cancer and lost all my hair from the treatment, you would shave your hair?" She asked doubtfully.

"No. Sorry, my penis is one thing, my hair is something else entirely. I would buy you a really great wig." He said seriously.

Meredith laughed.

"Okay the next rule." He said, sighing in acceptance.

"Hmmm…I actually hadn't gotten that far." She thought for a second. "Nope, I got nothing."

"How about this…we always are completely honest with each other and we don't run. No fucking running…ever. We stay, we stick, we work through it." He suggested.

"So you want to write these rules down and sign them? There is a blue post it over on the table." She said, her tone sarcastic.

"No, besides who the hell would try to pass a post it off as a legal document?" He asked.

"Beats me. Probably some insane person." She quipped.

"So you are moving back in with me?" He asked.

"Yes, and I think under the circumstances that I should…"

"No, absolutely fucking not. You are not staying in the spare bedroom. You are sleeping with me. I haven't slept well in two god damn weeks. Now, get that rule out of your stubborn head." He said, emphatically.

"Um…okay. I was actually going to say that I should move all my things in your bedroom since we are going to really make this work. But thanks for beating me to the punch." She told him.

"Oh." He grinned sheepishly. "Sorry."

"Um…can I ask you something?" She asked.

He raised his eyebrow.

"Does it hurt? Your penis? Is it in pain?" She asked, looking at the covered bulge in his jeans.

"If I said yes, would you kiss it?" He asked slyly.

She narrowed her eyes.

"Okay, okay, no sex, apparently of any kind." He relented.

She patted him on the head.

"Good boy, there is hope for you yet."

He growled.

She laughed.

Yeah, they were going to be alright.


	40. Meeting Richard

_Chapter 40: Meeting Richard_

"So, you are the one that made my little girl cry."

Derek looked up, confused.

"I'm sorry?" He said to the African American man standing and glaring at him.

"You should be. Now what the hell did you do to my daughter?" He asked.

"Who is your daughter?" Derek asked. He racked his brain thinking of the last person he could've offended that looked like this man…personally and professionally.

"You mean, you don't know?" The man raised an eyebrow. "You have so many women that you can't differentiate between them?"

"No sir." Derek said.

"No, you don't have too many women or no sir I don't know who your daughter is?" The man persisted.

"Um…I…um…who are you?" Derek asked, flustered.

"Who am I? Who am I? Let me tell you who I am. I am…"

"Daddy, leave my boyfriend alone." Meredith strolled past the man and kissed Derek on his cheek. "Sorry, I pointed you out and he got to the elevator first." She told him.

"Derek Shepherd meet Dr. Richard Webber, my father for all intents and purposes." She introduced them.

Derek extended his hand and Richard glared at it.

"Daddy…" Meredith said warningly.

Richard grudgingly grasped Derek's hand but squeezed it roughly. Derek fought the urge to wince.

"Richard stop pissing all over Meredith." Ellis said, rolling her eyes and smiling at her husband's macho display. "Hello Derek. You are looking well." She said, kissing him on his cheek.

"Thanks. You are looking lovely as ever Ellis." Derek said charmingly.

Richard rolled his eyes.

"So, Mom and Daddy wanted to do dinner with us. So, I invited them to our house tonight. Is that okay?" Meredith asked Derek.

"Yes, Derek, is that okay with you?" Richard asked.

"Of course it is. I can't wait." He said, faking enthusiasm.

"Me neither." Richard said.

"Great! I have to finish showing Daddy around. So, I will catch up with you later." Meredith said, kissing Derek on his lips.

"Yes Derek, we will catch up with you later." Richard promised, still glaring.

"Richard. Go over there." Ellis said, pushing him out of the way.

She waited until he was out of earshot.

"He is all bark and no bite. Don't worry. He has always wanted to try to scare away Mer's first boyfriend. We just didn't think she would be in her late tweties when that happened. Just man up and he will be fine. We will see you tonight. Oh, and he loves Italian." She walked away with a smile and a wink.

Italian. He sighed in relief. He could do Italian. He dialed his phone.

"Ma? I need a favor."

Carolyn laughed.

"The last favor I did you involved me knowing more about your penis than I ever wanted to." She said.

"I just met Mer's father." He said.

"And judging my your tone, it didn't go so well?" She asked.

"Ma, I am a grown man but I will tell you right now, that man scares the hell out of me. I almost pissed myself." He informed her.

"Language." She corrected automatically.

"Sorry." He said contritely.

"What's the favor?" She asked.

"He loves Italian. And you are Italian. And you can cook Italian. Well."

"You want me to cook an authentic Italian meal for Meredith's father." She surmised.

"Please." He pleaded.

"No problem. It will be ready at six." She promised.

"Thank you." He sighed in relief.

"But you owe me."

"Whatever you want." He promised.

"Your firstborn child." She said immediately, teasing.

Derek paused.

"Um…Ma…" He said.

"Just because he or she won't be born to you, doesn't mean it won't be your firstborn. For a brain surgeon you can be incredibly dense, dear."

"Thanks Ma, really." Derek said, sarcastically.

"Do you want me to lace the food with X-lax? Then don't use that tone with me. I'll do it, just ask your Grandma Shepherd, the crazy old bat."

"Sorry Ma." He said immediately. He did not need his future in laws to have the shits.

Carolyn paused.

"Have you given any thoughts to our last conversation?" She asked hesitantly.

Derek sighed.

"Yeah, I just wonder if it is too soon. I mean, it has only been three months. I don't want to scare her away."

"You just got a vasectomy for her. I don't think proposing to her will scare her off if that didn't." Carolyn countered.

Okay, his mother may have a point.

"I just want to feel her up…I mean, out…feel her out." He hastily corrected.

"Still not giving you any huh?" His mother asked.

Derek took the phone away from his ear, looked at it and then put it back.

"I'm sorry…what…how do you…" He sputtered.

Carolyn laughed.

"Meredith told me." She said.

Meredith told his mother she wasn't having sex with him. Is that even acceptable?

"That is just…kind of disgusting." He finally said.

"I was young once Derek. How do you think I got five kids?"

"I didn't actually ever want to think about it." He replied. "Um, I need to go now." And bleach my brain out, he thought.

"Okay Dear, see you later."

Derek looked at the phone again and shuddered.

That went on the top ten things he never wanted to hear from his mother.

* * *

"This is really good Derek." Ellis complimented him as they ate.

"His mother is a really good cook." Meredith agreed.

"Are you saying I am not?" Ellis asked raising an eyebrow.

"I said his mother _was_ a really good cook, not his mother _had_ a really good cook." Meredith teased.

"I was a working woman with a child." Ellis defended.

"She was a working woman with five children, six if you count Mark." Meredith countered.

"Mark?" Ellis asked.

"Sloan." Derek interjected.

"From Plastics?" Richard asked.

Derek looked hesitantly at him. That was the first words he had said that night.

"Yes sir. I met him my first day of Kindergarten. He had on a dirty shirt and mismatched shoes that even I could tell were too small. He also had bruises on his neck and arms. Someone was teasing me and he stepped in, all tough like. We were instant friends…the geek and the abused. I went home and told my father about him. There wasn't much we could do until the night no one picked him up from school. We took him home and he has been there ever since." Derek said.

Meredith gaped at him, tears in her eyes.

"Why the hell didn't you ever tell me that? I would've been…nicer to him." She said.

"I know, but he enjoys your snarky nature." He assured her.

"Well, that is very nice of your parents. Tell me what does your father do?" Richard asked stiltedly.

"Daddy…" Meredith said.

"No, it's okay. My father actually used to own his own business, a bookstore. Um…one night when I was ten, my father was locking up and two men killed him for his watch. That was the only thing missing on him. My mother had saved up for that for months. Mark and I became the men of the house instantly. I mean we had five women to protect." He looked at Meredith. "Now I have fifteen. My Ma, my four sisters, my nine nieces and Mer."

She smiled a watery smile at him and reached over to grip his hand.

"Wow, this dinner just took a morose turn." Derek said. He took a deep breath. "So, new subject?"

"Okay, how about you tell me how I am sitting here meeting you when you said what you did to my daughter?" Richard said pushing his plate back and leveling a glare at Derek.

"Richard, we agreed that you wouldn't come to Derek's house and do this." Ellis berated.

"This is your house." Richard said.

"It's his house as long as he is leasing it." Ellis corrected, shooting an apologetic glance at Derek and Meredith.

"Semantics." Richard waved her explanation away.

"Daddy…"

"No Mer, let me." He looked at Richard. "Dr. Webber, I love your daughter and I may have made some mistakes, but I am human. I let my anger take control of my brain for a split second and it came close to ruining the best thing that has ever happened to me. I won't let that happen again. Now, I have made amends with Meredith and forgive me for saying so, but it doesn't really matter to me if you approve or not. You are not in our relationship. We are." He told him, looking him straight in the eyes.

"How did he make amends, if you don't mind me asking?" Richard asked Meredith.

"He got a vasectomy." She said matter of factly.

Ellis gasped.

Richard looked lost in thought and was silent for a long moment. Finally, he nodded and pulled his plate back to him.

"Okay, then." And then, "This is really excellent cannoli."

That was the last spoke on the subject.


	41. She's Happy

_Chapter 41: She's Happy_

Ellis Grey-Webber was by all accounts a formidable woman. Only her husband and her daughter saw her soft side. She glanced at her daughter and her boyfriend curiously. It astounded her that they could feel such deep and complex feelings for each other in less than three months. It shouldn't, considering her own fall from grace with Richard Webber. She had first contributed falling in love with being tired of being with such a spineless man such as Thatcher Grey, but maybe that wasn't fair. Maybe it was because she was meant to be with her husband. She didn't know whether she believed in God or not. She was too scientific for that, but maybe, just maybe, there was a thing such as fate.

All she knew, was right now, looking at her daughter looking at Derek, she believed in all things possible.

That day, long ago, when Meredith was brought in to the hospital, Ellis had felt something akin to acute terror. She had never really been close to Meredith, probably because there was a lot of Thatcher in her, but that day changed everything. When the doctor had said she could die without the surgery, Richard and she hadn't thought twice about it.

Meredith, her Meredith, had to live so she could have the chance to right any wrongs she had done to her in her young life. She wanted the chance to be a true mother to her daughter.

And from the moment Meredith had woken from surgery, she had. It was a hard struggle but well worth it. There had been some resentment from Meredith and not because of their past relationship but because Meredith, her fiercely independent daughter, her Meredith had wanted a child. That is something Ellis didn't think of when she and Richard had made that decision. She guessed it was because she herself didn't want one when she had gotten pregnant with Meredith.

However, with time Meredith had moved on, but Ellis could tell she wasn't really living, just merely passing through life with no joy, no purpose. She became a wonderful and caring surgeon and her patients, especially the children, loved her. Ellis had always hoped Meredith would find someone, but Meredith had emphatically resisted any chance at a relationship because in her words, who would want a defective woman?

But she didn't account for Derek, the stubborn hotshot neurosurgeon that had placed himself firmly in her life with no chance of escape, though she did try. That remark Derek had made to her had hurt her, but it was something she told herself on a daily basis, something that she believed herself and Ellis knew that being mad at him for saying it, was a defensive mechanism on Meredith's part. She had pushed him away but here he was, laughing at something Meredith had whispered to him, his eyes alight with joy and love and hers matching his in intensity.

It warmed her cool heart to see her daughter so happy.

"What are you thinking about?" Richard whispered, as his arms enclosed around her. He kissed her neck. She relaxed and leaned back into him. Richard Webber was a saint, or just really in love, to have put up with her. Of course, with him, she was a different person. He wasn't a constant reminder of her failures like Meredith had been.

"She's happy." She said simply.

She felt his head lift up to look at her daughter, their daughter.

"He's good for her." He agreed.

She turned around to look at him in surprise and raised an eyebrow.

"I am her father. I had to do it, just once." He told her; his eyes filled with mirth.

"It looks like once is all you will get. He's the one. I can feel it."

Now it was his turn to look at her in surprise.

"You don't believe in fate." He stated.

"Maybe I do."

"What are you two whispering about?" Meredith asked.

Ellis smiled warmly at her daughter and blinked her tears away.

"Fate."

Meredith looked confused.

"Fate? You two are all huggy and kissy about fate?" She looked at Derek. "Since when did fate become an aphrodisiac?" She asked.

He shrugged but his eyes met Ellis' and she knew he knew what she was talking about. She poured all her feelings and insecurities into her stare and he conveyed his back to hers and she knew they understood each other. He would take care of Meredith and make her feel loved every day and that was all she could ask for. He had chosen to sacrifice his ability to have biological children to prove his love. And in that, he had proven it to not just Meredith, but to her father and Ellis.

She was in good hands.

Ellis finished up drying the last dish and put it away. She turned to her daughter.

"Well, it's time for us to go."

Meredith's head jerked up.

"Wait. What? I thought Daddy was staying to take over?" She said.

Richard and I looked at each other.

"We thought that you were staying now, considering everything." Richard said, indicating Derek.

"Oh. Well, I guess I am but I thought that you were going to take your place as head of Seattle Grace." She stated.

"Why? You are going to be here." Ellis said.

"Yeah, but I don't want to be boss. I want to finish my fellowship and practice medicine, not deal with stuffed shirts, bitchy doctors and mounds of paperwork." Meredith said.

"Meredith, we are doctors, that is all any of us deal with but add patients." Derek told me.

"You just want to have more time for on call room sex." Ellis said knowingly.

"Ellis!" Richard protested.

"We were young once Richard, remember the on call rooms?" Ellis said to Richard wistfully.

"The one from last month? Or from years ago?' He asked.

"Oh, ew! Do not say another word." Meredith demanded, as she covered her ears. "Besides, we just use the office."

"I could have lived my whole life not knowing that Meredith Elizabeth." Richard said, his voice censored.

"Right back at ya, Big Daddy." She said.

Derek laughed.

"Elizabeth, huh?" He asked.

"Is there something wrong with that, Christopher?" Meredith asked.

"Nope, not a thing." He grinned. He liked finding little things about her.

"Look, I will tell you what. I will tie up some loose ends and we will come back." Richard told them.

"Really?" Meredith and Ellis said simultaneously.

"Yes, I can tell it would mean a lot to both of you, but I am telling you now, no nepotism." Richard said sternly.

"I used to work for Mom, remember?" Meredith said.

"I was not that bad." Ellis protested.

"Yes, you were." Meredith and Richard informed her.

"Don't worry Ellis, I feel your pain." Derek said.

"Thank you Derek." Ellis looked at her husband and daughter triumphantly.

"Yeah, like he knows." Meredith snorted.

"We really need to go." Richard gently reminded Ellis.

Ellis sighed. She didn't want to leave happy, shiny Meredith.

"Okay." She hugged Meredith and then Derek.

"Take care of her." She demanded softly.

"I will." He promised.

Richard hugged Meredith and then shook Derek's hand.

"If you hurt her again, I will cut your balls off." He threatened.

Derek turned an interesting shade of pale.

"Daddy!" Meredith admonished.

He winked at her and gathered their bags and escorted Ellis out of the door with promises that they would be back in a month.

Meredith shut the door and looked at Derek.

"Finally! I thought they would never leave." She said, exasperated.

"I thought you wanted them to stay." Derek murmured, moving closer to her.

"Yeah, with them staying in a hotel. Not underfoot here. I couldn't even have sex for fear they would hear me."

"Um…Mer? We are not having sex, remember?" He reminded her, wincing as he did so. His balls were bluer than a smurf.

She gripped his shirt and drug him closer to her, until his body was pinning hers to the door.

"I might be convinced to change my mind about that." She said, her lips dangerously close to his.

"Is that so?" He murmured against her soft lips.

"Hmm Hmmm." She murmured back.

He licked her lips gently and delved his tongue in as she opened up to him from her pants and gasps. Their tongues tangled sinuously, and she felt the wood dig into her back as he pressed her hard up against it. His hands traveled from her face to her soft breasts and he pushed his hand under her shirt and teased her nipple into a hard nub. She broke away gasping for air.

"So you are staying?" He asked, nibbling on her neck as he unbuttoned her pants.

"Hmmm…yeah…oh god! Yeah, I'm staying. You're here." She said, craning her neck for his easier access.

"That is really good."

"Hmmm…oh god…yes, it is."

Derek chuckled.

"Are you convinced yet?" He asked, ripping her shirt over her head.

"You had me at 'I thought we weren't having sex'. Take me upstairs. Now." She pleaded desperately, placing her hand on his jean covered bulge.

His eyes popped out on his head, as did sweat on his forehead. He grabbed her hand and practically dragged her up the stairs.

Well, someone was eager, she thought.

Yes, Meredith Grey was very happy her parents had gone home. She definitely didn't want to pay for their therapy bill from hearing this sex marathon.

She hoped the neighbors had ear plugs.

* * *

**What are your thoughts?**


	42. Never Dull At Seattle Grace

_Chapter 42: Never Dull At Seattle Grace_

Meredith moaned as Derek's stubble grazed her inner thigh, she whimpered as she felt his hot breath whisper along her core, she hissed as his tongue softly lapped at her wetness.

Seven days. Seven days since her parents had left, seven days since she had lifted her sex restrictions, seven days and they were still humping like rabbits. Literally, like five hours a day, they were having some sort of sex. She was so going to get a UTI at this rate and she was walking around like she had ridden a horse for well, five hours…a stallion called Derek…

But right now, she didn't care about any of that. Right now, her boyfriend was making a meal of her nether regions and she was very…

"Oh my god! Right there. Just like that. Don't. Stop." He lifted his head up in confusion, her wetness coating his nose, lips and chin. "Don't stop!" She shrieked, shoving his head back down to her throbbing pussy.

She felt him chuckle but he did as ordered, bring her to completion less than a minute later.

He smirked satisfactorily at her as she lay panting and gasping, her body heavy and lethargic with pleasure.

"You're welcome." He said, cockily.

She rolled her eyes, but the grin would not leave.

"I'll reciprocate in a moment." She promised.

"No need. I just want to be inside you while I make you scream my name." He purred.

"Then what are you waiting for?" She asked huskily.

He fumbled with the drawstring on his pants and Meredith wondered why he didn't just leave it loose. Easy access and all that. She had taken to wearing skirts on her admin days herself. Today was an admin day. Her skirt was bunched up around her waist at the moment and when they were done all she had to do was pull it down and get the wrinkles out. And all men could do was pee standing up…being a woman totally rocked.

Finally his pants and boxers were down around his ankles and his erection was hard, long and seeping pre cum. She licked her lips and sat up to make good on her promise.

But he pushed her down, grabbed her legs bringing them up to his chest and sheathed himself inside her in one fluid movement.

"Oh shit!" She screamed as he began pounding into her over and over again. "Ohshitohshitohshit! Fuck! You are a fucking sex god…"

"I…aim…to…please." He grunted under the force of his exertions.

"Well, please me and go faster."

So of course he slowed down with a devilish grin on his face.

She growled.

"That animalistic nature of yours is hot Mer, I gotta tell ya." He said, still going slow.

"Faster! Harder! Now!" She screamed.

Derek felt the tingling in his lower abdomen and consented her demand. Gripping on tight to her legs, he pulled, lifting her bottom off of the desk she was lying on.

"Oh My Fucking…Just like that, yes, right there…fuck, shit, damnit!" She felt her walls close in on his throbbing erection and then….

* * *

"Yes! God thank you! Fuck yes!"

Cristina cringed and sighed, leaning against the wall outside of Meredith's office. Her office with the thin fucking walls and great acoustics.

Bailey came up with a chart and made to go into the office.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Cristina warned.

"And may I ask why you, a fellow, are telling me, the Chief, where she can and can't go?" Bailey asked, raising her eyebrow and putting a hand on her hips.

Cristina just shrugged, and Bailey smirked and walked right in.

"AARRGG! You people are just nasty. Don't people lock doors around here? Get some damn clothes on!" Bailey yelled.

Cristina smirked as Bailey walked out and glared at her.

"What? I told you that you didn't want to go in there." Cristina told her.

"I need some damn bleach for my eyes. Damn people having sex in offices with their asses shining and pants around their ankles, wearing boxers with little devils on them. Like I wanted to know what his underpants looked like. You would think I was running a damn sex ring in here." Bailey ranted as she stalked away. The seas parted as if God himself were walking through.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" Mark asked.

Cristina nodded her head towards the closed office door.

"Oh God, again? Her vagina is going to rot, and his dick is going to fall off if they keep this up." Mark complained. "Did she hear them?"

Cristina shook her head.

"Walked in?" Mark asked.

Cristina nodded.

"Oh that is fucking priceless. I can't wait until the next family dinner." Mark rubbed his hands together gleefully.

"Am I invited?"

Mark glared at Addison.

"No. Ma hates you." He said shortly.

"But you don't." She said, running her fingernails up his arm.

"No, but I don't take my fuck buddies to dinner." He told her cheerfully.

"That's all you have." Addison told him, rolling her eyes.

"Not anymore. Yang and I are dating." He said, throwing his arm around Cristina's shoulders.

"Ow, ow!" Cristina yelped.

"Did I hurt you?" Mark asked.

"No, you touched me. Now I have to go disinfect." Cristina said, with a disgusted expression on her face.

"Thanks for letting Bailey go in." Meredith bitched, opening the door when she heard Cristina's voice. "Oh!" She said when she saw the crowd outside the door.

"Bailey saw you with your pants down, huh?" Mark grinned. Addison huffed.

"Nope, she saw Derek with his pants down, my skirt was up." She said matter of factly.

"Whore." Addison muttered.

"Pot, kettle, black." Meredith said.

"How am I a whore? Just because I cheated once doesn't make me a whore." Addison countered.

"True, but it was who you cheated with that makes you a whore and a stupid one at that. I mean, I am down with the rainbow but Rose, really? I wouldn't let those teeth anywhere near my pussy." Meredith said, cringing.

Addison's mouth fell open, Cristina snorted with laughter, Mark looked horrified.

"You told?" Addison yelled.

Derek looked confused as he exited the room.

"Told what?"

"You said you wouldn't tell anyone about me and Rose." She screamed.

It got really quiet as everyone stopped what they were doing and paused.

"I didn't, but you just did…loudly." Derek smirked.

"Then how did you know?" Addison demanded at Meredith.

"I didn't. Just a guess…a correct one it seems." Meredith said satisfactorily. "Everyone get back to work. Hasn't anyone ever heard of gay and lesbian rights? Let the bisexual have some peace." She ordered, her tone powerful and just a tad condescending.

Addison turned as red as her hair and turned on Meredith.

"I will get you for this." She hissed.

"Bring it on bitch." Cristina taunted.

"I wasn't talking to you Yang."

"You mess with my home girl; you mess with me and you so do not want to mess with me." Cristina threatened. "So, move on."

Addison leveled a glare at Meredith and Derek and stalked off.

"Never a dull day at Seattle Grace." Mark observed.

No one could argue with that.


	43. Abandoned Baby

_Chapter 43: Abandoned Baby_

"Dr. Grey?"

Meredith looked up from her paperwork. It was Admin day…again. She would be doing something much more fun, but Derek was in surgery so no fun time for Meredith.

"Yes Angela?" She asked, smiling tiredly. Sex all night for two weeks made for a very tired and sore Meredith. Still, would you say no to that? Yeah, didn't think so…

"We have a situation downstairs." Angela informed her hesitantly.

"What is it this time? Oh God, is that stripper back? Cause I will never look at a Snickers the same way again." Meredith asked, dreading the answer.

"Abandoned baby. Found outside the Immaculate Catholic Church." Angela informed her.

Meredith stood up quickly and grabbed her lab jacket, pulling it on as she barreled toward the elevators, Angela quick on her heels.

"Which floor?" Meredith asked, once they were in the elevator.

"Ground. ER. Woman found the baby when she went to take her potluck dish for Mass tomorrow." Angela told her.

The doors opened, and Meredith rushed out.

"What trauma room?"

"Meredith! Thank God you are here!"

Meredith's head whipped around to see Carolyn.

"What are you doing here? Are you okay? Is one of the girls here? Or one of the kids?" Meredith asked instantly going into doctor mode.

"No. We are all fine Dear." Carolyn told her.

"Oh, okay. Well I have to go see about a baby brought…"

"I know, Amber and I brought her in. It looked okay but we didn't know what else to do." Carolyn interrupted her.

"You found her?" Meredith asked.

"Yes, I was dropping off the turkey at the church and I heard a mewling sound near where the clinic is and I went to investigate and imagine my surprise when I found a baby."

"Okay, I need to go check on the baby. Angela, take Mrs. Shepherd and Mrs. Shepherd-Killard to my office."

Once they were taken care of, Meredith entered the trauma room and pushed her way in. It was utter confusion. Interns asking questions, Peds and General arguing over whose patient it was, nurses trying to do their job.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Meredith bellowed.

It instantly quieted. Except for crying screams from their little patient.

"This is a baby people. One who is probably cold and hungry. This is a hospital, you are doctors, act like it. Dr. Singleton, run up to the nursery and get some formula."

"But isn't breast milk best for an infant and their immune system?" The intern asked.

"Do you see anyone in this room who is this child's mother or who is lactating?" Meredith asked.

"No, ma'am. Right away ma'am." The intern scurried away.

"Any other stupid questions?" Meredith asked.

They all shook their heads.

"Good, now Dr. Curry, go get some small blankets from the linen supply closet and go down to laundry and warm them up in the dryer. Ten minutes should be enough."

That intern rushed out.

"Dr. Robbins, this is your territory, so excuse me for pissing all over it, but I don't think the baby is going to need surgery. However, since you are here, stay. Dr. Crewson, go away and stop scrounging for surgeries."

The General surgeon left.

That just left two nurses, Meredith and Arizona Robbins.

Meredith walked over to take a look at the red faced infant.

"Tiny." She breathed.

"She doesn't look any older than a few days old. See, her umbilical cord stump is still on." Arizona showed Meredith.

"She?" Meredith asked.

"I peeked. I don't like saying 'it' in regard to a patient." Arizona told her.

"Me neither. Do you see any traces of abuse?" Meredith asked, dreading the answer.

"No. Like you said, she is probably just cold and hungry. We will feed her and warm her up and put her in the NICU until we can run some blood tests." Arizona said.

"Okay." Meredith paused, looking at the baby. "Okay. Yeah. I want a report ASAP. I don't care if it is a minute as she peed, please let me know. The reporters are going to be all over this. I have to go beef up security."

"Yes, Dr. Grey." Arizona said, getting to work on calming the baby.

Meredith walked to her office after a quick call to security, with a heavy heart.

"Who could do such an awful thing?" She heard Carolyn say.

"I don't know Ma." Derek responded.

Meredith pushed the door opened.

"Well there she is! What is the verdict?" Carolyn asked.

"She is cold and hungry, but we don't see any trauma, but we are going to run tests and observe her." Meredith told everyone.

"Well at least she will have a warm place to stay." Amber said.

"What happens when she is cleared?" Carolyn asked.

"They will place her in a foster family, I guess." Meredith said, sitting down on her couch next to Derek, who squeezed her leg. She forced a smile in return, and he looked at her inquisitively. She shook her head with a glance at his family members. He nodded in understanding.

"Well, we should get going. Please keep us informed." Carolyn pleaded.

"I will. Thank you for bringing her here." Meredith said to Carolyn.

She gave her a quick hug.

Amber hugged her after Carolyn was done.

"This is fate." She whispered into Meredith's ear.

She just smiled serenely when Meredith looked at her, confused.

She was out the door before Meredith could ask what she meant.

Derek appeared in her eyeline with a concerned smile on his handsome face.

"What's wrong?" He asked, pulling her into his arms.

"She is just a baby. A helpless, innocent little girl. For someone to not want her…" Meredith broke off and took a deep breath.

"Go ahead." He said gently.

"Who would throw away something so precious, so wonderful when…ugh."

"When someone would give anything for the chance to have a child." He finished for her. "Someone like you?"

She buried her face in his neck and tried to calm her breathing.

"Mer?"

"Yeah?" Her muffled voice rang out.

"You okay? I can handle this if it is too much for you." He offered.

"No." She raised her head up and looked at him. "I am fine. I can do this. I want to do this. Thanks though."

"For what?" He asked.

"Being there. Listening to me freak out and understanding my freak out." She told him, smiling genuinely this time.

"Anytime. It's what I'm here for." He told her.

"You are here to listen to me bitch and moan about things I can't change?" She asked.

"Pretty much." He said laughing.

"Wow, where have you been all my life?"

"Waiting for you." He murmured against her lips.


	44. Remington

_Chapter 44: Remington_

Derek glanced at the clock on the bedside table and sighed. She was late again. This was the third time in as many days. He knew exactly where she was. In the NICU watching over the baby.

She wasn't the only one. No, the little girl had captured the hearts of just about everyone that came in contact with her. Even Mark, Cristina and Alex had been to visit. But Meredith had been there almost constantly.

Oh, she told him she was just handling everything as an owner would, but he knew better and she knew he knew. He didn't call her on it though, knowing instinctively that she needed this. He was concerned that this was going to break her in the long run. The fact was, the little girl would have to be placed. And that place was in the foster care system, a sometimes harsh and undesirable life for anyone especially an infant with the circumstances this child was born into.

He heard her key turn in the lock and sighed a little breath of relief. He always felt better when she was home safely. He heard her keys hit the side table and a clunk as her shoes hit the hardwood floor, probably in his way to where he would trip on them in the morning. He heard her trudge up the stairs, bone tired and drained.

He finally saw her slender form in the muted light in their doorway. He smiled softly at her, swallowing against the lump in his throat at the despair in her eyes. She tried to hide it and say she was fine, but again, he knew better.

"How was your night?" She asked, making conversation. A mindless task for her, her heart obviously not in it.

"Lonely." He said honestly.

Her eyes slowly met his and she nodded and bit her lip.

"Yeah, I had some things to do at work. Work things." She told him.

He slowly nodded.

"How is the baby?" He asked.

A smile spread across her face, instantly making her features brighter, happier.

"She has gained five ounces in three days and she is taking four ounces in her bottle. She is off the oxygen and let me tell you she has a healthy set of lungs. It scared me the first time she cried. Remington is going to be a heartbreaker." She said, almost bouncing on the bed in her excitement.

"Remington?" Derek asked.

She abruptly stopped bouncing and looked down at the floor. She moved to get up, but he stopped her. She looked everywhere but at him until the silence became unbearable and she looked him in the eyes.

"Yeah. That is just what I call her, to myself. Jane Doe is too…impersonal and I always liked that name." She whispered.

"Mer, what are you going to do when she has to go?" He asked her gently.

She glared at him and moved away towards the dresser. She grabbed some pajamas and slipped into the bathroom. Avoiding.

He heard her clothes rustle to the floor, her belt hitting the floor with clang. He heard the water in the sink come on as she brushed her teeth. He heard her spat into the sink, another rustle as she wiped her mouth on the hand towel hanging to the right of their sink. The door creaked open and the room suddenly was shrouded in darkness as she turned off the light. He felt her get into bed, pulling the covers up her neck and turning away from him.

He knew he should let it go, but he couldn't. It was already going to destroy her when the baby left, he wouldn't let it destroy them though.

"Mer?"

Silence.

"Meredith, please. We need to talk about this."

Her throat cleared and then a distinctive sniffle and a muffled sob.

"Oh, Mer."

He pulled her to him and hugged her tight.

"Shhh…I know. Baby, I know."

She turned until her face was buried into his chest, her tears instantly soaking his soft blue shirt. He kissed her silken blond tresses and murmured soft words of comfort to her.

Her sobs slowly dwindled, and her breathing evened out. In the next few minutes she would wipe her eyes and her nose on his shirt, apologize and fall into a troubled sleep.

He continued to hold her long after she disappeared into her dark sanctuary. He would continue to think of a way where she could be happy, because to him, nothing mattered more, then her happiness.

There had to be a way.

And he was going to find it.

That is why he found himself slipping into the NICU at five a.m. Up until now, he had resisted but he found himself wanting to see the tiny person who had the love of his life full of joy and despair at the same time.

He smiled at the nurse who winked at him knowingly and he approached the bassinet.

She was small and pink tinted, with dark blonde hair, long fingers, lips puckered into an adorable pout. Her skin was soft to the touch and her chest rose up and down with every minute breath she took. He let his finger trail over her cheek, and he froze when she whimpered and rooted for his finger. She was hungry. She let out a little cry and he looked around for the nurse.

"Do you have a bottle ready for her?" He asked, purposefully keeping his voice soft so he does to startle her.

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd." She got one out and handed it to him. He looked down at it, confused.

"You want me to feed her?" He asked.

"You don't have to, but I know you want to." She said wisely.

He cleared his throat and he pulled the rocking chair closer to her temporary bed. The nurse lifted the baby out and settled her into Derek's arms.

He gently placed the nipple at her mouth and she greedily took it, sucking it fiercely. Derek chuckled.

"You are a hungry little girl." He observed out loud.

He rocked them back and forth as she ate. He needed to think. He had to make Meredith come out of this intact. He had to make her see reason. He had to make her distance herself from this situation.

All of those worried thoughts and plans went out of the metaphorical window the second she opened her eyes and locked them with his.

They were clear deep blue and even though her gaze was unfocused, they peered straight into his soul.

He gasped out loud, his mind reeling.

He started to make new plans in that very instance. Plans that included him, Meredith and this child and the future that awaited them. He had to have this…person…this miracle.

He smiled down at the baby as she grasped his finger.

"Hello Remington Jade. If I have my way, I am going to be your Daddy.


	45. She Will Be Ours

_Chapter 45: She Will Be Ours_

Derek paced the office, phone pressed to his ear, every now and then craning his neck to make sure Meredith wasn't going to pop into her office. He had absconded it about two hours ago and since it was thankfully a Neuro day for her, he had given her a list of surgeries to research for his patients. She should be busy for a while.

Finally a human voice was responding.

"Hello? Yes. My name is Dr. Derek Shepherd and I was inquiring about adoption….No, I haven't called before…no, I don't need to come in and see what you have available…_crap this was a kid not a couch, seriously, a catalogue_?…I already have a child picked out, _now he sounded like he was ordering pizza_…no, obviously there are no parents…well yes I mean there are parents if you want to call someone who leaves their infant out in the cold behind a church by itself. Yes, I am sure you saw that on the news…no, I am not being sarcastic, okay maybe I am, I just…this is the seventh place I have called and held for god knows how long and I just want to know what to do. Okay…okay…yes…I am at Seattle Grace. No! Don't have me paged. Call my cell…206-555-3821. Thank you."

Derek hung up with a sigh of relief. Now if he could just keep Meredith from finding out about this. He didn't want her to get her hopes up if this didn't work out.

"Hey! I am done and the notes are on your desk, in your closet that passes for an office." She said, breezing in.

"Well, not all of us are lucky and privileged enough to have a big, gigantic office such as this." He teased.

"Are you calling me spoiled?" She asked, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He leaned back and looked at her.

"No. Lucky." He informed her.

"Hmmm…so what are you doing in here? Cristina said she walked by twice and you were pacing and cursing at your phone." She asked.

Shit!

"Oh…the DMV. Problem with my registration." He told her, cringing inwardly.

There goes the honesty stipulation of their agreement.

"That sucks. Those people are vultures." She sympathized.

"I am used to it." He said.

"Oh, yeah, that's right, you used to date Addison." She taunted.

Derek laughed.

Derek started when his phone rang. He had left it on Meredith's desk and she was now closest to it. She picked it up and he practically knocked her over to get it from her.

"Derek!" She yelped.

"Sorry…Hello? Yes this is he. Okay yeah. Great. Thanks."

Derek hung up slowly and looked hesitantly at his girlfriend, his befuddled and now slightly pissed off girlfriend.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You almost knocked me over!" She asked.

"I…I've gotta go. Very important meeting…with a patient...about his brain...yeah, brain. See ya!" He ran out after kissing her cheek.

"Wait!" She called out.

Something was definitely up with him. He had been twitchy and secretive for a few days now.

Well so much for lunch. She decided to head into the NICU and see Remi.

"How's she doing?" I asked, walking in and grabbing her chart.

"The same as when you asked forty-five minutes ago." Elaine, the NICU nurse, answered teasingly.

Meredith sheepishly shrugged and continued to read Remi's chart.

"She can be released tomorrow." Elaine said.

Meredith snapped her head up.

"Says who?"

"Dr. Montgomery."

"Wait, Dr. Robbins is the doctor I put in charge."

"Yes, and she and Dr. Montgomery had it out about two hours ago. Seems that Dr. Montgomery spouted off some rules nonsense to Dr. Robbins. Social worker was in here a thirty minutes ago."

"And what did she say?"

"That she would be by to take the baby to a foster home and that she would have to be quick in lining one up." Elaine finished informing her.

Meredith felt her breathing get shallow.

A foster home? Foster homes, for the most part, were full of money hungry people who didn't give a rat's ass about the children

She couldn't let Remington, her Remington, suffer through that. Even if it was a good home, it is almost never permanent and then what? Bounced from home to home. What kind of life was that for Remi, for any child unfortunate enough to be born into those circumstances?

But what could she do about it? She was an unmarried, albeit, attached woman who worked…like a lot. She knew that going up to some social worker and saying 'Hey, I want her and I will get the best possible nanny money can buy.' would tip the scales in her favor.

So, it was time to bend the rules over Addison Montgomery's ass.

* * *

"You're a man."

"Yes."

"You're not married."

"No, I am not.."

"You're a very busy doctor."

"Yes I am."

"And you want to see about me placing an infant girl in your care?"

Derek calmly looked at the social worker, Whit, she introduced herself as. She was a 26 year old woman who right now was looking at him incredulously.

"Yes."

"Give me one reason why I should even consider this?"

"Yes, it is true that I am a single male doctor who works long hours, but if you can just read between the lines and look beyond what I look like on paper, you would see that I am a man who can't have kids who is desperately in love with a woman who can't have kids and we have a lot to offer a child, this child. Meredith fell in love with her the minute she saw her, and I have to admit it only took me about five minutes more than it did her."

"What does Meredith do?" Whit asked.

"She owns this hospital." Derek said, his expression sheepish.

Whit narrowed her eyes.

"She would cut back her hours, we both would and I have a huge Catholic family that is willing to pitch in."

"It is not an ideal situation…"Whit began.

"What is? If we were fortunate enough to have children of our own, we wouldn't have to do it like this. Families have both parents working these days. But we are financially secure, we do love each other, and we have a stable and safe home. Much safer than being abandoned." He said pointedly.

"I understand your point of view and I even sympathize, but I have rules to follow, guidelines, criteria and I don't know if you meet those." She said honestly.

"Tell me how to meet those."

"How long have you and your girlfriend been together?"

Yeah ask that question.

"A little over three months."

Whit raised her eyebrow.

"I knew from the first second, maybe the first day, okay, the first week, that she was it for me. We just…clicked. I would do anything for her.'

"Including take on a child that you don't want?"

"I want her. I want her as much as Meredith does. I don't care how much money it takes, how much time it takes, how much legalities…she will be ours. Now the question is, are you going to help me, or do I need to get someone else?" He said sternly.

Whit scrutinized him closely for a moment and then sighed.

"Okay first off you are going to need to get a lawyer…"


	46. We Will Get Through This

_Chapter 46: We Will Get Through This_

"Montgomery!" Meredith growled, when she spotted the redhead with five-inch heels walking down the hall.

Addison looked surprised at the tone but rolled her eyes when she saw it was Meredith. She kept on walking.

That bitch needed a lesson in respect, and she was going to learn it, or have that five-inch heel stuck straight up her ass.

"I am talking to you." Meredith said sternly.

Addison whirled around and faced Meredith.

"What can I do for you Dr. Grey?" She said, her tone frustrated.

"You can tell me why the hell you decided to release that baby."

"She is fine. There is no need for her to be here." Addison remarked, as if it was obvious.

"That is not for you to decide." Meredith countered.

"Actually it is. I am the head of the Neonatal Department and Gynecology." Addison reminded Meredith.

"But I put Dr. Robbins in charge of that case."

"And I overruled her." Addison told Meredith.

"Again, not your decision." Meredith said.

"Why are you so hell bent on keeping this baby here?" Addison asked suspiciously.

"She has nowhere to go." Meredith said.

"That is not our problem." Addison said. She looked at Meredith closely and visibly softened her expression. "Look, I get it. I don't like it either, but that is not our area of expertise. The social workers will place her. Some couple out there will adopt her."

Meredith took a deep breath and looked away.

"Yeah, you're right." Meredith finally said, her tone and manner abrupt.

She turned to walk away, wanting nothing more than to go into her office, lock the door, burrow into her ugly, beige, sex-stained couch and cry her eyes out.

"Dr. Grey."

Meredith turned with an inquisitive and guarded stare.

"I will arrange for her to stay a couple more days, but for the record, this attachment you have to her is not healthy for you. You are still going to mourn her when she is gone. But I do get it…she is a beautiful baby and if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't want to let her go either." Addison told Meredith, with a sympathetic expression.

"I don't need your pity." Meredith told her.

"You don't have it. You have Derek after all. What more could you honestly want?" Addison told her.

"You had him once and you blew it." Meredith defended herself.

"I did, and I regret it, but we both know he wasn't for me. He only has eyes for you, and he would do anything to make you happy. Don't ruin this." She advised with a small smile and then walked away.

Meredith continued to watch Addison long after she was out of sight. She was right, as much as Meredith hated to admit it. She was obsessing over something she couldn't feasibly have while neglecting the one thing in her life that was solid. They could adopt later, she knew this, of course that didn't make this any easier. She would still mourn Remington's loss into the foster care system.

Meredith trudged back to her office for the cry she so desperately needed.

* * *

"Are you kidding me?!" Derek bellowed out.

The lawyer he had hired was taken aback. She didn't look like a woman who was normally yelled at.

"Dr. Shepherd, the State is legally required to search for the child's birth mother." Victoria Hennings told him.

"She abandoned her!"

"We don't know that." She said evenly.

He stopped his pacing and raised an eyebrow at her.

"The father could have done it, another family member perhaps." She reasoned.

"Has anyone stepped forward and asked questions? Has anyone reported a baby girl missing?" He asked.

She shook her head no.

"Then she was abandoned." He leaned forward and slammed his fist down on her desk, not hard, but hard enough to make her glare at her hot-headed client. "You work for me, I hired you, so do whatever you have to do." He looked at his watch. "And you have forty-eight hours to make it happen." He strode out of her office without a 'see you later, kiss my ass' or nothing.

She watched him go, one part pissed, one part sympathetic and one part, a tiny part, that admired him for desperately trying to give this child a good home.

She picked up her phone with a sigh. She was so going to double bill him when she did make this happen.

* * *

"Have you seen Meredith?" He asked Cristina, who was the first person he saw on his quest to find her. He had looked in the obvious place, the NICU, first and was surprised and slightly relieved that she wasn't there. She hadn't been sleeping at all lately.

"No…Hey what is wrong with her…and you? You both look like shit straight out of a cow's anus."

He grimaced.

"Thank you Yang, really, for that wonderful image." He said, sarcastically.

"You didn't make another stupid remark, did you?" Cristina asked him, her tone and expression both aggressively threatening.

Derek put his hands up in defense.

"No, I swear." He promised.

"Did you check her office?" She asked.

"Going there now." He said with a sigh.

He walked to her office and eased into the dark room. There she was, sleeping on the couch. He smiled softly at his beautiful girlfriend, until he noticed the tear stains on her cheeks and the dark circles under her eyes.

"Derek?" He heard, her voice a whisper.

He closed the door and quietly walked over to her.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." He told her, brushing her hair out of her face.

"It's okay. What time is it?" She asked with a yawn.

"Half past six."

"I need to tell you something." She said. "I want to apologize." He opened his mouth to say something, but she put her hand to his mouth. "I have been so focused on…" She cleared her throat. "...Remintington, that I have ignored you. I am happy with you, I am. I don't want you to think you are not enough for me because you are. You are everything to me and I love you."

Derek removed her hand from his mouth, kissing it gently before saying, "Mer, I understand and I am so sorry you are hurting but no matter what happens we will get through this." He promised.

She nodded.

"Derek, can we go home now?" She asked.

"Absolutely."

He helped her up and they walked hand in hand to his car, both of them glancing at the door to the NICU before leaving their hearts there with a little girl named Remington Jade.

* * *

**What are you guys thinking?**


	47. Is Remington Leaving?

_Chapter 47: Is Remington Leaving?_

Meredith stood outside the hospital. She had been there for several minutes, trying to find the courage to go inside and not run away.

Today was the day. The day that Family Services took Remington. Meredith had done everything she could to find a reason to keep her there, but the truth was Remi was a healthy baby. She was thankful for that; she really was but she just wanted the best life for Remi.

"Hey Mer." Cristina said breathlessly as she rushed past her. "I have a Piggy Back today at eight and this is the first one I am doing solo and…" Cristina stopped when she realized Meredith had not followed her. She turned back and walked to her. "Why are you standing outside the hospital like a corpse?"

Meredith didn't respond.

Cristina waved her hand in front of her face and when that didn't work, she pinched her.

"Ow!" Meredith exclaimed. "What?" She glared at Cristina as she rubbed her arm.

"What is wrong with you?" Cristina asked.

"I…I just…" Meredith trailed off, shaking her head.

"Life doesn't turn out the way you plan sometimes Mer." Cristina said sympathetically.

Meredith nodded, took a deep breath and then walked into the hospital.

"And then again, sometimes it does." Cristina said softly to herself.

* * *

"Just get it done!"

Derek turned towards Meredith's voice, not at all surprised that she was reeling out an intern. Meredith had reached her breaking point. She was entering the first stage of grief.

"That will be all Dr. Morrison." He intercepted and the intern shot him a grateful look and scurried off.

He look searchingly into Meredith's face.

"What?" She snapped.

"It is going to be okay." He told her.

"Yeah. Whatever, I have paperwork to do." She said.

"Mer? Are you going to go say goodbye?" He asked. He didn't know if everything was going to work out and he needed her to have closure. She needed to have closure.

"I can't." Her voice broke, his heart broke with it.

"You have too. If you don't, you will regret it." He told her, wrapping his arms around her in the busy hallway, not caring who saw or what conclusions they came to.

"I know, but I just don't know if I can do it. Maybe it's better this way." She told him as she tried to convince herself.

Derek sighed.

"If you think that is best."

"I do." She smiled weakly at him and then headed in the direction of her office.

Derek watched her go and pulled out his cell phone and called Victoria. He needed to know what was going on and he needed to know now.

* * *

"AARGH!" Meredith screamed in frustration and threw her pen at the wall. She couldn't focus on her work. Her mind was two floors up in the NICU with a baby who was going home. Meredith scoffed. Home. It really wasn't the accurate word in this situation. Remington deserved two parents who loved her, who wanted her, who had a warm stable home.

Meredith froze. She had a warm stable home. A loving home with a loving man. A wonderful man who wanted a family…wanted a family with her.

She stood up so abruptly that her chair clattered to the ground. She was so fucking stupid.

She could adopt Remington.

She ran out of her office and forgoing the elevator, took the stairwell entrance and rushed up the two flights of stairs. She threw open the door and hauled ass down the hallway. She skidded to a stop and went into the NICU scrub room and scrubbed in, suited up, took a deep breath and slowly opened to door to the nursery. Her eyes touched on the several babies fighting for their lives before focusing on Remington's incubator. Addison, Arizona and some woman she had never met were at her bedside.

"Hello, Dr. Montgomery, Dr. Robbins." She forced herself to keep her voice steady and turned towards the stranger. "I'm sorry. I'm afraid we haven't met. I am Dr. Grey and you are?"

"I am Whitney, Whit for short. I am the social worker on this case. I am here to pick up the baby." She informed her.

Meredith nodded softly and looked at Arizona and Addison. They quickly took the hint and left.

"Where are you taking her?" Meredith demanded.

"Forgive me but I don't know if that is protocol, you are asking where the baby is being placed. With all due respect, you have done your job and I now have to do mine." Whit said, her voice soft but stern.

"You don't understand. I want to adopt her. I have a stable loving home with a great man. And I don't even know why I didn't think about it before, I mean I did, but I was so afraid to get attached and then I did anyway and I just…I want her. I need you to tell me what I have to do to get her."

Whit's eyes were really wide during her ramble and then they softened with sympathy.

"I am so sorry Dr. Grey, but we have a family for her already."

Meredith sucked in her breath and fought the overbearing tears that were threatening to fall.

"Oh." She whispered. "Is it a…I mean are they…good? Will they be good to her?"

"Yes. They will." Whit's voice rang with sincerity.

Meredith looked at Remington who was awake. She lightly caressed her cheek and then her tiny hand, choking back a sob when her little fingers curled around one of her own.

"That is all that matters then. Can I have…a minute?"

Whit nodded and slipped out of the room. Meredith finally let her tears fall as she gingerly picked up Remington and sat down in the rocking chair. She cradled her tightly and breathed her sweet baby smell, committing it to her memory.

"So you are going to your new family today. The nice lady says they are good people. She says you will be happy and that is the most important thing to me. I want you to have everything you want in life and I want you to know I will never forget you and I will always love you, but I have to let you go now. Be safe. Be happy. Be loved." She kissed Remi's downy blond hair and they stayed that way until Whit came back.

"Dr. Grey? I have to take her now."

Meredith squeezed Remington tighter and closed her eyes, the tears slipping down her face in silent tracks.

"Okay." She whispered and slowly stood up and with her heart breaking, handed her over to the social worker.

"I'm sorry Dr. Grey." Was all Whit said before leaving, taking a piece of Meredith with her.

* * *

"What the hell am I paying you for?" Derek demanded, the door slamming into the wall.

Victoria looked up and raised her eyebrow.

"Hello Dr. Shepherd, I am doing great and you?" She said sarcastically.

"They are taking her today. Who got her? Who did they give her to? Did they find the person who abandoned her? Did they even consider me?"

"Sit down and shut up." Victoria demanded.

Derek took a deep breath and then sat down.

"I just wanted…if you tell me that the home she is going to is safe and she will have a good life then I will deal with it, but if she is going to a foster family or to the woman who left her out in the cold then I can't accept that. I won't accept that."

Victoria looked at him and then to the papers on her desk. She started reading.

_"Dr. Cristina Yang: Mer and Shepherd are good people, mostly stable, willing to give up anything for a child that isn't theirs, including their jobs, very unselfish."_

_"Dr. Alex Karev: Shepherd and Grey would be good parents. Better than I had, more than I could wish for."__"Dr. George O'Malley: Meredith is a great woman, very kind but firm. She gets that from her mother. She wants to help people, most of the time at the expense of herself. Dr. Shepherd is a great surgeon, very caring, very invested in the lives of his co-workers and his patients. Comes from a great family."_

_"Dr. Izzie Stevens: Mer is great mother material, has a very big heart, great boss. Derek is infinitely kind and loving, great teacher."_

_"Dr. Miranda Bailey: Dr. Shepherd has been a wonderful addition to my staff, has babysat my son on more than one occasion, loves his mother, loves Dr. Grey. They just clicked. Dr. Grey is kind, patient, loving and perfect for Dr. Shepherd. If they don't get this baby, you will be hearing from me and no one wants to hear from Dr. Miranda Bailey."_

_"Dr. Owen Hunt: Derek is a great guy, very dependable, very smart, very patient. I don't know Dr. Grey as well, but she is a fair boss with a good head on her shoulders."_

_"Dr. Mark Sloan: Derek has been my family since I was six. I had a bad family and his took me in. Derek has always wanted a family and he has a great example in his. Grey is a wonderful addition to our family and our mother loves her and if she loves you, you are golden. They will be wonderful parents and any child would be lucky to have them."_

_"Dr. Arizona Robbins: I have made a living out of treating children and talking to their parents and I am being completely honest when I say that Remington couldn't ask for two better parents. She will have anything she could ever want, and she will be loved."_

_"Dr. Addison Montgomery: As I write this I am looking down at this beautiful child and I am saddened by the fact that already her life has been tainted. But I am heartened by the fact that it doesn't have to remain that way. I have known Derek for a few years now and he has always wanted a family and he would be an amazing father. I have only known Dr. Grey for a few months, and I will admit that we don't see eye to eye, but she would be the best choice to be Remington mother. I don't think you could pick better parents for her."__  
_  
Victoria finished reading and looked up at him, slipping her glasses off her face and waited.

Derek sat there stunned.

"What is that?"

"That was your letters of recommendation. We had to have two and we talked to Dr. Bailey and that is what she sent us six hours later. Nine letters from well-respected doctors. Very impressive."

"They are taking her." He told her.

"_Correction_: They have already taken her, and she will be delivered to her new family momentarily." Victoria informed him.

"She isn't a package." He said, his eyes flashing. Victoria remained relaxed and somewhat smug.

"So that's it. I never had a chance, did I?" He asked.

"I don't know, did you?"

Derek stood up and glared at her.

"Just send me your bill." He demanded before storming out.

Victoria sighed and followed him.

"Wait! She will be happy; she will be loved. I promise you that. Do you want to meet the parents?" She asked.

Derek stared at the ground for a long while before looking at her. He had to know, he had to see, so he could tell Meredith she would be happy.

He cleared his throat and swallowed hard.

"Yeah, sure." He agreed.

'Okay, let's go."

* * *

**What do you guys think?**


	48. Remington Jade Shepherd

_Chapter 48: Remington Jade Shepherd_

"You ready?'

Derek set his jaw and glared at Victoria, wanting to shut up that cheery tone in her voice.

"Let's get this over with."

"Now that is such a defeatist attitude to have." She admonished.

He didn't bother replying and got out, shutting the door behind him. He followed her up the stairs leading to Seattle's Department of Family Services. They entered and went down the hallway to a closed door. Victoria knocked.

The door opened immediately to reveal Whit.

"Victoria. Dr. Shepherd. Please, come in." She stepped back and let them enter.

Derek's eyes focused immediately on a car seat and a tiny hand, Remington's hand, poking out from it as she flailed around. He steeled himself against the crippling emotions that threatened to bring him to his knees.

"Where are they?" He choked out.

"Why don't you have a seat Dr. Shepherd." Whit suggested.

"I'll remain standing, thanks." He said.

"Sit down!" Victoria hissed.

With another glare at her, he did as she demanded, trying to keep his eyes away from Remington. It hurt too much to look at her.

They all sat there, the only sound was Remi's grunts and coos.

"What are we waiting on? People can't even be on time to pick up their new baby?" He asked.

"Will you be patient?" Victoria asked, exchanging amused glances with Whit.

Finally a man and a woman entered the room. Derek looked at them carefully, looking for any outward flaws.

"Are we ready to get started with this thing?" The man asked.

"This thing?" Derek asked.

The man looked taken aback by Derek's open hostility.

"What would you rather me call it?" The man asked.

"For starters, you could start referring to 'it' as 'her' and she is a baby, a living breathing human being." Derek informed him.

The man looked at Whit, Victoria and the other woman with open confusion.

"I know that, Sir. I was talking about this meeting. I have dinner plans that I cannot break, so if we could do this quickly."

Derek jumped up and got into the man's face.

"What is your name?" He growled.

"Um…Kevin."

"Okay Kevin, this is very important. She is one of the two important people in my life and you are in a hurry? She is not an inconvenience. She is worth losing reservations for." He then turned to Whit. "This is what you consider to be acceptable? This man, who clearly has much more important things to do? This whole fucking system is corrupt!" He yelled.

Kevin looked at Whit and Victoria.

"What the hell are you two trying to pull? You want to give this baby to this man?" He asked them.

"That is what I am saying…wait, what? I thought you and your wife were getting her?"

"No. This is not my wife; this is my assistant Jamie. We are here for the temporary custody meeting."

"Temporary Custody?" Derek repeated.

"Yes, that is all we could arrange for on such short notice. But I don't think there will be a problem getting you and Dr. Grey permanent custody. We just have to do a few routine checks. We should already have done a home inspection but considering you two are physicians I am sure it is fine. However, expect one very soon."

"Home inspection. Sure, okay." Derek said, numb.

"So we just need you to sign these papers and have Dr. Grey come by soon to do the same. Shame she couldn't be here today."

Kevin held out the pen.

Derek stared at it.

"Can we maybe do this today? Seriously, it is my anniversary and my wife will skin me alive if I am late." Kevin told him.

Derek felt a nudge and he came back into himself.

"So she is mine? Mine and Meredith's?" He clarified.

Whit nodded.

"Barring any complications. Once you sign these papers, the mother has sixty days to come forward and claim her, but even then, she would be held accountable for her actions and a complete investigation would be started. So, we are not in the clear yet. There is a chance that you take her home and get completely attached and we have to take her. I am sorry and that sucks, but that is the risk you have to take if you want her." She explained.

"I understand. But know if that happens, we will fight." He said.

"We sure will." Victoria agreed.

Derek took the pen and signed where indicated. Kevin shook his hand.

"Um…sorry about my little outburst there." Derek told him.

'Little? I was afraid my wife would be a widow if I said much more." Kevin joked. "Congratulations." He and his assistant left.

Derek looked at Whit and Victoria.

"You two…" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "…I should be so pissed."

"But you're not." Victoria gloated.

"I will be by later this week to do the home inspection." Whit said before shaking his hand and leaving.

"Well, come on Daddy. Grab your daughter and I will take you to your car."

"Daddy." He breathed.

He went over to Remington and stroked her cheek. She was sleeping peacefully. He picked up the handle of the car seat and followed Victoria once again.

He put her carefully in the back seat and got in beside her.

"Do I look like a chauffeur?" Victoria complained teasingly.

"Just hurry up. I want to get Remi to her mother." Derek grinned.

"As you wish."

"Why couldn't you be this accommodating the whole time?" Derek asked.

"Hey, I got the job done, didn't I?" She asked.

"Yes, yes you did. Thank you." He said sincerely.

"My pleasure Derek."

* * *

Meredith focused on making dinner. She had to concentrate on Derek, or she feared she would go crazy. So, she had come to her empty home and cleaned within an inch of her life and now she was making steak, potatoes, and a salad…the first meal she had ever had with him.

She would not cry. She would not break down. She would continue on with her life. She would try to forget…

Meredith now abandoned cutting up the cucumber and focused instead on not having a panic attack.

This hurt too much. This is what people felt like when family members died, when children died, when biological parents decided to keep their children instead of giving it to the nice hopeful family that the baby was promised to. She had gotten her hopes up, she had gotten too attached.

She wouldn't do this again. She couldn't. She and Derek could be happy, just the two of them. She would be the best Aunt Meredith that his nieces and nephews could ever dream of, but she would not try adopting. She would not replace Remington. She only hoped Derek understood.

She heard the door open and she wiped her tears away, concentrating on her breathing and on slicing.

"Mer?" Derek called out.

"In here." She called, wincing. Her voice was all wrong. He would know and he would let her grieve and he would support her.

"Hey." He said softly.

"Hey." She said, not looking up.

"I got something for you." He said.

"Oh, okay…you didn't have to do that." She said weakly.

"Aren't you going to ask what it is?"

"I will…I just need to finish this."

"You are really going to love it." He said. "I am excited about it myself. It will be perfect. Our lives are going to be perfect."

She slammed down the knife.

"Perfect? There is no such thing as perfect." She hissed. "I just had to let go of the most beautiful, precious thing besides you that I have ever wanted in my life and you think that the flowers or jewelry you bought me will change that and make it all better? You are fucking delusional!"

"Hey now. There are sensitive and innocent ears in here. Don't use that language. We don't want Remington repeating any of that, do we?" He asked.

Meredith frozed, and she slowly turned around to face him. What she saw took her breath away.

Derek was standing in their kitchen holding the most beautiful and precious thing besides Derek that she had ever wanted.

Tears sidled down her face.

"What? How?" She whispered.

"I saw how much you wanted her, and I have been trying for days to make it happen. It cost us a fortune and all we have right now is temporary custody, but I believe everything will work out. I wasn't sure if I could pull it off and I almost didn't…but here she is…and would you say something?" He asked.

"I love you." She breathed.

He smiled.

"As I love you."

Meredith walked slowly up to them, the love of her life and their little girl, and hugged them both.

"Wait. We don't have a crib or clothes, or good God, diapers or formula. Shi…Crap! What are we going to do?" She asked panicked.

"We have a diaper bag full of diapers, wipes, formula, and bottles to get us through until tomorrow. She can sleep, if she sleeps, with us tonight. I have three outfits and we can bathe her in the sink. Tomorrow we will go to the baby store and go broke." He told her.

Meredith calmed down.

"I also want to get married." He told her.

She raised her eyebrow.

"You want? That is what you consider to be a good proposal? Oh no. You need a ring and you need to kneel at my feet." She demanded.

"I have a baby in my arms." He informed her.

She took Remington from him and smiled at her. Then she looked at Derek expectantly.

"Well?"

He rolled his eyes but got down on one knee.

"I don't have the ring. It is at my mother's house in her safe. However, it would make me the happiest man on earth if you would become my wife. I love you. Will you marry me?"

She screwed her face up and pretended to think about it. Finally, she sighed.

"I can't let Remington be illegitimate. So, I guess."

"Oh that is just…yeah…thank you for that." Derek complained.

"I'm kidding. Of course I will marry you!"

He got up and dragged her into his arms, holding her tightly and kissing her over and over again.

They broke apart when Remington whimpered in protest.

"Our sex life is going to be taking a back seat, huh?" Meredith said.

Derek shrugged.

"So worth it. Let's put her to bed, so we can eat."

"Hey Derek?"

"Yes?"

"I don't know anything about taking care of babies." She informed him.

Derek rolled his eyes and looked at her.

"Now you tell me."

Her answering giggle warmed his heart. He took her hand in hers.

"We will learn…together." He promised.

"Together." She agreed.

"We will all be Shepherds soon; Meredith Elizabeth Shepherd, Derek Christopher Shepherd, and Remington Jade Shepherd." Derek said happily.

Their life would be full of challenges, everyone's always was, but it would also be full of joy, commitment, loyalty and love.


	49. Epilogue

_Epilogue: 10 Years Laters_

"Remington Jade! Get your cute little butt down here!" Meredith called upstairs to her sleepy and, right now, uncooperative, daughter.

She heard heavy trudging bangs on the stairs and surmised that Remi had finally decided to grace her with her presence.

"I don't know why I have to go to this stupid party anyway. It is Saturday Mom, Saturday! I am up at the crack of dawn!" Remi complained.

Meredith rolled her eyes at her precocious and dramatic eleven-year-old.

"It is nine a.m." Meredith contradicted. "And the stupid party is for Michael."

"Michael is stupid. All he cares about are girls and sports."

Meredith really couldn't argue that point.

"Your brother is not stupid. He just has an…active social life." She finally said.

Michael had joined their family three years ago when he was eleven. He had been brought in after a concerned citizen had noticed him coughing up blood on the street…where he had been living for three months. His mother, a drug addict, had kicked him out and he had nowhere to go.

Dr. Bailey had treated him and informed Meredith and Derek about his situation, knowing they had been planning on adopting another child. Meredith had taken one look at the brave teenager and had taken him home that very night. His mother had given him up willingly.

It hadn't been all rainbows from that point either. It had been a struggle. Michael was at times defiant and moody but beneath that defensive barrier was a heart of gold. He had dark brown hair and piercing green eyes and was popular, like Lily said, with the girls. Apparently, they thought that mysterious brooding type was hot.

He was now making decent grades and was playing baseball and basketball. Meredith was very proud of her eldest child.

Remington was in the fifth grade, a straight A student and took jazz and ballet. She was a bundle of energy, except for the mornings. Like Meredith, Remington was not a morning person. Derek and Michael however, were. Remington had straight honey blond hair down her back, the curliness had gone away after her first self-inflicted haircut when she was three.

Worst words in the parent's dictionary: "Mommy, I am playing Beauty Shop! Ain't I pretty?"

Meredith laughed lightly to herself.

She heard the door open and close.

"Mom?" Michael yelled.

Meredith rolled her eyes. Did she mention he was loud and boisterous?

"In the kitchen."

"Ooh! Pancakes!" He bounded over to the table and sat down, messing up Remi's hair as he did.

"Mom!" Remi protested.

Michael smirked at her.

"Michael." Meredith warned. "Stop messing up her hair. You know she is as bad as Dad about her hair and I need to get out of here soon."

Lily stuck out her tongue at Michael.

"Remington Jade…" Meredith said.

Remi pressed her lips together and huffed, crossing her arms and pouting.

"Good Morning Shepherd family." Derek said, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a cup and pouring coffee before giving Meredith a kiss. She returned it fiercely. She had missed him as he had stayed at the hospital last night. After almost ten years of marriage, they still acted like teens at the prom. He deepened the kiss, making her moan.

"Gross! I am trying to eat here." Michael complained.

"Ick! Cooties." Remi grumbled.

Derek pulled back from Meredith with a grin and turned to his daughter.

"That's right Rem. Boys have cooties and they stink. Remember that always. Please." He pleaded.

Meredith laughed. Derek made no secret of the fact he was terrified that Remington was growing up.

"What? I know how boys think. If I didn't remember all I have to do is look at Michael and I am reminded of it…daily." He muttered to her.

"Hey, I am the one that found his Playboys. Imagine that conversation." She stressed to him.

"You win." He said quickly.

"Look at them." She murmured.

They were both laughing at something, one dark head, one blond, positioned close together as they plotted. They were good kids, really, she and Derek couldn't complain, but when they got along and got together…watch out.

"Hey now, none of that." Derek said, seeing what she was focusing on.

"What?" Remington asked, the picture of innocence.

"Don't 'what' me. You two are planning something and we have company coming today, including Grandma and Grandpa Webber. I don't want any buckets of water falling on anyone's head. Do I make myself clear?" Derek said.

Hmmm…forceful, disciplinary Derek. Very hot.

"Yes Dad." Michael sighed but still exchanged a sly glance with Lily.

Meredith gave up.

"We have to leave for the airport in half an hour, so go brush your teeth and Michael, brush that nappy head. It looks like you just woke up."

"Girls dig the messy look which works for me." He shrugged.

"Michael, brush, now." Meredith pointed towards the stairs.

Michael rolled his eyes and got up.

"I will roll those eyes out of your head if you keep it up." She shouted good naturedly after him.

"She's a brain surgeon, I have seen her do it." Derek added.

Remington sighed dramatically.

"What are we going to do with him?" She asked.

Now it was Meredith's turn to roll her eyes.

"Get upstairs and finish getting ready." Derek told her.

"In thirty minutes, Dad, get real."

"Try." He emphasized.

Finally the kitchen was free of children.

Derek pulled Meredith in his arms.

"Do you ever get up in the mornings and think, 'Did I really want children?'"

Meredith smiled. She knew he was joking. He loved this as much, if not more than she did.

"Only when they are being little cockblockers." She told him.

He laughed out loud.

"There are no little cockblockers around right now." He said suggestively.

"Load in the washer is about to hit the spin cycle."

His eye's darkened and he practically dragged her to the laundry room.

What a perfect way to start the day.

* * *

Hours later, long after the guests had left, Meredith headed to Remington's room for their nightly ritual. No matter how old she had gotten this is one thing they never failed to do, even if Meredith was working late. This was their bonding time. Michael never wanted to do it, but then again, he was older when they adopted him.

"Hey Rem. You ready?"

"Yep."

Meredith padded over to Remington and got into her full-size bed beside her.

"What do you want to talk about tonight?" She asked her.

"I want to hear my favorite story." Remington decided.

Meredith fought her tears back.

Why?

Because Remi's favorite story was Meredith's as well. It was the best story in the history of the world…

"You want to hear it again? Really?" Meredith asked.

"Yes Mommy, tell me the story of when you and Daddy chose me to be yours forever."


End file.
